Dear Airlines:
If you continue to charge passengers out the wazoo for travel, they will no longer fly. I understand you're looking for more revenue sources, but when people opt for a train or their cars instead of flying, YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE EVEN MORE REVENUE. Capiche?
Fine. Charge for checked baggage. I don't care. But carry-on luggage too? And maybe even the sad excuse for a lavatory? Ridiculous. I call B.S.
You want more revenue? Raise your rates. Don't nickel and dime your passengers.
Thanks for listening,
Grumpy Frump
Showing posts with label letters to people who won't read them. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letters to people who won't read them. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A Letter to Attention Whores
Dear Young Women of the World,
Please stop taking videos of yourselves doing sexy times with your boyfriends.
At the most, you'll land a reality show on E! -- and then people will be talking about you a few years later when you are in rehab. ONLY because you are in rehab.
No one will remember anything intelligent you have to say. No one will remember anything you might have invented. No one will remember any 'good' you might have done for the earth or humanity. No one will remember anything but your lousy sex tape.
You are undermining centuries of women who fought tooth and nail to overcome female oppression... and you've done that with one click of a cellphone camera.
Just stop. Please and thank you.
Please stop taking videos of yourselves doing sexy times with your boyfriends.
At the most, you'll land a reality show on E! -- and then people will be talking about you a few years later when you are in rehab. ONLY because you are in rehab.
No one will remember anything intelligent you have to say. No one will remember anything you might have invented. No one will remember any 'good' you might have done for the earth or humanity. No one will remember anything but your lousy sex tape.
You are undermining centuries of women who fought tooth and nail to overcome female oppression... and you've done that with one click of a cellphone camera.
Just stop. Please and thank you.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Open Letter Regarding Email Ads
Dear People Responsible for Ads in Web Email:
I get it.
One Simple Rule to Obey for a Flat Belly. Got it.
Done.
PLEASE, PLEASE make those ads go away!
I don't want to read my email anymore. I'm tired of seeing a flabby belly next to the emails my sister sends me... the emails my mother sends me... the emails Capitol One sends me!
Today, it was cellulite-filled thighs and flabby bingo wings. I'm familiar with these looks. I've seen cellulite before. While I'm sure you're trying to impress me with some major cottage cheese looks here... I'm not BUYING IT.
Seriously? Have we forgotten how to purchase other ads? I know for a fact that my email content does not discuss how much I wish I could obliterate my cellulite or lose weight and flatten my belly... so don't go there. My email content is not to blame for these ads!!!
This is not a cellulite-related phobia of mine. I'm just TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO LOOK AT IT ALL.
BTW, when people tire of your ads, they do. not. buy. your. products.
That is all.
Sincerely,
Grumpy Frump
p.s. if it were a simple change to another web-based email, I'd do it. Only ONE of my numerous email accounts is free of the awfulness that comprises these ads. And no... I'm not discriminating against people who have flabby bellies/thighs/arms. I'm not exactly cellulite-free myself. So don't take it there, either. Just. Stop.
I get it.
One Simple Rule to Obey for a Flat Belly. Got it.
Done.
PLEASE, PLEASE make those ads go away!
I don't want to read my email anymore. I'm tired of seeing a flabby belly next to the emails my sister sends me... the emails my mother sends me... the emails Capitol One sends me!
Today, it was cellulite-filled thighs and flabby bingo wings. I'm familiar with these looks. I've seen cellulite before. While I'm sure you're trying to impress me with some major cottage cheese looks here... I'm not BUYING IT.
Seriously? Have we forgotten how to purchase other ads? I know for a fact that my email content does not discuss how much I wish I could obliterate my cellulite or lose weight and flatten my belly... so don't go there. My email content is not to blame for these ads!!!
This is not a cellulite-related phobia of mine. I'm just TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO LOOK AT IT ALL.
BTW, when people tire of your ads, they do. not. buy. your. products.
That is all.
Sincerely,
Grumpy Frump
p.s. if it were a simple change to another web-based email, I'd do it. Only ONE of my numerous email accounts is free of the awfulness that comprises these ads. And no... I'm not discriminating against people who have flabby bellies/thighs/arms. I'm not exactly cellulite-free myself. So don't take it there, either. Just. Stop.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Flirting with Over The Top Promotion
Dear Heather Locklear,
Since the commercial for your up and coming TV movie, Flirting with 40, seems to be inescapable at the moment (seriously? why are they advertising Lifetime movies on non-Lifetime channels?!?! multiple times an hour?!?!), I feel it is necessary to point out a few things:
1. Terry McMillan already did this story... and then made it into a movie. But the "been there, done that" factor is probably not your fault.
2. I'm not sure what's going on with your face in this particular movie, but it is possible you are overdoing the cosmetic/plastic surgery/restylane injections or something. Or... have you been stung by a bee all over your face? Your face is starting to not look like your face. Please stop whatever it is you're doing. You're beautiful, even if you get wrinkles.
3. We were totally Team Locklear in that whole Denise Richards fiasco. Totally. We're anti-Richards all the way. So, this note isn't a slam on you. You've been fab in our books for a while, and we're hoping that the whole DUI thing is all a huge misunderstanding (even though it doesn't sound like it will).
So, thanks for listening. Also, kudos on the co-star in that movie. He's almost as hot as the Farm Boy. ;-)
p.s. Since I began writing this post, that commercial has aired AGAIN. And AGAIN. I hope you get a check every time it airs. SOMEONE has to benefit from that many commercials, and I'm sure it's not me.
Since the commercial for your up and coming TV movie, Flirting with 40, seems to be inescapable at the moment (seriously? why are they advertising Lifetime movies on non-Lifetime channels?!?! multiple times an hour?!?!), I feel it is necessary to point out a few things:
1. Terry McMillan already did this story... and then made it into a movie. But the "been there, done that" factor is probably not your fault.
2. I'm not sure what's going on with your face in this particular movie, but it is possible you are overdoing the cosmetic/plastic surgery/restylane injections or something. Or... have you been stung by a bee all over your face? Your face is starting to not look like your face. Please stop whatever it is you're doing. You're beautiful, even if you get wrinkles.
3. We were totally Team Locklear in that whole Denise Richards fiasco. Totally. We're anti-Richards all the way. So, this note isn't a slam on you. You've been fab in our books for a while, and we're hoping that the whole DUI thing is all a huge misunderstanding (even though it doesn't sound like it will).
So, thanks for listening. Also, kudos on the co-star in that movie. He's almost as hot as the Farm Boy. ;-)
p.s. Since I began writing this post, that commercial has aired AGAIN. And AGAIN. I hope you get a check every time it airs. SOMEONE has to benefit from that many commercials, and I'm sure it's not me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
