Oh, and the Farm Boy is off golfing in another state, so I'll be home alone. Watching
See? That's what you get when you abandon your wife to go golfing with your brothers. She hangs out at home alone with Hugh Jackman. ;-)
Ah... life is good.
Showing posts with label Farm Boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Farm Boy. Show all posts
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Drunk and Nude
His words. Not mine. This may be my all-time favorite Oscars telecast EVER.
Oh, and the Farm Boy is off golfing in another state, so I'll be home alone. Watchingthe Oscars Hugh Jackman. I won't have to worry about the Farm Boy catching me drooling or anything. I won't have to pretend I'm not really that interested.
See? That's what you get when you abandon your wife to go golfing with your brothers. She hangs out at home alone with Hugh Jackman. ;-)
Ah... life is good.
Oh, and the Farm Boy is off golfing in another state, so I'll be home alone. Watching
See? That's what you get when you abandon your wife to go golfing with your brothers. She hangs out at home alone with Hugh Jackman. ;-)
Ah... life is good.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Why You Should Never Go To The Mall When You Are Bored...
My family decided to go to the mall yesterday... as a family. This meant my parents, my two siblings, a niece and a nephew, one of my kids, the Farm Boy, and me. I have NO idea what kind of wild hair instigated this family outing, but there you are.
Ordinarily, coordinating who would go to which area wouldn't be a big deal, but I forgot my phone. And the Farm Boy's phone died 2 minutes after we arrived, as he had forgotten to charge it the night before. Okay. Still no big deal. Seriously, what did we do before cell phones???
But here's what went down:
1. Parents went to the food court, then a store, and then said they'd be leaving after that.
2. Sibling #1 and niece went shopping for prom jewelry.
3. Sibling #2 and nephew went to the play area.
4. Daughter #1 wanted new jeans. Farm Boy and I sat in American Eagle waiting while she tried on 8 pairs of jeans.
5. I bought two pairs of jeans for Daughter #1.
6. As the three of us were walking back to find everyone else, Daughter #1 and I see a clothing store with a 70% off sale. Conversation followed thusly:
Daughter #1: "Ooh! I still have a gift card for that store. Let's go there."
Me: [noting the eye-rolling coming from the Farm Boy] "Honey, why don't you go to a boy store for about 20 minutes and then meet us back in front of the Starbucks. Is that okay?"
Farm Boy: "Okay."
7. Fast-forward 20 minutes... I am purchasing 2 pairs of pants, a few shirts, and a couple of spring sweaters (I LURVE sales and am a retailer's dream). I'm not quite through with my choices, but Daughter #1 and I have already been in the fitting rooms, and we're on the downward slope to final decisions. It has been 25 minutes since we've seen the Farm Boy.
8. Farm Boy walks in the store. I'm feeling a little guilty about buying MORE clothes, plus knowing that we've gone over our agreed upon 20 minutes.
9. But then I notice something in his hands.
10. It looks like a warranty-service-receipt packet... you know, the kind you get when you buy major items??? Conversation followed thusly:
Me: [knowing about a big sale on plasma TVs in the same mall] "What did you do?!?!?"
Farm Boy: "You told me to keep myself busy for about 20 minutes."
Me: "But that means you spent about..."
Farm Boy: "Yes. Yes I did."
Me: "Well, then I'm not going to feel so guilty about what I'm buying. [eyeing a cute pair of cropped jeans] Oh! And I'm going to get these too. [eyeing a cute halter and sweater set] Oh! And these too!"
I think you get the picture. The moral of the story is:
Malls + Boredom= less money in your checking account. And maybe your savings account, too.
And now the Farm Boy has his gigantic plasma TV, and he's pretty happy. It's not as big as I am tall (see -r-'s description of H's)... but let's just say I couldn't hug the TV if I tried, because my arms aren't that long.
Ordinarily, coordinating who would go to which area wouldn't be a big deal, but I forgot my phone. And the Farm Boy's phone died 2 minutes after we arrived, as he had forgotten to charge it the night before. Okay. Still no big deal. Seriously, what did we do before cell phones???
But here's what went down:
1. Parents went to the food court, then a store, and then said they'd be leaving after that.
2. Sibling #1 and niece went shopping for prom jewelry.
3. Sibling #2 and nephew went to the play area.
4. Daughter #1 wanted new jeans. Farm Boy and I sat in American Eagle waiting while she tried on 8 pairs of jeans.
5. I bought two pairs of jeans for Daughter #1.
6. As the three of us were walking back to find everyone else, Daughter #1 and I see a clothing store with a 70% off sale. Conversation followed thusly:
Daughter #1: "Ooh! I still have a gift card for that store. Let's go there."
