Friday, April 04, 2008

A Grumpy Vacation Pit Stop to Dave's World...

What do YOU want from your friendly gas station/Subway/local restaurant, conveniently located alongside an interstate in the middle of a very rural area? Looking for a cell phone-car charger? Got it. How about some marshmallows? Yep. Restrooms chock full of condoms? Of course! Even in the Ladies room! Funyuns? You betcha. No-Doz? Absotively, posolutely!An ice cream bar for the road? Who doesn't want some sugar for the road? This is Dave's World... and it doesn't stop there.

How about the best mullet you've ever seen? (If the dude sporting the 'do hadn't looked a little deranged, I might have asked him if I could take his picture... but alas, he looked a little deranged.) Within 30 seconds of us pulling off the highway to stop for a sandwich, Mullet Man walked in. As soon as he left, the runner-up for best mullet entered. It was mullet heaven in this place! Super business-like up front, and all party in the back. Mullet #1 put "Billy Ray Cyrus circa 1992" to shame. Maybe I'll get ambitious this weekend and draw a picture of these men, seeing as how I have no photographic evidence.

But was this the very, very best that "Dave's World" had to offer? Au contraire, mon frere. I submit that it was not.

How about decorative testicles? In HOT PINK, BLUE, TAN, and BLACK. You know... in case you want to hang them from your rearview mirror or your trailer hitch (had to look up the name of that... envy my mad Google skillz!). Okay, so I was too shy to take a picture of these. Plus Youngest Daughter was with me, and I have to pretend to be a grown-up around her.

While I'm sure that decorative testicles are great revenue-generators for Dave's World, I would probably rethink their strategic placement... smack dab across from the Subway booths. 'Cause personally? I'm not accustomed to viewing multicolored "sacks" while munching down on some of Jared's favorite meals. That particular product placement is pretty brazen, if you ask me.

So, I guess you could say that, in more than one way, Dave's World has got balls.

5 comments:

Stefanie said...

I have heard rumors of this trailer hitch testicles phenomenon, but am pleased to say I've not encountered them yet. I'm sure they'll make their way to Minnesota eventually.

Stinkypaw said...

It takes balls to hang those things of (anywhere)... and thank the Customs god these things haven't made it up here yet!

PS: Mullets are back in style, they are really hot in Europe... argh!

wire said...

Hahaha - this is a very funny post. I wonder what was going through Dave's head when he decided that these were the things he wanted to fill his world with. I mean, decorative testicles?

Jen @ J&J Acres said...

What? No condom coke-covers? hee hee.

Nessa said...

"Decorative Testicles" have to be the funniest two words ever put together.