Open Letter to A Wireless Company...

... whose name may or may not rhyme with Print.

Dear Print,

When I cancelled my services with you in mid-October, I thought I was done with you. Done with your lame, cryptic bills that even nuclear scientists and calculus scholars shake their heads at. Done with your pathetic customer service reps who fail to respond to the simplest of questions. Done with being charged outrageously for text messaging that we didn't even have. I THOUGHT.

After arguing in October with one of your lame customer service folks for 30 minutes on the phone regarding WHY I was cancelling... and really? If I say I want nothing more to do with you, do I NEED to go on for 30 minutes relating the exact same thing? No, I think not... the process was finally explained about porting my numbers over to my new company (whose bills I love, btw, and whose customer service people actually have intelligent conversation capabilities). We discussed my final bill, which was paid prior to the numbers finally being ported out. I was suspicious that the relationship was really considered "over," but you reassured me it was.

Thinking it couldn't possibly be over, a month later, November 12 actually, I called your customer service number again... since I hadn't heard "boo" from your company, I was wondering if it really was over. Additionally, I was certain there were at least SOME charges still left over. When I called customer service on that lovely November day, I was told, "No, your account balance is zero. You owe nothing more." Still uncertain, I asked if there would be any more charges, yet you told me no. I asked for some kind of final document acknowledging the finality of it all and was given a bit of a run-around, but then reassured again that this was the end.

I knew it was too good to be true. Over a month later (today to be exact), I receive a collection notice from you, Print, stating that I still owe $176. When, in my fury, I called your (lame) customer service, first I was put on hold for over 10 minutes. Then you disconnected me. So I called back. Then I spoke with a floor supervisor who proceeded to tell me that I was charged from October 15 through November 7 for three phones that we weren't even using, because you don't just cancel phones willy-nilly. Oh, no! That would be too easy. So, you charged me for three phones I didn't use because that's when the monthly billing cycle ended. Beyond how ridiculous that really is, Print, let me say this: you suck. You suck big time.

When I asked this floor supervisor why my November phone call to customer service didn't tell me I still owed $176. She tells me that it's possible that the billing cycle, which ended on November 7, hadn't posted yet to the accounts that the customer service reps can see. So it's possible that he couldn't see that I still owed nearly two hundred dollars. What a bunch of malarkey. Oh, but we're not done there.

NOW, this floor supervisor throws another one at me. I ask her for a final statement, because I never received that statement in November that she assures me was sent. Here's what she says (be sure to read this part carefully), "I'm sorry, but I can't send you a copy of that final statement. I want to, but the system won't allow me to, because your account was cancelled in mid-October." WTF? My account was cancelled, so they can't send me anymore information, but I still have to pay for something I didn't use while my account was cancelled? Again, WTF?

So, explain to me, Print, why the hell I should blindly pay this collection notice, which btw is probably affecting my credit rating thank you very much you pieces of crap, without any kind of detailed billing? Why should I pay for something I didn't even use?

I'll tell you this much... I'll probably pay it, because I am a law-abiding citizen, and I don't think it's worth the fight. But know this, Print, I will be telling EVERYONE I know about this wonderful situation you've decided to put me through. Oh, and our business is in the RFP process currently for wireless carriers. I can't wait to tell them my story. I'm pretty sure I know whose RFP will be in the garbage file.

Merry Effing Christmas, Print.

Sincerely,
A Very Disgruntled Ex-Customer

Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakuh!

Wishing you all a joyous holiday season!

Five Thoughts...

1. I have one final on Wednesday, and then I am done with school for this semester. Huzzah. And it should be a really, really easy final. A bigger HUZZAH.

2. One week left of work before Winter Break. A ginormous HUZZAH!

3. How many 'Js' are there in the words, "upgrade you?" Oh, yeah. NONE.

4. Burger King wanted to prove how popular their Whopper is by taking it OFF their menu for a day? Wow. That's genius. Piss off your loyal customers for a day. Good thing I never eat Whoppers, or else I'd have to boycott them. But I never really go to BK anyway, so I guess they don't really care.