Me: [noting the eye-rolling coming from the Farm Boy] "Honey, why don't you go to a boy store for about 20 minutes and then meet us back in front of the Starbucks. Is that okay?"
Farm Boy: "Okay."
7. Fast-forward 20 minutes... I am purchasing 2 pairs of pants, a few shirts, and a couple of spring sweaters (I LURVE sales and am a retailer's dream). I'm not quite through with my choices, but Daughter #1 and I have already been in the fitting rooms, and we're on the downward slope to final decisions. It has been 25 minutes since we've seen the Farm Boy.
8. Farm Boy walks in the store. I'm feeling a little guilty about buying MORE clothes, plus knowing that we've gone over our agreed upon 20 minutes.
9. But then I notice something in his hands.
10. It looks like a warranty-service-receipt packet... you know, the kind you get when you buy major items??? Conversation followed thusly:
Me: [knowing about a big sale on plasma TVs in the same mall] "What did you do?!?!?"
Farm Boy: "You told me to keep myself busy for about 20 minutes."
Me: "But that means you spent about..."
Farm Boy: "Yes. Yes I did."
Me: "Well, then I'm not going to feel so guilty about what I'm buying. [eyeing a cute pair of cropped jeans] Oh! And I'm going to get these too. [eyeing a cute halter and sweater set] Oh! And these too!"
I think you get the picture. The moral of the story is:
Malls + Boredom= less money in your checking account. And maybe your savings account, too.
And now the Farm Boy has his gigantic plasma TV, and he's pretty happy. It's not as big as I am tall (see -r-'s description of H's)... but let's just say I couldn't hug the TV if I tried, because my arms aren't that long.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
No Foolin'...
Rats. I didn't fool anyone yesterday with my post. Was I maybe just a BIT too obvious? ;-)
My annual fool on the Farm Boy didn't work either... I either call, email, or text him that "Oops! I'm pregnant."
His first response yesterday? "Woo hoo!"
That is simply not a good response.* Maybe I need a new fool for next year. ** Any suggestions?
*Our youngest of four is almost fifteen years old. Our mantra for the past 5 years has been NO BABIES. We're almost empty nesters!!!
**Part of the fun of having the same fool every year is awaiting his response. He's pretty creative, and usually quite funny.
My annual fool on the Farm Boy didn't work either... I either call, email, or text him that "Oops! I'm pregnant."
His first response yesterday? "Woo hoo!"
That is simply not a good response.* Maybe I need a new fool for next year. ** Any suggestions?
*Our youngest of four is almost fifteen years old. Our mantra for the past 5 years has been NO BABIES. We're almost empty nesters!!!
**Part of the fun of having the same fool every year is awaiting his response. He's pretty creative, and usually quite funny.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Profession of Love and Thanks to the Farm Boy
When I opened the garage door to head out to dinner this evening, there was a new* car sitting in my driveway. Yep. That's my new* car. The Farm Boy RULES.
Pics to come later.
And you know what else this means?!?! NO MORE LOSER CRUISER FOR MRS. GRUMPY! W00T!
*ahem* This site shall be temporarily known as the Happy Frump. Grumpiness will commence again tomorrow morning, as I'm sure I'll find something to put me into my usual sour mood.
But for now.... did I mention how much I love, love, LOVE my Farm Boy?!?! He's the coolest. And he's hot. And even though I'm just a grumpy old frumpy girl, he tells me I'm pretty every day. Yes, it's usually right after I wake up, looking like hell... and he's probably just trying to convince himSELF that he didn't marry a troll... but hey. You take what you can get.
*"New" to us. It's against my principles to buy a brand new car, drive it off the lot, and lose around 20% of its initial value. You can do it if you want, I'm not judging you. ;-)
UPDATE: Lest anyone think me VERY spoiled, I just wanted to note that he didn't buy the new car outright. We still have to make the monthly payments. This isn't one of those Lexus commercials with a new car and a bow.
Pics to come later.
And you know what else this means?!?! NO MORE LOSER CRUISER FOR MRS. GRUMPY! W00T!
*ahem* This site shall be temporarily known as the Happy Frump. Grumpiness will commence again tomorrow morning, as I'm sure I'll find something to put me into my usual sour mood.
But for now.... did I mention how much I love, love, LOVE my Farm Boy?!?! He's the coolest. And he's hot. And even though I'm just a grumpy old frumpy girl, he tells me I'm pretty every day. Yes, it's usually right after I wake up, looking like hell... and he's probably just trying to convince himSELF that he didn't marry a troll... but hey. You take what you can get.
