Some Whine and Cheese Please

Actually, I really love cheese. REALLY LOVE cheese.

But that's not the point of this post. I just need to whine, and then I'll feel all better.

My body is very unhappy with me. My legs hurt. My joints hurt. I'm tired all the time. Even my scalp hurts. Being TOUCHED hurts. I'm sick a lot. Even when I get 8 or 9 hours of sleep, it never feels like enough. Adding more exercise exacerbates the problems.

For a while, we thought IBS was the culprit. Turns out... no. IBS is a symptom, not a cause.

I've been on a course of steroids on and off since June. Gained weight each time. This last course, I gained 5 lbs in one week! For most people, that's no big deal. For me, that's a pants size. Gah.

Yesterday, they took blood again. If I had a nickel for every time I've had blood drawn in the last year, I'd be able to buy a new pair of shoes. NICE shoes.

So here's the thing: it would be nice if we could at least diagnose these problems. I think the latest suspicion might be the one... but I don't even want to type it "out loud" yet. It's scary.

Trust me, taking your health for granted is a really stupid thing. When something goes wrong, you realize just that.

Thanks for letting me whine. I do feel a little better.

A Letter to Attention Whores

Dear Young Women of the World,

Please stop taking videos of yourselves doing sexy times with your boyfriends.

At the most, you'll land a reality show on E! -- and then people will be talking about you a few years later when you are in rehab. ONLY because you are in rehab.

No one will remember anything intelligent you have to say. No one will remember anything you might have invented. No one will remember any 'good' you might have done for the earth or humanity. No one will remember anything but your lousy sex tape.

You are undermining centuries of women who fought tooth and nail to overcome female oppression... and you've done that with one click of a cellphone camera.

Just stop. Please and thank you.