I'm in Earworm Hell. Please. Make. It. Stop.
Was sick over the weekend. Daughter #2 decided to comfort me by snuggling with me. Nice thought, but I didn't have the heart to tell her she wiggles too much when she snuggles. Ordinarily... that's not a problem at all. But Sickly McSickerson (as I've come to be known lately) doesn't appreciate wigglers.
But that's not why I'm in hell. No, I wish that was all it was.
You see, Daughter #2 started channel surfing. And lo, it crept upon me so suddenly, I didn't even see it coming. Yes, it is the nightmare/cult classic that is Grease 2. And she begged me to watch it with her. I rolled over and tried to sleep to no avail.
Oh, sure. If you watch that cinematic feat of 1982 with the volume turned down, it's not so bad. If you listen to any of the parts that Lorna Luft sings, or even Michelle Pfeifer and Adrian Zmed (yes, THAT Adrian Zmed) in some songs, you'll be okay. But God help you once Maxwell Caulfield opens his mouth. With the volume on mute, he's a joy. Volume up? Not so much. Or Maureen Teefy. *shudder* Actors? Yes. Yes, they are. Singers. No. Not even close.
Here's the funny thing about Grease 2. Some of the songs are entertaining. We're not talking the caliber of the original Grease, but still entertaining. SOME.
Like, "Reproduction." Funny song. I might even be able to laugh at "Let's Do It For Our Country," but Maureen Teefy's voice couldn't even be helped along in post-production. Seriously? You can't make her sing in tune with all the fancy doo-dads and gadgets in the recording studio? Yikes!
As for the rest of the score? Ouch. Eeek. Gah. And because they are so bad... they stick in your head FOREVER!!!! (wait, I think I need another exclamation point or two)!! Watch that movie. I dare you not to get "Cool Rider" or "Who's That Guy" or "Score" stuck in your head. Try not to laugh during the pseudo-serious dream/heaven sequence with Michelle Pfeifer and Maxwell Caulfield. I double-dog dare you!
What's scarier is that you will be singing along with your earworm, and you won't even realize it until you're caught. I walked through the office yesterday singing, "Who's That Guy, on that motorcycle... what would they say if they knew it was Michael." Busted. Laughter erupting all around me. Those are HORRIBLE lyrics! Ack! And I was singing them! OUT LOUD!
Must go bury my head in the snow (due to lack of sand) for shame.
Showing posts with label earworms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label earworms. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Open Letter to Ms. Carrie Underwood
Dear Ms. Underwood,
Although I'm not a country music fan per se, I do enjoy listening to your music. I think you have a rather pleasant voice, and I don't think you've lowered yourself to some of the shenanigans others in your age group seem so intent upon pulling off. For that fact alone, you should be commended.
HOWEVER, there's something that needs your attention tout suite. And that is your "Before He Cheats" song. Oh, sure it's clever... all girl power and whatnot. But for the love of Bob, do we have to listen to it every time a radio is playing??!?
I walked into an office yesterday, and one of the secretaries had her radio on. Guess what was playing? Yes, it was you and that song. Later, I stopped in the grocery store, and there you were on the muzak roll. After frantically running away, I hopped in my car and turned the key in the ignition. Holy Nightmare, Batman! There it was again! On MY radio. I wasn't even listening to a country station... now that song has invaded pop stations, too!
So, fine. I can walk around the earth with cotton stuffed into my ears and drown out every instance of your song playing... well, no. I can't. You see, now it's stuck IN MY BRAIN. And it won't leave. I even tried drilling into my temple to make it stop... God, please make it stop. That didn't work either.
Do you understand my plight? I like you. Really, I do. I like some of your other songs even. Just not that song. So, if you would be a peach, could you please just ask every radio station/TV show to stop playing it? Oh, and while you're at it, please outlaw any teenage girls from singing that song at a high school/middle school talent show. 'Cause... No. They just should not. For my part, I just won't step foot in a karaoke bar, because preventing that song from being sung there would be too much to ask of you.
Thanks for listening. I know you're a really kind, outgoing person and you'll really take this into your most sincere consideration.
Earnestly,
Grumpy K. Frump
Although I'm not a country music fan per se, I do enjoy listening to your music. I think you have a rather pleasant voice, and I don't think you've lowered yourself to some of the shenanigans others in your age group seem so intent upon pulling off. For that fact alone, you should be commended.
HOWEVER, there's something that needs your attention tout suite. And that is your "Before He Cheats" song. Oh, sure it's clever... all girl power and whatnot. But for the love of Bob, do we have to listen to it every time a radio is playing??!?
I walked into an office yesterday, and one of the secretaries had her radio on. Guess what was playing? Yes, it was you and that song. Later, I stopped in the grocery store, and there you were on the muzak roll. After frantically running away, I hopped in my car and turned the key in the ignition. Holy Nightmare, Batman! There it was again! On MY radio. I wasn't even listening to a country station... now that song has invaded pop stations, too!