*"New" to us. It's against my principles to buy a brand new car, drive it off the lot, and lose around 20% of its initial value. You can do it if you want, I'm not judging you. ;-)
UPDATE: Lest anyone think me VERY spoiled, I just wanted to note that he didn't buy the new car outright. We still have to make the monthly payments. This isn't one of those Lexus commercials with a new car and a bow.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
My Husband is Going to Freak...
I’m just going to type it, and then run like hell. So read quickly.
I’m having baby withdrawals, and the reason is two-fold, I think.
1) When my husband and I married almost 5 years ago, we each brought two children to the marriage. Our kids are all teenagers now, with the oldest in college. The other three are all in high school (yes, I know. I will accept sympathy in the form of cash… or comments. Whatever.).
I wish I had a dollar for every time my husband and I have been asked if we are going to have a child “of our own.” Well, we do have children of our own… 4 of them. But I understand what the question is really asking… are we ever going to have a child together? The answer has always been a resounding “NO.” Sometimes a resounding “Hell NO!” We’re still relatively young (we’re both in our late 30s), and it’s rather refreshing to have a date night where no babysitters are required. Also, I can’t remember the last time I had to buy diapers. Hallelujah! And even more exciting… when I’m 44, all our kids will be in their 20s. Empty nesters before the age of 45? Oh, sweet sounds of the gods!
Still… it does make me a little sad sometimes that I’ll never know what a Grumpy-Farm-Frumpy-Boy would look like. And we’ll never share that special intimacy of conceiving a child, going through birth together (granted, I’d be doing most of the work, as usual—just kidding, honey!), and sharing that special time alone together with our baby. Our kids won’t ever have a sibling they all share together.
2) This reason is a bit selfish, but there’s so much cool stuff for young moms now! Seriously. When I was pregnant with my two girls, maternity “fashion” was the equivalent of wearing a large, burlap sack with the word “BABY” and an arrow pointing at your stomach. Brilliant, right? Maternity clothes are sooooooooo much cuter now!
And… there were no blogs back then. I lived in a small town, away from my family and friends, with only my future ex and his family as a support system. I craved other “mommy” contact and conversations, but other than the women in my LaMaze classes, there were no connections for me. I am slightly envious of all the mommies who have found such a great community through their blogs. What a great opportunity, especially for those who aren't around family and friends!
Once the girls were born, I could carry around pictures with me, or mail them to friends and family, but there wasn’t an easy method with which to share pictures and video. Flickr? Yeah, nothing like that existed. Eventually, email came around, but it was slow, and believe it or not, a lot of people didn’t have it. (Okay, I am officially a dinosaur.)
And I know every generation of moms can say this… but the toys. THE TOYS. Even our kids groan when they see all the cool toys that are out there now!
I realize I have a lot of benefits of having near-grown children, and that I wouldn’t trade one ounce of my life now for anything different. Every once in a while, though, I do get these baby withdrawals and just wonder “what if?”
I’m having baby withdrawals, and the reason is two-fold, I think.
1) When my husband and I married almost 5 years ago, we each brought two children to the marriage. Our kids are all teenagers now, with the oldest in college. The other three are all in high school (yes, I know. I will accept sympathy in the form of cash… or comments. Whatever.).
I wish I had a dollar for every time my husband and I have been asked if we are going to have a child “of our own.” Well, we do have children of our own… 4 of them. But I understand what the question is really asking… are we ever going to have a child together? The answer has always been a resounding “NO.” Sometimes a resounding “Hell NO!” We’re still relatively young (we’re both in our late 30s), and it’s rather refreshing to have a date night where no babysitters are required. Also, I can’t remember the last time I had to buy diapers. Hallelujah! And even more exciting… when I’m 44, all our kids will be in their 20s. Empty nesters before the age of 45? Oh, sweet sounds of the gods!
Still… it does make me a little sad sometimes that I’ll never know what a Grumpy-Farm-Frumpy-Boy would look like. And we’ll never share that special intimacy of conceiving a child, going through birth together (granted, I’d be doing most of the work, as usual—just kidding, honey!), and sharing that special time alone together with our baby. Our kids won’t ever have a sibling they all share together.
2) This reason is a bit selfish, but there’s so much cool stuff for young moms now! Seriously. When I was pregnant with my two girls, maternity “fashion” was the equivalent of wearing a large, burlap sack with the word “BABY” and an arrow pointing at your stomach. Brilliant, right? Maternity clothes are sooooooooo much cuter now!
And… there were no blogs back then. I lived in a small town, away from my family and friends, with only my future ex and his family as a support system. I craved other “mommy” contact and conversations, but other than the women in my LaMaze classes, there were no connections for me. I am slightly envious of all the mommies who have found such a great community through their blogs. What a great opportunity, especially for those who aren't around family and friends!
