Have you ever been so busy, that if one more person started talking to you while you were busy answering email/ planning meetings/ preparing a presentation/ thinking about kids' schedules/ racing to a meeting, your head would literally explode?
Yeah. Me, too. In fact... I think that's where I've been the last six weeks. Here's an example of conversations I've had during that time:
Me (on or about April 27): Ummm... what the hell happened to April?
Colleague: I don't know. Just disappeared I guess.
Someone in the background, eavesdropping on our conversation: Who's April? Nobody named April works here.
Me (today): Holy Hell! It's already the 10th!
Colleague: I know! Where is May going to?
Same someone in the background, still eavesdropping on our conversation: OH! So, last time, you guys were talking about the MONTHS, not a woman's name? I get it!
Me (dead serious): No, we're talking about the employees named April and May. They both just disappeared within the last 8 weeks, oddly enough, each 4 weeks after the other. Some deep, dark part of me wanted to add "Here's your sign" in a twangy Bill Engvall accent, but I just couldn't.
2nd Daughter (this evening... interrupting me as I'm on the phone and typing an email, plus attempting to plan dinner): Mom, can we talk about me going to a movie with my friends on Friday night and then also about my birthday party which we haven't planned yet and it's only 2 weeks and 2 days away?!?
Me: Don't talk. Please.
2nd Daughter: *huge, dramatic sigh*
Me (guilt-ridden): We'll start planning the party on Friday night after I get home from the banquet... maybe no to the movie. Talk to me tomorrow night when my brain will hopefully have stopped spinning.
2nd Daughter: Goodie! *skips off, tra la la la, to her room*
Me: What just happened? Did I say "yes" to something???!?!?
I have the afternoon off on Friday, so that will be a little bit of a break... but I honestly can't even think that far. Yet, it's not even 36 hours away.
On Saturday, I "get" to chaperone 150 teenagers to a vocal competition, and then 9 hours at an amusement park. AMUSEMENT park. Ah, the irony.
*sigh*
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6 comments:
Did you say 150?!?!? Will have the margaritas ready for when you stagger out the gate.
Duct tape is really good for wrapping around your head when your brain starts ouzzing out of your ears. Take deep breaths.
I once had to chaperone a three mega bus trip to an amusement park ACROSS STATE LINES overnight...approx. 300 kids (all the drama, choir, and dance kids). Thankfully, I was not the only teacher.
Worst trip of my life for oh, SO many reasons.
1. One of our bus drivers hit on some kid AND her mom.
2. One kid got a concussion = hospital all day. (yay, not me!)
3. One kid had to be sent home because of uncontrollable barfing = airport.
4. One kid fell off the bus and had to be driven on a FORKLIFT to the play we were seeing because she was too large for a wheelchair.
5. This Bitch-From-Hell co-worker of mine cussed at me in front of ALL THE KIDS AFTER DINNER because I didn't understand what she was saying and I told her not to talk to me like "that" (which = idiot) and I said it nice and even included please. She is a total ho bitch and that sealed the deal on my hatred for her. Lucky for me, I had to share a classroom with her. whooopee!!!!
Sorry so long. Memories took over...ah, memories.
I LOVE Bill Engvall. I'd never seen him before last week, when I watched his special and laughed so hard my abs hurt afterward.
I think our daughters are somehow related... And I am ALWAYS worried when one of them leaves the room that happy, because I get the feeling that what I said and what they heard were not the same. Either that or I actually said something I didn't mean to say - which is easy to do when distracted. (When are we not distracted??)
I'm so sorry about your weekend. And right before mother's day, too. It just isn't fair.
Paisley - OMG! What an effing nightmare!
Good luck!!!!
Maybe your daughter is trying reverse psychology?
MPB: Sometimes, confusing them is just more of a hassle.
gabrielle: Yes, 150. Luckily, I'm not the only chaperone. Thanks, I'm going to need those margaritas. LOTS of them!
goldennib: I was thinking about using the duct tape for the kids' mouths for the 3 hour ride home.
paisley: what a nightmare! This trip is across two state lines unfortunately. But, I'm a big meanie, so they'd all better behave themselves.
tammara: you know... I actually volunteered for it, not realizing it was the day before Mother's Day. I'm just stupid. Where's MY sign?!?! haha
nikki: hahahaha!! That memories of that show still make me cringe.
r: thanks... I never thought about the reverse pyschology. Hmmm, I'll have to test her on that.
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