So, fine. I can walk around the earth with cotton stuffed into my ears and drown out every instance of your song playing... well, no. I can't. You see, now it's stuck IN MY BRAIN. And it won't leave. I even tried drilling into my temple to make it stop... God, please make it stop. That didn't work either.
Do you understand my plight? I like you. Really, I do. I like some of your other songs even. Just not that song. So, if you would be a peach, could you please just ask every radio station/TV show to stop playing it? Oh, and while you're at it, please outlaw any teenage girls from singing that song at a high school/middle school talent show. 'Cause... No. They just should not. For my part, I just won't step foot in a karaoke bar, because preventing that song from being sung there would be too much to ask of you.
Thanks for listening. I know you're a really kind, outgoing person and you'll really take this into your most sincere consideration.
Earnestly,
Grumpy K. Frump
Friday, March 23, 2007
Songs To Which I Cannot Stop Listening*
Stefanie and Poppy did this... as I started to reply to their lists, I thought I'd just steal borrow their idea for my own post. Duh.
What I noted to Stefanie is that the majority of the songs running on repeat all day long in my head are from Seussical The Musical, as that was what I attended for three straight evenings last weekend. I won't leave you stricken with the same affliction by linking or supplying any lyrics. Take my word for it... my cubicle-mates are pretty tired of hearing me hum something about Horton the Elephant.
Additionally, like Poppy, I am incapable of sticking to five songs, so here we go...
1. I am still loving Amy Winehouse's You Know I'm No Good, even though the lyrics are lame. The drums and the bass line enticed me when I first heard it, and then the bari sax really grabbed me... love it, love it, love it. I do really like her voice (very old school soul/R&B), but wish the lyrics had a bit more substance.
2. Madeline Peyroux's Dance Me To The End Of Love- I can't imagine ever getting sick of this song or her amazing voice. She is Billie Holliday-esque without sounding like a wannabe. Actually, I heart her entire CD, "Perfect World," but I think Dance Me... is the best song. This gives me hope that good, old standard styles won't disappear behind the techno, indie, alternative, hip hop... which are all good, too... I just want choices, people. Choices. That's all I ask.
3. I'm usually sick of songs I hear on the radio, so I don't listen to it much... but I do love Mat Kearney's Nothing Left To Lose. I loved the song when I first heard it, and still liked it after our local radio stations decided to play it to death. What kept me listening, though, was an interview Mat did with one local station while he was in town for a concert. Unfortunately, I couldn't go the concert, but I did think he was one really cool guy who can sing live well.
4. I should be sick of Five For Fighting's The Riddle, but I'm not. It sticks in my head, but it's not like the typical earworm. As much as I usually pass over lyrics and go straight for the quality of the music, The Riddle's lyrics hooked me immediately. Oh! and get this, I heard a middle school chorus perform this song... and I still like it. To me, that's the ultimate test. If a school chorus can sing it and not ruin the song, it's a good song, right?
5. Lily Allen's Smile- this song makes me want to walk down the sidewalk through adverse conditions and come out smiling anyway... just kidding. It really does make me smile, though. Plus, I heard it in one time in one of those stores thathypnotize market to the 15-23 year old demographic... and I was all, "Hey! I love this song! It's my jam!" Right in front of my teenage kids. It produced the desired effect: "Oh my God, mother! Stop dancing!" ;-)
6. Did you see the Divine Secrets/YaYa's movie? Even if you didn't... it has a truly outstanding soundtrack... very eclectic, which is what I love. However, I think the best song on the whole CD is Lauryn Hill's Selah. Selah is the name of her only daughter, and Hill wrote it for her. If I need something peaceful and reflective, this is the song I go for immediately. I'm listening to it right now, and it's taking me forever to finish this paragraph.
7. I adore Fastball. I have both "All The Pain Money Can Buy" and "The Harsh Light of Day." This is the first group ever where I felt I would actually listen to the entire CD from start to finish without skipping any songs... and then again with the next CD. I keep trying to pick a favorite, but I can't. I can say that I listen to at least one Fastball song every day.
8. Call me a bandwagon jumper, but I still can't get enough of Fall Out Boy's This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race. Even that goofy gym rat commercial for the cell phones hasn't ruined it for me.
9. The Shiny Teeth song, of course! Am I weird for singing this song in my head while I brush my teeth? Of course not.
10. There is a song with a girl's name as the title that was wildly popular in its day... and it's my name. I don't listen to this song by choice. No, no. That would be weird and strangely narcissistic, I think. The reason I can't stop listening to it is because, at least once a week**, some damn fool will sing it to me. LIKE I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. Gah!!!