Once the girls were born, I could carry around pictures with me, or mail them to friends and family, but there wasn’t an easy method with which to share pictures and video. Flickr? Yeah, nothing like that existed. Eventually, email came around, but it was slow, and believe it or not, a lot of people didn’t have it. (Okay, I am officially a dinosaur.)
And I know every generation of moms can say this… but the toys. THE TOYS. Even our kids groan when they see all the cool toys that are out there now!
I realize I have a lot of benefits of having near-grown children, and that I wouldn’t trade one ounce of my life now for anything different. Every once in a while, though, I do get these baby withdrawals and just wonder “what if?”
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Where Does the Time Go?
I'm still in shock at how busy things are at work. My work year always has it's peaks and valleys, but there's not a valley in my sights right now. Gargh. Without looking back, I can't even tell you when I last posted here. This makes me a Sad Frump.
So, again... here's a quick list of stuff on my mind, since I don't have time for anything else.
1. Humidity sucks. I have stick-straight hair... I work hard to make it look "decent." And it does. Until I walk outside. I've worn my hair in an up-do more than I care to think about lately. Bring on fall weather, please!
2. I don't know why, but I can't stop craving sushi. I would eat sushi every day if I had the chance. We've had sushi probably 5 times in the last two weeks. Even the Bobblehead* was eating some sushi on the Food Network last night. Not helping the cravings.
3. People who have never lived through the destruction of a tornado do not understand the urgency of taking shelter immediately after a warning is announced. Yes, Farm Boy, this means YOU. We were lucky during this last storm... no tornado, but it was one hell of a storm. We were driving through 70-80 mph wind gusts. Scary.
4. I'm sort of looking forward to my class reunion this weekend. There are a lot of people I can't wait to see.
5. Farm Boy joined a gym. He wants me to join, and I'm all for it... unless it's a bunch of "plastics" who go at the same time I do. I left my last gym for that reason. When I go to a gym, I don't want to worry about what I look like... I just want to work out. If I have to get on an elliptical next to Barbie Anorexic with the DD implants, I'm sooooo outta there.
That's all I've got for now. I have a day off on Friday to help College Daughter move into her dorm, and then I'll be readying myself for the reunion activities (read here: try not to look older than I actually am). At any rate, it should be good for a few posts... that is, if I have time to post anything!
Over and out.
*You know who she is.
So, again... here's a quick list of stuff on my mind, since I don't have time for anything else.
1. Humidity sucks. I have stick-straight hair... I work hard to make it look "decent." And it does. Until I walk outside. I've worn my hair in an up-do more than I care to think about lately. Bring on fall weather, please!
2. I don't know why, but I can't stop craving sushi. I would eat sushi every day if I had the chance. We've had sushi probably 5 times in the last two weeks. Even the Bobblehead* was eating some sushi on the Food Network last night. Not helping the cravings.
3. People who have never lived through the destruction of a tornado do not understand the urgency of taking shelter immediately after a warning is announced. Yes, Farm Boy, this means YOU. We were lucky during this last storm... no tornado, but it was one hell of a storm. We were driving through 70-80 mph wind gusts. Scary.
4. I'm sort of looking forward to my class reunion this weekend. There are a lot of people I can't wait to see.
5. Farm Boy joined a gym. He wants me to join, and I'm all for it... unless it's a bunch of "plastics" who go at the same time I do. I left my last gym for that reason. When I go to a gym, I don't want to worry about what I look like... I just want to work out. If I have to get on an elliptical next to Barbie Anorexic with the DD implants, I'm sooooo outta there.
That's all I've got for now. I have a day off on Friday to help College Daughter move into her dorm, and then I'll be readying myself for the reunion activities (read here: try not to look older than I actually am). At any rate, it should be good for a few posts... that is, if I have time to post anything!
Over and out.
*You know who she is.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
I'm Home... but not for long!
We arrived home from California very early this morning, and I am headed out to a conference in Atlanta very early tomorrow morning. Talk about jet lag!
Here's a quick recap of what we did in CA (I'll post more later):
6/15: arrived in Ontario (California, not Canada); drove to Menifee where brother-in-law lives. Stayed in Menifee/Canyon Lakes area.
6/16: drove the kids to Hollywood for the afternoon. Spent more time on the freeway than we did in Hollywood, but knew that was going to happen.
6/17: spent Father's Day waiting for the guys to golf and then ate dinner at BIL's house. Also spent much time being annoyed with the Farm Boy's twin. I definitely have the good twin!!
6/18: went to Knott's Berry Farm and Soak City for the day.
