A Roundabout Message to a Pig

Let's get a few things out of the way, shall we? I am not currently, nor have I ever been, a militant feminist. I have nothing against them... I'm just not one. I'm also not a man-hater, nor am I unrealistic when it comes to the behavior of men. I happen to be married to a very "manly" man, but one who is also extremely courteous and sensitive to the feelings of his wife and the other women around him.

I. AM. LUCKY.

I know this, and I am extremely grateful. Believe me.

However, I have daughters, and it pains me that we still live in a world where this guy is allowed to share his views. His neanderthal and highly piggish views. (I promised myself I'd keep the language clean, so that's all I can do at this point. Sorry.)

I'm not going to add his name to this post, because I don't want to give him anymore web hits than he deserves.

Because really? I'm doing everything I can on all fronts to raise my daughters to have healthy images about themselves... to know that their worth on this planet is more about their brains and their hearts than anything else. They are beautiful girls, but that means nothing in the end.

And as a sign of protest, I just might tell them we should take a week off of shaving our legs this summer. ;-)

Open Letter Regarding Email Ads

Dear People Responsible for Ads in Web Email:

I get it.

One Simple Rule to Obey for a Flat Belly. Got it.

Done.

PLEASE, PLEASE make those ads go away!

I don't want to read my email anymore. I'm tired of seeing a flabby belly next to the emails my sister sends me... the emails my mother sends me... the emails Capitol One sends me!

Today, it was cellulite-filled thighs and flabby bingo wings. I'm familiar with these looks. I've seen cellulite before. While I'm sure you're trying to impress me with some major cottage cheese looks here... I'm not BUYING IT.

Seriously? Have we forgotten how to purchase other ads? I know for a fact that my email content does not discuss how much I wish I could obliterate my cellulite or lose weight and flatten my belly... so don't go there. My email content is not to blame for these ads!!!

This is not a cellulite-related phobia of mine. I'm just TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO LOOK AT IT ALL.

BTW, when people tire of your ads, they do. not. buy. your. products.

That is all.

Sincerely,
Grumpy Frump


p.s. if it were a simple change to another web-based email, I'd do it. Only ONE of my numerous email accounts is free of the awfulness that comprises these ads. And no... I'm not discriminating against people who have flabby bellies/thighs/arms. I'm not exactly cellulite-free myself. So don't take it there, either. Just. Stop.

More Bloggy Love

Okay, first... I have good news (for me anyway). I have a job change coming up in the fall. Color me tres excited!!! It also means that my poor Grumpy Frump blog will not be as neglected as it is currently. YAY!!!!

Second, this blog recommendation comes by way of Whoorl, whom I love. And now I love this blogger that Whoorl loves, too. The Paper Bag Princess is my kind of people.

Here's Whoorl's ode to the Paper Bag Princess.

And be sure to read pudding and the paper bag princess! I know you'll love her, too.

A Blogger You Should Love

http://tinyartdirector.blogspot.com

Hilarious, precocious... and very much what my life was like about 15 years ago, except my Tiny Art Director was a Tiny Music Director:

"No, mommy. The words should go like this!" "Stop playing that song! I HATE that song!" "Oh, but I love THIS song!"

Ah.... memories.

ENJOY Tiny Art Director. And buy the book when it comes out. :-)

The Fruit Bully

Attention, sellers and distributors of fruit cups, fruit salads, fruit medleys, et cetera, et cetera.

CANTELOUPE spoils the flavors of the other fruits. SOME people detest canteloupe. Please stop adding canteloupe. It bullies the strawberries and pineapple into tasting like canteloupe. I do not like canteloupe.

That is all.

Say It Aint So Fido

Do you have dogs? I have three. Seriously. Who needs three dogs? But that's not the point of this post... that's for another post, another time. But I digress...

One of my pet peeves about our dogs is taking them outside to do their business. Actually, only 2 of the 3 go outside (the youngest is still too young and too little. He has puppy pads. THOSE are so much fun and smell absolutely delightful. Yeah.). Oops... digressing again.

We still don't have a fence (even though the Farm Boy insists it's on its way), so we have to take the bigger dogs out on leashes. That's not so much a problem on nice weather days, but we can usually count nice weather days on one hand around here.

I don't have a problem with taking the dogs out when they stop, find a quick spot, do their business, and then run back in. But they're DOGS! Is there a dog on this planet that can find a potty* spot on the first try? I think not.

Nope. Dogs have to sniff a spot and know that it's not good enough. Then they have to sniff another spot 5 inches away... still not good enough. Keep looking. 20 minutes later, they return to the first spot they sniffed which has miraculously turned into a good potty spot. Ooooo-kie dokie.

And then there's me... shouting at them... "just do it already!" like that's going to help them. Hell, a mild breeze that barely ruffles leaves will distract those freaking dogs... and then the good potty spot isn't good enough anymore. Start ALL over.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why it takes so long to find the right place to do their business. Maybe I'll call Cesar Millan to enlighten me or something.

SO anyhoodles... imagine my surprise today as I headed into a Womens Room - a rather large restroom with about 40 or 50 different stalls- and discovered as I walked past stall after stall after stall after stall - I was being picky about which stall to use! I remember thinking... "Oh. My. God. I'm acting like my dogs!"

It wasn't like I poked my head in each one to check for cleanliness, nor were any of them too close to the main restroom door. In fact, they were all extremely clean and set pretty far away from the door. No, I just kept walking and looking for the "right door." And I have no idea why. Considering a person might be in that stall for what totals less than 20 or 30 seconds... does it really matter?

My dogs are little, very yappy, and they think they're bigger and tougher than they really are.

I'm barely 5'4", somewhat mouthy, and... oh crap! Perhaps there are some similarities here.

If I end up on a website that shows side by side pics of owners and dogs that resemble each other, I'm going to be very distraught.


*No, I haven't gone all prim and proper on you. I usually only use the word "potty" when I'm talking to my young nieces or nephew, but I remembered halfway through posting that SOME words that may or may not be synonyms for "potty" tend to bring some bizarre traffic and searches. So, "potty" it is!

Beauty vs Talent

So, I haven't blogged for a while. Sorry about that. I'm sure the two readers I still have left were wondering. ;-)

Here's my beef of the week:

The world is all a-buzzin with the fantastic news story out of the UK of this wonderful singer who shocked the world with her amazing voice. I can't embed the video, but here's a link.

As a singer and a vocal coach, I will say that yes, she really is quite good.

What has me outraged is the shock on everyone's face that she's so good. WHY are they all shocked? Because she's 47? Because of the way she looks? Because she's never been kissed? What does that have to do with the quality of her voice????

We have so conditioned ourselves that only extremely beautiful people are worth our time, that it shocks us when people who are not exactly attractive have beauty within them. I'm reminded of a time during the 80s when the group Heart was on their "comeback," but everyone was outraged at how much weight Ann Wilson had gained. They draped her in black and hid her in the shadows of music videos. Funny, but her voice still sounded spectacular to me!

Think about how many times you've watched American Idol or similar shows, and how much emphasis is placed on singers' looks. Yes, I know. We're a visual culture. But think how many incredible musicians and singers are going unnoticed because of the way they look.

If you think I'm overreacting... watch the video again. Watch the faces of the judges and the audience. They were laughing at her before she sang. Their faces were actually smug.

I hope Susan Boyle gets a fabulous recording contract... because regardless of her looks, hairstyle, eyebrows, weight... she will have a voice that is worth our time.