5. I was in a minor car accident about 3 weeks ago... just got my vehicle back. I'm glad to have it back because that means I'm no longer paying $180 a week in rental car fees... but I do miss the satellite radio in the rental car. Maybe SOMEONE will get that for me for Christmas (Farm Boy, this means YOU).

That is all.

Snow Day

We're snowed in today... kind of. We had ice and freezing rain first, then snow on top of that, so schools and some businesses closed. I still have to go to my grad class tonight, though. Taking the day off helped, so I was able to put some finishing touches on my final draft of my paper. I can also get some last minute studying done for my exam tonight. Gah. I'll be so glad when this semester is over.

Things are almost getting back to normal around here again. It's odd to see your home and its landmarks on national (and in some cases, international) news sites for days on end. People here are intent on healing, however, so I hope the focus can stay on that instead of the incomprehensible act itself.

On a much, much lighter note... Food Network is awesome. I've been receiving the 12 Days of Cookies emails for the last couple of weeks. I can't wait to try out some of the recipes. If any of them are even minimally successful, I might even post some pictures.

So... QUIZ TIME.

For those of you who celebrate the upcoming holidays, how many of you are:

a) completely finished shopping
b) have mailed or emailed (or posted online) your holiday greetings/cards/pictures/letters.
c) both a and b
d) have almost finished a and/or b
e) have started a and/or b
f) are you kidding? I don't worry about that until the day before the holiday!

Let me know. I'm interested... and I would also say that I am at E. Surprised? You shouldn't be. ;-)

It's Time for Healing...

Just requesting your good thoughts and prayers for the members of my community who were affected by the tragedy at one of our malls today.

Thanks.

Do Not Start THAT Again!

I'm in Earworm Hell. Please. Make. It. Stop.

Was sick over the weekend. Daughter #2 decided to comfort me by snuggling with me. Nice thought, but I didn't have the heart to tell her she wiggles too much when she snuggles. Ordinarily... that's not a problem at all. But Sickly McSickerson (as I've come to be known lately) doesn't appreciate wigglers.

But that's not why I'm in hell. No, I wish that was all it was.

You see, Daughter #2 started channel surfing. And lo, it crept upon me so suddenly, I didn't even see it coming. Yes, it is the nightmare/cult classic that is Grease 2. And she begged me to watch it with her. I rolled over and tried to sleep to no avail.

Oh, sure. If you watch that cinematic feat of 1982 with the volume turned down, it's not so bad. If you listen to any of the parts that Lorna Luft sings, or even Michelle Pfeifer and Adrian Zmed (yes, THAT Adrian Zmed) in some songs, you'll be okay. But God help you once Maxwell Caulfield opens his mouth. With the volume on mute, he's a joy. Volume up? Not so much. Or Maureen Teefy. *shudder* Actors? Yes. Yes, they are. Singers. No. Not even close.

Here's the funny thing about Grease 2. Some of the songs are entertaining. We're not talking the caliber of the original Grease, but still entertaining. SOME.

Like, "Reproduction." Funny song. I might even be able to laugh at "Let's Do It For Our Country," but Maureen Teefy's voice couldn't even be helped along in post-production. Seriously? You can't make her sing in tune with all the fancy doo-dads and gadgets in the recording studio? Yikes!

As for the rest of the score? Ouch. Eeek. Gah. And because they are so bad... they stick in your head FOREVER!!!! (wait, I think I need another exclamation point or two)!! Watch that movie. I dare you not to get "Cool Rider" or "Who's That Guy" or "Score" stuck in your head. Try not to laugh during the pseudo-serious dream/heaven sequence with Michelle Pfeifer and Maxwell Caulfield. I double-dog dare you!

What's scarier is that you will be singing along with your earworm, and you won't even realize it until you're caught. I walked through the office yesterday singing, "Who's That Guy, on that motorcycle... what would they say if they knew it was Michael." Busted. Laughter erupting all around me. Those are HORRIBLE lyrics! Ack! And I was singing them! OUT LOUD!

Must go bury my head in the snow (due to lack of sand) for shame.