6/19-21: half of us sailed and half of us ferried from Long Beach/San Pedro area to Avalon on Catalina Island. Were only scheduled to stay there a day, but the sail snapped on the sailboat, and those who were sailing were stranded in the middle of the ocean for a while. Finally, they motored into Avalon. Instead of going on to Two Harbors, we stayed at Avalon the entire time. We did some horseback riding, snorkeling, beachcombing, glass-bottom boating, kayaking, eating.... you name it. The Farm Boy was able to go scuba diving with his siblings and saw the resident 300 lb black sea bass named Fred. The weather there was absolutely beautiful! I'll post some pics later!
6/22: Sailed/Ferried back to Long Beach/San Pedro. Spent some time on the boardwalk in Long Beach at Shoreline Villages... wanted to take the older kids on the Queen Mary, but ran out of time. I'm pretty bummed about that. Drove back to Menifee.
6/23: had a quick lunch at a relative's house in Upland, then drove into Ontario to the airport for the flight home. Returned just after midnight.
We had a good time, but I can definitely say that a person who is a planner to a fault (ME) will always have a stressful experience with people who decide what to do at the last minute (Farm Boy and all his family). I know the kids had a good time, as did the Farm Boy, so that's all that really matters. I will spend three days in a [NICE!] hotel all by myself while at my conference, so that's where I'll have MY vacation. ;-)
And with that... I need to get back to packing. I have lists to check off and minute details to fret over. W00T!
Here's a quick recap of what we did in CA (I'll post more later):
6/15: arrived in Ontario (California, not Canada); drove to Menifee where brother-in-law lives. Stayed in Menifee/Canyon Lakes area.
6/16: drove the kids to Hollywood for the afternoon. Spent more time on the freeway than we did in Hollywood, but knew that was going to happen.
6/17: spent Father's Day waiting for the guys to golf and then ate dinner at BIL's house. Also spent much time being annoyed with the Farm Boy's twin. I definitely have the good twin!!
6/18: went to Knott's Berry Farm and Soak City for the day.
6/19-21: half of us sailed and half of us ferried from Long Beach/San Pedro area to Avalon on Catalina Island. Were only scheduled to stay there a day, but the sail snapped on the sailboat, and those who were sailing were stranded in the middle of the ocean for a while. Finally, they motored into Avalon. Instead of going on to Two Harbors, we stayed at Avalon the entire time. We did some horseback riding, snorkeling, beachcombing, glass-bottom boating, kayaking, eating.... you name it. The Farm Boy was able to go scuba diving with his siblings and saw the resident 300 lb black sea bass named Fred. The weather there was absolutely beautiful! I'll post some pics later!
6/22: Sailed/Ferried back to Long Beach/San Pedro. Spent some time on the boardwalk in Long Beach at Shoreline Villages... wanted to take the older kids on the Queen Mary, but ran out of time. I'm pretty bummed about that. Drove back to Menifee.
6/23: had a quick lunch at a relative's house in Upland, then drove into Ontario to the airport for the flight home. Returned just after midnight.
We had a good time, but I can definitely say that a person who is a planner to a fault (ME) will always have a stressful experience with people who decide what to do at the last minute (Farm Boy and all his family). I know the kids had a good time, as did the Farm Boy, so that's all that really matters. I will spend three days in a [NICE!] hotel all by myself while at my conference, so that's where I'll have MY vacation. ;-)
And with that... I need to get back to packing. I have lists to check off and minute details to fret over. W00T!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That
Do you ever have those days when EVERYBODY is on your shit list? I keep thinking, "why is everyone intent on pissing me off?"
Then I realize, of course, it can't be everyone else. It has to be me. Gah.
I can't wait until this month is over. Two more days. I might be normal again after that.
Thanks to you all for the well wishes and thoughts while I was "out" losing my gallbladder. You're all so thoughtful, kind... and funny!!
And no, wire, they didn't let me keep my gallbladder. I think I signed a paper that donated any tissue to science. I can't be entirely certain, as I was mostly out of it that morning. ;-)
Daughter #1 graduated Sunday and is currently on her way to our nation's capital. Like I need one more thing to worry about. haha I'm sure she'll have a great time. Daughter #2 celebrated a birthday over the weekend. I'm really glad that she doesn't feel too old to hug her mom. Yet.
My poor Farm Boy is bearing the brunt of our busy life and his 'ailing' wife. Poor, poor Farm Boy.
Then I realize, of course, it can't be everyone else. It has to be me. Gah.
I can't wait until this month is over. Two more days. I might be normal again after that.
next
Thanks to you all for the well wishes and thoughts while I was "out" losing my gallbladder. You're all so thoughtful, kind... and funny!!