I don't mind it when the Farm Boy sings it to me. That's fine. He has the golden ticket to do so (it's called a marriage license). Every one else... especially those who substitute their own lyrics (yes, I'm addressing you, my dear siblings)*** can just stop it. Stop it right now.
That's my list for this time period. I like this idea, because music is such a huge part of my life... and I have constant earworms. Posting a list such as this could easily be a regular feature. Yay!
*I follow rules; yes, I do. ;-)
**I'm completely serious about this. At least once a week!!! You'd think people could be a little more original, ya know???
***They don't read the blog, but maybe they'll hear the request subliminally or something. I'm perfectly happy with them not reading the blog. In fact, I'd rather they not read it.
What I noted to Stefanie is that the majority of the songs running on repeat all day long in my head are from Seussical The Musical, as that was what I attended for three straight evenings last weekend. I won't leave you stricken with the same affliction by linking or supplying any lyrics. Take my word for it... my cubicle-mates are pretty tired of hearing me hum something about Horton the Elephant.
Additionally, like Poppy, I am incapable of sticking to five songs, so here we go...
1. I am still loving Amy Winehouse's You Know I'm No Good, even though the lyrics are lame. The drums and the bass line enticed me when I first heard it, and then the bari sax really grabbed me... love it, love it, love it. I do really like her voice (very old school soul/R&B), but wish the lyrics had a bit more substance.
2. Madeline Peyroux's Dance Me To The End Of Love- I can't imagine ever getting sick of this song or her amazing voice. She is Billie Holliday-esque without sounding like a wannabe. Actually, I heart her entire CD, "Perfect World," but I think Dance Me... is the best song. This gives me hope that good, old standard styles won't disappear behind the techno, indie, alternative, hip hop... which are all good, too... I just want choices, people. Choices. That's all I ask.
3. I'm usually sick of songs I hear on the radio, so I don't listen to it much... but I do love Mat Kearney's Nothing Left To Lose. I loved the song when I first heard it, and still liked it after our local radio stations decided to play it to death. What kept me listening, though, was an interview Mat did with one local station while he was in town for a concert. Unfortunately, I couldn't go the concert, but I did think he was one really cool guy who can sing live well.
4. I should be sick of Five For Fighting's The Riddle, but I'm not. It sticks in my head, but it's not like the typical earworm. As much as I usually pass over lyrics and go straight for the quality of the music, The Riddle's lyrics hooked me immediately. Oh! and get this, I heard a middle school chorus perform this song... and I still like it. To me, that's the ultimate test. If a school chorus can sing it and not ruin the song, it's a good song, right?
5. Lily Allen's Smile- this song makes me want to walk down the sidewalk through adverse conditions and come out smiling anyway... just kidding. It really does make me smile, though. Plus, I heard it in one time in one of those stores that
6. Did you see the Divine Secrets/YaYa's movie? Even if you didn't... it has a truly outstanding soundtrack... very eclectic, which is what I love. However, I think the best song on the whole CD is Lauryn Hill's Selah. Selah is the name of her only daughter, and Hill wrote it for her. If I need something peaceful and reflective, this is the song I go for immediately. I'm listening to it right now, and it's taking me forever to finish this paragraph.
7. I adore Fastball. I have both "All The Pain Money Can Buy" and "The Harsh Light of Day." This is the first group ever where I felt I would actually listen to the entire CD from start to finish without skipping any songs... and then again with the next CD. I keep trying to pick a favorite, but I can't. I can say that I listen to at least one Fastball song every day.
8. Call me a bandwagon jumper, but I still can't get enough of Fall Out Boy's This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race. Even that goofy gym rat commercial for the cell phones hasn't ruined it for me.
9. The Shiny Teeth song, of course! Am I weird for singing this song in my head while I brush my teeth? Of course not.
10. There is a song with a girl's name as the title that was wildly popular in its day... and it's my name. I don't listen to this song by choice. No, no. That would be weird and strangely narcissistic, I think. The reason I can't stop listening to it is because, at least once a week**, some damn fool will sing it to me. LIKE I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. Gah!!!
I don't mind it when the Farm Boy sings it to me. That's fine. He has the golden ticket to do so (it's called a marriage license). Every one else... especially those who substitute their own lyrics (yes, I'm addressing you, my dear siblings)*** can just stop it. Stop it right now.
That's my list for this time period. I like this idea, because music is such a huge part of my life... and I have constant earworms. Posting a list such as this could easily be a regular feature. Yay!
*I follow rules; yes, I do. ;-)
**I'm completely serious about this. At least once a week!!! You'd think people could be a little more original, ya know???
***They don't read the blog, but maybe they'll hear the request subliminally or something. I'm perfectly happy with them not reading the blog. In fact, I'd rather they not read it.
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