Confessions of a Lip Product Addict

Hello, my name is Grumpy F., and I am addicted to lip products.

Lipstick.
Lip gloss.
Lip balm.
Lip stain.
Lip shine.

I can't resist. In fact, this morning, I looked in my purse. Here's what I found:

1. Stila Long Wear Lip Color in coquette.
2. Stila Long Wear Lip Color in rendezvous.
3. Victoria's Secret Smooth Talk Creamy Lip Color Palette (5 shades).
4. Smashbox O-Gloss.
5. Smashbox Lip Brilliance- Transparencies (3 shades).
6. Revlon Color Stay in Fabulous Fig.
7. Bare Escentuals Buxom Lips in Roxy.
8. Revlon ColorStay Mineral Lipglaze in Forever Raisin.
9. Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss in Cherry Bomb.
10. Delux Beauty Kiss It! lip gloss palette (6 shades).

ALL. IN. ONE. PURSE.

But wait... are you getting this? Those are just the ones I had in my purse. That doesn't even account for all the others in my makeup drawer and in other purses:

1. Bare Escentuals Buxom Lips Full Color in 2 additional shades.
2. Revlon Color Stay in 2 additional shades.
3. Revlon ColorStay Mineral Lipglaze in 2 additional shades.
4. Stila Lip Glaze in 2 shades.
5. Clinique Long Last Long Shine Lipstick in at least 3 shades.
6. several lip balms, including Burt's Bees Shimmers in 3 shades.
7. a couple of lip stains.

I have a sickness.

If I stopped buying new lip products for the next 3 years, I still wouldn't run out (except that the ones I have would be 'old and gross;' and therefore, I would need to buy more).

I don't know what's wrong with me. I need to use what I have before I buy anymore.

Perhaps, a good idea would be to carry a palette of shades with me that I already own. That way, when I see a new product, I won't be as tempted to buy it.

Yeah. Right. Let's go with that.




BTW, thanks for the supportive comments for the previous post. You're the greatest!


[photo credit] Anyaka. "kiss_lips." Anyaka's photostream. 13 Feb 2006. 13 Nov 2008. http://flickr.com/photos/anyaka/99418256/

Grumpy Helpful Hints- The Bling Edition

If your jewelry armoire is overflowing, stop buying friggin' jewelry already! And stop having parties where people sell jewelry. And stop going to parties for people who booked a party at your party where people sell jewelry. Enough already.



This hint is brought to you by husbands who are tired of all your jewelry, as well as the parties where they have to get lost for a few hours.

A Shoe Quest and Proof That I Named This Blog Correctly...

1. I'm looking for a pair of slingbacks, kind of like these, but I want them in green. Not "moss," not "neon lime," just a nice, muted, light green. I'd even go faux croc texture, if the color works. Maybe a lower heel, too, but that's not a deal-breaker.

Yes, I've already perused DSW, Macy's, Von Maur, local department stores, and all of Zappos, but I'm not finding what I want.

Suggestions?

I just bought these over the weekend (in dark brown patent)... in a department store... on sale. Love them. They're even "comfy!"

2. Stayed in a hotel over the weekend.

First night= peaceful and blissful. (imagine a celestial chorus sound here)

Second night= apparently, elephants stayed in the room one floor above us. Elephants or maybe toddlers who ran and jumped A LOT.

I could go into this huge tirade about how annoying it is when people don't consider anyone else but themselves, not even for a second considering that someone might want to be asleep at 11:30pm, and how I make my kids be super-dee-duper quiet whenever we're in a hotel, and since when is "having kids" an excuse to be rude and insensitive, since I have also lived through those ages and know that you CAN make it work... and let me say it was tough, but I also learned to request rooms on the first floor and away from people who might be disturbed by the slightest noise, etc....

...but I won't go off on that tirade. Nope. Did I mention that the noise started at 9:30pm and continued through the night? And that I think it stopped around 4:00am, but then started again at 7:30am? And did I also mention that, even though I am not THAT person, I also called the front desk, because it was so loud? Which leads to...

3. What is up with parents who insist on taking their young children to restaurants after 9:00 pm on a weekend and then allow said young children to run around the restaurant screaming and knocking people over... and then said young children start crying loudly because they're tired and just want to go home to bed...

...did I mention they annoy me? and why the hell did I spend so much frigging money on babysitters when my kids were young so that I could go out for some "adult time?" Apparently, that wasn't necessary?!?! Is it just me? I mean, are babysitters out of style? There are safe babysitters where I live-- as in boys and girls who take babysitting classes and even CPR classes to get certified. I just don't get it.

Gah. I am that old grumpy lady who hates everyone, aren't I? Well, at least I'll be wearing some sweet shoes amongst all the hatin'.

A Grumpy Vacation Pit Stop to Dave's World...