And no, wire, they didn't let me keep my gallbladder. I think I signed a paper that donated any tissue to science. I can't be entirely certain, as I was mostly out of it that morning. ;-)
next
Daughter #1 graduated Sunday and is currently on her way to our nation's capital. Like I need one more thing to worry about. haha I'm sure she'll have a great time. Daughter #2 celebrated a birthday over the weekend. I'm really glad that she doesn't feel too old to hug her mom. Yet.
next
My poor Farm Boy is bearing the brunt of our busy life and his 'ailing' wife. Poor, poor Farm Boy.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Like A Whirlpool, It Never Ends...
Well, I'm back. Kind of.
Google Reader just looked at me today and said, "Don't act like you know me. Biotch."
100+ missed posts to catch up with... don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. Boo.
So here's what I think today:
1. I should quit my nice-paying-yet-highly-stressful job and go work at Burger King. Or maybe Barnes & Noble. Yeah, that would be better.
2. Yay, Larry Birkhead. I knew it.
3. Filing an extension on your taxes is for wussies. Yes, Farm Boy, this means you.
4. Anyone who takes a grad class the same semester her child graduates ought to have her head examined. Twice.
5. I didn't get to go on my photo retreat, so I'm rescheduling. Anyone have any idea when the weather will get nice again??? And when I say nice, I mean NOT freezing???
6. 9 more weeks until I can shed my basket-case-status. That's not too bad, right? Right???
That's about it, I guess. Be patient with me as I slog through the numerous posts I've missed in the last week. Wow. Y'all write a LOT. :-)
Google Reader just looked at me today and said, "Don't act like you know me. Biotch."
100+ missed posts to catch up with... don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. Boo.
So here's what I think today:
1. I should quit my nice-paying-yet-highly-stressful job and go work at Burger King. Or maybe Barnes & Noble. Yeah, that would be better.
2. Yay, Larry Birkhead. I knew it.
3. Filing an extension on your taxes is for wussies. Yes, Farm Boy, this means you.
4. Anyone who takes a grad class the same semester her child graduates ought to have her head examined. Twice.
5. I didn't get to go on my photo retreat, so I'm rescheduling. Anyone have any idea when the weather will get nice again??? And when I say nice, I mean NOT freezing???
6. 9 more weeks until I can shed my basket-case-status. That's not too bad, right? Right???
That's about it, I guess. Be patient with me as I slog through the numerous posts I've missed in the last week. Wow. Y'all write a LOT. :-)
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
5 Reasons the Farm Boy Makes Me Laugh...
1. He complained today that he's not getting enough "air time" on the blog. Well, here you go, honey. An entire post dedicated to you. :-)
2. He won't close the shower curtain. I maintain that if you keep the shower curtain closed, mold and mildew don't build up as quickly as when you keep the shower curtain open (and all wrinkled in one spot).
The Farm Boy maintains that he cannot enter the bathroom when the shower curtain is closed because monsters might be hiding in the shower, just waiting to attack him while he brushes his teeth.
3. During my morning teeth brushing ritual, he stood behind me and looked in the mirror.
FB: "I love you even though you're short." (He's 6'4", I'm almost 5'4")
Me: "So that means it's possible that you might not love me someday due to my shortness?"
FB: "Yes. Yes it does."
4. While playfully arguing over the phone this morning, the Farm Boy realized he was losing the argument with me*. Here's how he responded to losing:
FB: "Oh yeah?"
[barely audible, very low sounding noise]
Me: "What was that?"
FB: "That was Jaws."
[pause]
Me: "Are you standing next to the piano?"
FB: "Yes."
Me: "Jaws is your comeback??!?"
5. This look, which usually accompanies conversations like the one in #4 above.
It's an incredible likeness. Trust me.
*Yes, dear. You lost that argument, and I have proof.
2. He won't close the shower curtain. I maintain that if you keep the shower curtain closed, mold and mildew don't build up as quickly as when you keep the shower curtain open (and all wrinkled in one spot).
The Farm Boy maintains that he cannot enter the bathroom when the shower curtain is closed because monsters might be hiding in the shower, just waiting to attack him while he brushes his teeth.
3. During my morning teeth brushing ritual, he stood behind me and looked in the mirror.
FB: "I love you even though you're short." (He's 6'4", I'm almost 5'4")
Me: "So that means it's possible that you might not love me someday due to my shortness?"
FB: "Yes. Yes it does."
4. While playfully arguing over the phone this morning, the Farm Boy realized he was losing the argument with me*. Here's how he responded to losing:
FB: "Oh yeah?"
