5 Things Not Likely to Happen in My Lifetime

5. A playdate between Brooke Shields new "bun in the oven" and TomKitten
4. Sylvester Stallone turning down Rocky/Rambo X (XI, XII, XIII...)
3. Mariah Carey wearing a dress that wasn't made for someone half her size
2. An ugly actress winning an Oscar for her elegant portrayal of a beauty queen
1. Lourdes, Rocco, Bobbi Kristina, Prince Michael (I and Blanket) and Paris Jackson-- all somehow turn out normal and avoid intensive psychotherapy sessions.