What do YOU want from your friendly gas station/Subway/local restaurant, conveniently located alongside an interstate in the middle of a very rural area? Looking for a cell phone-car charger? Got it. How about some marshmallows? Yep. Restrooms chock full of condoms? Of course! Even in the Ladies room! Funyuns? You betcha. No-Doz? Absotively, posolutely!An ice cream bar for the road? Who doesn't want some sugar for the road? This is Dave's World... and it doesn't stop there.

How about the best mullet you've ever seen? (If the dude sporting the 'do hadn't looked a little deranged, I might have asked him if I could take his picture... but alas, he looked a little deranged.) Within 30 seconds of us pulling off the highway to stop for a sandwich, Mullet Man walked in. As soon as he left, the runner-up for best mullet entered. It was mullet heaven in this place! Super business-like up front, and all party in the back. Mullet #1 put "Billy Ray Cyrus circa 1992" to shame. Maybe I'll get ambitious this weekend and draw a picture of these men, seeing as how I have no photographic evidence.

But was this the very, very best that "Dave's World" had to offer? Au contraire, mon frere. I submit that it was not.

How about decorative testicles? In HOT PINK, BLUE, TAN, and BLACK. You know... in case you want to hang them from your rearview mirror or your trailer hitch (had to look up the name of that... envy my mad Google skillz!). Okay, so I was too shy to take a picture of these. Plus Youngest Daughter was with me, and I have to pretend to be a grown-up around her.

While I'm sure that decorative testicles are great revenue-generators for Dave's World, I would probably rethink their strategic placement... smack dab across from the Subway booths. 'Cause personally? I'm not accustomed to viewing multicolored "sacks" while munching down on some of Jared's favorite meals. That particular product placement is pretty brazen, if you ask me.

So, I guess you could say that, in more than one way, Dave's World has got balls.

A HodgePodge of Nothing Remotely Related...

I don't have one specific topic for today, so here are the thoughts that have been crossing my mind lately...

I think my mirror-image is more attractive than my real image. My face is ever so slightly asymmetrical, and it definitely appears to be better looking in the mirror. This is the reason that I can be fully satisfied with how I look while I'm in front of the mirror and getting ready, and so completely horrified when I see myself in pictures. Perhaps I will invent a device that only allows people to see my mirror-image.... or else I will just walk around with a bag over my head for the rest of my life. Said bag, of course, would be square and purple.

next

I know how Harry Potter ends. And I'm not telling ANYONE. ;-)

next

These are my cute new shoes. They go really well with my suit that has super long pants. I loved that the peep toes show my perfectly nicely adequately pedicured toes today. Or something like that.

Finally, She Posts The Prom Picture Challenge

My friend, -R-, posted a challenge to fellow bloggers. The challenge, should we choose to take it, was to post our prom picture(s). I'm late to the game, but what else is new?

So, here we go:


Prom #1

This was my junior prom. The date was my boyfriend at the time... lovingly referred to by my family and close friends as the Psycho Boyfriend From Hell. I'd explain, but that's fodder for another post or two... or two hundred.

Note the lovely, purple, homemade dress that made me look about 10 sizes bigger than I actually was. Why THANK YOU! Yes. As a teenage girl, I would absolutely LOVE to have something that hides my natural waist line. Who wouldn't?!?! Mr. PBFH had to wear a white tux jacket and black pants... because that's what James Bond always wore. O-kaaaay.

See how the lovely purple, homemade dress matches my lovely, purple blockhead? Luckily, my Bride of Frankenstein hairstyle is somewhat obscured in the picture by the classy lion pride painting in the background.

Prom #2

This was my senior prom. At the time, I had recently broken up with PBFH and was hoping to have a good time with some friends. Good Friend Since the 2nd Grade asked me to the prom. I loved this guy to death... as a friend. We had such a blast at the prom!

Note the fabulous mermaid-like structure to that dress... another handmade dress. Actually, now that I think about it, most of the girls I knew wanted a handmade/homemade dress, so that they could have something original. Hmmm. Yep. I was the only mermaid dress at the prom.

And the best part of the dress... well, I had gone in for several fittings of the dress with the girl who made it. It fit like a glove. Perfectly! Yeah... like a glove that won't allow you to SIT. DOWN. Not even to get into your date's car. So, I had to shimmy it up to my hips just to get into his car. Now THAT's class, my babies!

Oh, and I blocked most of it out with my lovely, purple blockhead, but yes... I actually wore a banana clip in my hair. To the prom. I'm telling you, kids... with me, it's All-Fashion-All-The-Time!

So, yes, we had a really good time at the prom. After that, it got very awkward. Sometimes, when you're not sure how you feel about someone you've been friends with for a long time, situations become confusing. I'm not going into any details, other than it didn't end well. Pretty much my fault, and I'm not proud of that. Let's just say, I hoped that by ignoring him, our friendship could go back to the way it was before. Like that was ever going to happen. *sigh*

Well, there you have it. Midwest Prom o' The 80s. No one promised it would be pretty. ;-)