[barely audible, very low sounding noise]
Me: "What was that?"
FB: "That was Jaws."
[pause]
Me: "Are you standing next to the piano?"
FB: "Yes."
Me: "Jaws is your comeback??!?"
5. This look, which usually accompanies conversations like the one in #4 above.
It's an incredible likeness. Trust me.
*Yes, dear. You lost that argument, and I have proof.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Never Enough Until You've Got All The Stuff...
The Farm Boys often tells me that I am a marketing department's dream. A true delight. In fact, I know they literally salivate, just thinking about what a sucker I am.
Picture a team sitting down to compose their company's latest ad campaign, thinking, "What would get that Grumpy Frump person in the store to spend all her money?"
Well, since you asked...
Does anyone else do this? The Farm Boy thinks I have a sickness.
If I only purchased items when they were on sale, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. But I buy things even when they're not involved in some special offer. So, my "sale" purchases are in addition to all the other things I just have to have.
Hello. My name is Grumpy F., and I am a compulsive shopper.
Picture a team sitting down to compose their company's latest ad campaign, thinking, "What would get that Grumpy Frump person in the store to spend all her money?"
Well, since you asked...
- Buy One, Get One Free
... that seems pretty fair. If I want or need the item, I'm going for that 100% of the time. If I don't need or want it, I'll still go for it about 50-75% of the time.
- Buy One, Get a Second for 50%
... not as good as the second item for free, but still a pretty good deal. I bought six pairs of pants the other day for the price of four and half pairs. I'm still ahead in that deal, plus I desperately needed the pants.
- Spend $X or more and receive FREE SHIPPING!
This is the one that always gets me. I get all excited -Free Shipping? Score! W00T!! A couple of weeks ago, this was the offer at Sephora. All I wanted was some new lip gloss (trying some of whoorl's suggestions). My total was about $50. It I searched around for more items to purchase to tip me over the $75 mark Sephora had set (like THAT would be difficult). After a while, it dawned on me that I was about to spend $25 more for things I didn't really need, just to avoid a shipping fee that would be less than $10. I didn't take the offer this time. But I was this close.
- 2-For $X, 3-For $X...
If you make the math easy for me, I'll buy it. Items that are usually 10.99 each, but are now an amazing "2 for $20," color me SOLD. CheezIts- 3 for $5? Oh yeah. They're in the cart. This is the main reason I rarely leave Target without spending at least $100-200.
- Spend $X, and we'll throw in a FREE [nice, but usually very inexpensive item]!
I'm a goner for this ad strategy. Food, makeup, perfume... it doesn't matter. Vickie S usually does this to me. I need VS lotion, but I will inevitably bring home lotion, perfume, and a cute little bag. Meals delivered to my door... buy at least two, and get an extra FREE meal. You got it. I look at it as savings, but sometimes I'll spend more just to get the free stuff. Obviously, this is not resulting in any savings at all.
Does anyone else do this? The Farm Boy thinks I have a sickness.
If I only purchased items when they were on sale, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. But I buy things even when they're not involved in some special offer. So, my "sale" purchases are in addition to all the other things I just have to have.
Hello. My name is Grumpy F., and I am a compulsive shopper.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
How Long Have We Been Married?
We went to Target tonight. Yes, that place also known as Nirvana II (Chipotle is Nirvana I).
The Farm Boy needed printer paper, a filter for the furnace, and some packing tape. They were out of our filters. So, he got the printer paper and the tape.
I needed... a few other things.
At the checkout, the amount was just a bit over $200.
Or as Farm Boysaid bellowed,
The Farm Boy needed printer paper, a filter for the furnace, and some packing tape. They were out of our filters. So, he got the printer paper and the tape.
I needed... a few other things.
At the checkout, the amount was just a bit over $200.
Or as Farm Boy
"$242.37! I came for printer paper and tape, and it cost me $242.37!!!"
The conversation continued something like this--
ME: "Ummm, duh. It's Target. What did you expect?"
FB: "I didn't expect to buy makeup and hair stuff and socks and kitchen utensils and chopsticks and and other girlie crap!"
[since when are chopsticks "girlie crap?"]
ME: But we didn't make you buy tampons.
FB: True. [pause] Please just kill me.*
Silly boy... he should know better.
*The Farm Boy grew up in California with 5 brothers and one sister. He is desperately trying to combat the inevitable estrogen-creep that is slowly invading his manly persona.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Another set of Random Gripes...
I don't have one main topic today, so bear with me as I straggle along these completely unrelated topics:
1) The Farm Boy is brilliant. Truly, he is. He's a successful business owner, and he started his business from the ground up. I'm extremely proud of him.
