Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Bubble Toes...NO. Smashed Toes... YES.

How lame do you have to be to injure your toes from doing absolutely nothing? Every toe on my right foot is "injured*," with the exception of my big toe and my pinky toe (you know... the one that went to market, and the one who went "wee, wee, wee!" all the way home).

First... let me clarify.

I did not injure my toes through:

a) a sports-related injury,
b) an accidental ramming of said toes into any type of furniture,
c) a drive-by vehicular toe accident,
d) a large mammal stomping on said toes.

No, Bloggy Friends, I injured my toes by.... wait for it... walking. I walked about 20 feet from my cubicle, and one of those steps made me feel like I had just crushed my toes. What the hell????

How can you injure your toes by just walking??? I was not wearing high heels or pinchy toe-d shoes. In fact, here's a pictorial for you.

I was not wearing these.

Nor was I wearing these.

I was wearing these. See? Low heel. Rounded toe. Perfect for NOT hurting the toes. (yes, and somewhat scuffed. I know. The weather sucks here.)

After a few days, they start to feel better, and then BLAMMO! It happens again. I try keeping pressure off the toes by walking on the left side of my foot and only putting pressure on my big toe.

Any diagnoses? Suggestions? 'Cause I feel pretty ding-dang-dong foolish right about now.

*They aren't broken. I've broken toes before due to a, b, and d above, so I know what broken toes are. They are just... sprained? I don't know!


Anonymous said...

Ouch! Sounds like a serious spasm to me. (Maybe your feet LIKE being mushed into pointy little toes and tall spiky heels?? Maybe it makes them feel sexy! Watch out, lord knows what might happen if you tried to wear FLATS one day. You could end up paralyzed!)

Hopefully it will never happen again, just cause you wrote about it.

don't call me MA'AM said...

The thing is... they still hurt really badly! It's making me nuts. But I am SOOOO not going to the doctor. "What did you do to your toes?" "Ummm... I walked." Nope. Not having that conversation. ;-)

sparkling cipher said...

I don't have any advice, except maybe just keeping them raised and iced (or are you supposed to alternate heat and ice?). I've never hurt my toes that bad, amazingly considering my utter lack of coordination. But I wish your piggies a speedy recovery.

And I love the brown boot. Fierce.

lizgwiz said...

Maybe you need a foot massage, performed by a cute guy?

I get mystery bruises all the time, but I don't think I've ever had a mystery sprain.

Nessa said...

Could be like carpel tunnel syndrome of the foot. I'd try ibuprofen to reduce the inflammation in the tendons and consciously try not to flex the foot.

wire said...

I say full amputation of the foot followed by replacement with a robotic prothesis - you could be like the bionic women only all your powers would be foot related. You know, hopping fast, picking things up with your toes and rocket boosters in your heel (though with only one it's probably just going to serve to tip you over at pace).

And whenever you beat a guy up you could follow it with some foot-related witticism like:

"Now the shoe is on the other foot!"


"Maybe you should have toed the line!"


"You just got beat up by a girl with a robotic foot!"

Stinkypaw said...

hummm... things that make you go hummm... that's one of those things!

Sorry can't help here, maybe you popped a vein or something?!

Lori said...

Yikes! My advice is to cut off your toes. Or maybe stop walking all together. Ooh! Or maybe if you wore the ridiculously high shoes, it wouldn't happen. Wouldn't the be the kicker?

nancypearlwannabe said...

Were you wearing the same shoes both times? I have this one pair that no matter what I do they always bruise my baby toe EVERY TIME I wear them. I finally just had to get rid of them!

don't call me MA'AM said...

sparkling: They tend to hurt more when they're cold, but a heating pad isn't offering much comfort either. And thanks... I LURRRVE those brown boots.

lizgwiz: Farm Boy offered, but it hurt so bad, I asked him to stop. Wah.

nessa: carpal tunnel of the foot? Eeek! Does that mean I should stop typing with my toes? haha

wire: I KNEW I could count on your for some witty retorts!

stinkypaw: no crazy discoloration, only swelling. Disgusting, no?

lori: have you met wire? Because you both think alike. ;-)

npw: doesn't matter which pair of shoes I wear. One time it was the flatter shoes in the pics; another time it was square-toed black boots; and yet another time it was bare-footed. Gah.

yes1 said...