Hell is Freezing Over...

Yes, it's true. Hell is freezing over, and little pink piggies have sprouted wings to give them flight.

Cats and dogs are going to start having tea parties every day at 4:00pm.

The clouds will part, and fat-free mochaccinos will begin pouring from the sky.

Osama Bin Laden is going to run into the streets of Baghdad, moon everyone, and then touch a stone in the town square, yelling, "BASE! Olley olley oxen free! US Marines... you're it!"

My kids are going to do all their chores without being told, and Rosie and The Donald are going to make up by French-kissing on live TV. Okay, well maybe not that last one.

Here's why: I'm going to admit that I don't know everything there is to know about something... and if you know me at all, you know that I like to be helpful to people. Therefore, it is my main goal in life to know everything about... everything. Not so I can be arrogant and elitist and make everyone feel lowlier than I. No, not at all. I am the go-to-chick for answers, because I want to be helpful.

Usually, I can figure out things without having to read a manual, even if those things are somewhat complicated. No big deal... I just know.

But now I don't know, and I'm freaking out!

So, there's nothing left to do but admit it and get it over with.

I. Don't. Know. Everything... about my new camera. Sure, I immediately knew how to take pictures, download them, add a flash, use the speed flash, blah, blah, blah. I know about aperture settings and f-stop, yadda yadda yadda. I was a photographer in a former life, so this should be easy.

But this thing has so many options! And I'm so impatient to know it all... it's driving me BATTY.

So, there. It's out. Whew. I feel so much better now.

And, I guess I'll be adding a few pages from my camera manual to my reading list. Gah.