But that's what makes mornings like the one we had today so crazy. I went to the garage this morning and pushed the button on the remote to unlock the car doors. No problem. Well, except the lights inside the car always light up when the doors are unlocked. They didn't today. "How odd," I thought to myself.
Then I climbed into the driver's seat. "Hmmm... what is that strange-looking light on the dashboard? Isn't that usually the light that indicates no battery? Maybe I'd better try to start the car."
As I attempted to put my keys in the ignition, I noticed... something was already there. "Hey, those are the Farm Boy's keys! Why are they still in the car? And... why are they still in the on-but-not-running position? Oh, crap. He left the keys in the car last night and didn't turn the car all the way off. Brilliant."
So, no battery this morning. Gah. What's an intelligent Grumpy Frump to do? Make the Farm Boy come back and jump her car? You betcha!
So, the Farm Boy is a brilliant man who occasionally does some really bonehead things. I think I can live with that. ;-)
2) If you've been around a while, you know I hate Daylight Saving time... on or off. Changing the clocks just messes me up. So, what did I hear yesterday? Are you kidding me? We're changing the dates now? Puh-leeze. Oh, and my favorite part of this new idea is that the "change" could be temporary. We're going to do a study to see if it makes a positive impact. If not, we'll go back to the way it was before. Gah!!
For those of you who do not know, in the US (well, most of us anyway), we will now be springing ahead the second Sunday in March and falling back on the first Sunday of November... effective times 2am both dates.
I now know this was signed into effect two years ago with the Energy Policy Act and all that... but how did I miss this very important part of it? (important to me, of course)
3) Could somebody please explain to me what the fascination is with "Fast & the Furious"-pimping of crappy little 4-door sedans?
There's a guy who works in the same office building I do... he walks into the office every day carrying his steering wheel. It's a fairly expensive brand, and he's afraid someone will break into his car and steal it. Having not seen his car, I assumed the car was somewhat expensive as well. Well, maybe not so much. I saw him pull in the other morning...
...in a very crappy, little white car that rhymes with Shonda Bivic, circa 1990. Kind of like this one.
But crappier.
With a spoiler.
And some type of backbox on the muffler. When he drives, it sounds like a little dirt bike with the sniffles.
WTF, mate?
Photo credit: epinions.com
1) The Farm Boy is brilliant. Truly, he is. He's a successful business owner, and he started his business from the ground up. I'm extremely proud of him.
But that's what makes mornings like the one we had today so crazy. I went to the garage this morning and pushed the button on the remote to unlock the car doors. No problem. Well, except the lights inside the car always light up when the doors are unlocked. They didn't today. "How odd," I thought to myself.
Then I climbed into the driver's seat. "Hmmm... what is that strange-looking light on the dashboard? Isn't that usually the light that indicates no battery? Maybe I'd better try to start the car."
As I attempted to put my keys in the ignition, I noticed... something was already there. "Hey, those are the Farm Boy's keys! Why are they still in the car? And... why are they still in the on-but-not-running position? Oh, crap. He left the keys in the car last night and didn't turn the car all the way off. Brilliant."
So, no battery this morning. Gah. What's an intelligent Grumpy Frump to do? Make the Farm Boy come back and jump her car? You betcha!
So, the Farm Boy is a brilliant man who occasionally does some really bonehead things. I think I can live with that. ;-)
next
2) If you've been around a while, you know I hate Daylight Saving time... on or off. Changing the clocks just messes me up. So, what did I hear yesterday? Are you kidding me? We're changing the dates now? Puh-leeze. Oh, and my favorite part of this new idea is that the "change" could be temporary. We're going to do a study to see if it makes a positive impact. If not, we'll go back to the way it was before. Gah!!
For those of you who do not know, in the US (well, most of us anyway), we will now be springing ahead the second Sunday in March and falling back on the first Sunday of November... effective times 2am both dates.
I now know this was signed into effect two years ago with the Energy Policy Act and all that... but how did I miss this very important part of it? (important to me, of course)
next
3) Could somebody please explain to me what the fascination is with "Fast & the Furious"-pimping of crappy little 4-door sedans?
There's a guy who works in the same office building I do... he walks into the office every day carrying his steering wheel. It's a fairly expensive brand, and he's afraid someone will break into his car and steal it. Having not seen his car, I assumed the car was somewhat expensive as well. Well, maybe not so much. I saw him pull in the other morning...
...in a very crappy, little white car that rhymes with Shonda Bivic, circa 1990. Kind of like this one.
But crappier.
With a spoiler.
And some type of backbox on the muffler. When he drives, it sounds like a little dirt bike with the sniffles.
WTF, mate?
Photo credit: epinions.com
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