Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Open Letter to A Wireless Company...

... whose name may or may not rhyme with Print.

Dear Print,

When I cancelled my services with you in mid-October, I thought I was done with you. Done with your lame, cryptic bills that even nuclear scientists and calculus scholars shake their heads at. Done with your pathetic customer service reps who fail to respond to the simplest of questions. Done with being charged outrageously for text messaging that we didn't even have. I THOUGHT.

After arguing in October with one of your lame customer service folks for 30 minutes on the phone regarding WHY I was cancelling... and really? If I say I want nothing more to do with you, do I NEED to go on for 30 minutes relating the exact same thing? No, I think not... the process was finally explained about porting my numbers over to my new company (whose bills I love, btw, and whose customer service people actually have intelligent conversation capabilities). We discussed my final bill, which was paid prior to the numbers finally being ported out. I was suspicious that the relationship was really considered "over," but you reassured me it was.

Thinking it couldn't possibly be over, a month later, November 12 actually, I called your customer service number again... since I hadn't heard "boo" from your company, I was wondering if it really was over. Additionally, I was certain there were at least SOME charges still left over. When I called customer service on that lovely November day, I was told, "No, your account balance is zero. You owe nothing more." Still uncertain, I asked if there would be any more charges, yet you told me no. I asked for some kind of final document acknowledging the finality of it all and was given a bit of a run-around, but then reassured again that this was the end.

I knew it was too good to be true. Over a month later (today to be exact), I receive a collection notice from you, Print, stating that I still owe $176. When, in my fury, I called your (lame) customer service, first I was put on hold for over 10 minutes. Then you disconnected me. So I called back. Then I spoke with a floor supervisor who proceeded to tell me that I was charged from October 15 through November 7 for three phones that we weren't even using, because you don't just cancel phones willy-nilly. Oh, no! That would be too easy. So, you charged me for three phones I didn't use because that's when the monthly billing cycle ended. Beyond how ridiculous that really is, Print, let me say this: you suck. You suck big time.

When I asked this floor supervisor why my November phone call to customer service didn't tell me I still owed $176. She tells me that it's possible that the billing cycle, which ended on November 7, hadn't posted yet to the accounts that the customer service reps can see. So it's possible that he couldn't see that I still owed nearly two hundred dollars. What a bunch of malarkey. Oh, but we're not done there.

NOW, this floor supervisor throws another one at me. I ask her for a final statement, because I never received that statement in November that she assures me was sent. Here's what she says (be sure to read this part carefully), "I'm sorry, but I can't send you a copy of that final statement. I want to, but the system won't allow me to, because your account was cancelled in mid-October." WTF? My account was cancelled, so they can't send me anymore information, but I still have to pay for something I didn't use while my account was cancelled? Again, WTF?

So, explain to me, Print, why the hell I should blindly pay this collection notice, which btw is probably affecting my credit rating thank you very much you pieces of crap, without any kind of detailed billing? Why should I pay for something I didn't even use?

I'll tell you this much... I'll probably pay it, because I am a law-abiding citizen, and I don't think it's worth the fight. But know this, Print, I will be telling EVERYONE I know about this wonderful situation you've decided to put me through. Oh, and our business is in the RFP process currently for wireless carriers. I can't wait to tell them my story. I'm pretty sure I know whose RFP will be in the garbage file.

Merry Effing Christmas, Print.

A Very Disgruntled Ex-Customer


Sparkling Cipher said...

Ouch. Boo on them. How can they not send you a final bill? Do they really expect someone to pay $176 just because a stranger on the phone threw out that number?

It might not work if you don't have a current account, but can you check your account online? I tried that once for our company with Flingufar.

I use a different company, but their statements confuse me, too. Calls are kind of sorted and totaled in three or four different ways, and I'm not really sure how each one is relevant to what we're billed. I thought about calling customer support to have them explain it, but since we never go over our minutes and I'm not even the one who pays that bill and Sweets isn't concerned, I feel like I'd be wasting someone's time.

Anonymous said...

Holy effing hell, what a load of holiday cheer you've had! We, too, are Print customers, and I agree, their customer service call center is FULL O' MORONS. We've not yet extricated ourselves, and are unlikely to anytime soon, because we believe that in the end, they all suck (plus Santa brought Zach a new phone and hence a new 2-yr contract, though the rest of us are out of contract...). Should you prove me wrong (and you must get at least six months into your new relationship, young lady, before I will believe you are really in love!), please let me know. As it stands after reading what you've been through, I now hate Print more, and fear leaving them more as well. It would have to be worth my while to switch. (And apparently worth a couple hundred dollars of nonsensical charges, as well!! Argh!)

Stinkypaw said...

Aawww... Customer service... or lack of. Sad, but it kind of makes me happy to read that they are just the same "everywhere"...

If I were you I would fight them, and NOT pay it. If they didn't send you an invoice PRIOR to the "Collection Notice" I would argue it. You can't be blame for not paying if you haven't received anything from them. Let your "history" (bill payment that is) show that you paid on time, etc. and argue this damn it!

Stinkypaw said...

I bestowed upon you “The Paw”, my way of Thanking You for Being a ‘Blend’, drop by my blog and pick it up!

Kim said...

If you get a chance, listen to this. I think you'll find act 2 entertaining.

Nessa said...

I wish you a very Happy New Year, despite the yucky Print people.

Ananke said...

Holy crapola!!!! I can't believe they couldn't send you a bill. Reminds me of an experience I had with my mortgage company and property taxes they DIDN'T pay from my escrow account. Until I got notice from the sheriff about auctioning my house and I called to raise holy Hell. Customer service sucks everywhere.

And Happy Birthday! Stinkypaw sent me. :-)

Jake said...

I am a snarky, argumetative person that thrives on BS like this. I just love to give these types of "customer service reps" a dose of irrefutable sarcasm. Let me know if you need me to make a call on your behalf.

Jaek said...

BTW, that last comment was from me, Jaek. You know...The Mineral King.