Thursday, April 23, 2009

Say It Aint So Fido

Do you have dogs? I have three. Seriously. Who needs three dogs? But that's not the point of this post... that's for another post, another time. But I digress...

One of my pet peeves about our dogs is taking them outside to do their business. Actually, only 2 of the 3 go outside (the youngest is still too young and too little. He has puppy pads. THOSE are so much fun and smell absolutely delightful. Yeah.). Oops... digressing again.

We still don't have a fence (even though the Farm Boy insists it's on its way), so we have to take the bigger dogs out on leashes. That's not so much a problem on nice weather days, but we can usually count nice weather days on one hand around here.

I don't have a problem with taking the dogs out when they stop, find a quick spot, do their business, and then run back in. But they're DOGS! Is there a dog on this planet that can find a potty* spot on the first try? I think not.

Nope. Dogs have to sniff a spot and know that it's not good enough. Then they have to sniff another spot 5 inches away... still not good enough. Keep looking. 20 minutes later, they return to the first spot they sniffed which has miraculously turned into a good potty spot. Ooooo-kie dokie.

And then there's me... shouting at them... "just do it already!" like that's going to help them. Hell, a mild breeze that barely ruffles leaves will distract those freaking dogs... and then the good potty spot isn't good enough anymore. Start ALL over.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why it takes so long to find the right place to do their business. Maybe I'll call Cesar Millan to enlighten me or something.

SO anyhoodles... imagine my surprise today as I headed into a Womens Room - a rather large restroom with about 40 or 50 different stalls- and discovered as I walked past stall after stall after stall after stall - I was being picky about which stall to use! I remember thinking... "Oh. My. God. I'm acting like my dogs!"

It wasn't like I poked my head in each one to check for cleanliness, nor were any of them too close to the main restroom door. In fact, they were all extremely clean and set pretty far away from the door. No, I just kept walking and looking for the "right door." And I have no idea why. Considering a person might be in that stall for what totals less than 20 or 30 seconds... does it really matter?

My dogs are little, very yappy, and they think they're bigger and tougher than they really are.

I'm barely 5'4", somewhat mouthy, and... oh crap! Perhaps there are some similarities here.

If I end up on a website that shows side by side pics of owners and dogs that resemble each other, I'm going to be very distraught.

*No, I haven't gone all prim and proper on you. I usually only use the word "potty" when I'm talking to my young nieces or nephew, but I remembered halfway through posting that SOME words that may or may not be synonyms for "potty" tend to bring some bizarre traffic and searches. So, "potty" it is!


3carnations said...

Love this post. My dog will randomly try to eat anything he finds in the yard that looks interesting. In that way he and I differ, at least. :-)

the cubicle's backporch said...

I do the same thing... I like to find a stall that just 'feels right'. hee hee.

Our dogs, however, seem to like the taste of chicken poop, and I haven't crossed that line yet! :)

We're getting an invisible fence so no more walking for us! Yay!

Anonymous said...

See, this is why I have cats. You bring it home. You set up The Box. You bring the cat to The Box, and you can say, "Here's your Box," if you want... or you can remain silent - entirely up to you. And when the cat needs to go, he/she remembers where The Box is located, and goes there forthwith to do his/her business. (You must also assign Scoop Duty to someone on your allowance payroll, if you want to be as hands-off as possible.)

lizgwiz said...

I have noticed that I generally default to the second stall. Not too near the door, but not all the way down at the end. It's just right.

I use puppy pads underneath and behind my litter boxes ('cause I have a couple of cats who pee like freaks and can't always keep it in the box) and the last time I bought them the plastic backing was a different color. Beige, to, as the packaging says, "go with every decor." Hee! Yeah...I'm really concerned that the pee-soaked pads match my "decor."

Betty said...

This post is really fun! I don't know how I found you; but, I'm coming back for more.

My posts have been sadder lately; but, we have four rescued dogs and I do have some earlier posts about them (like, really earlier..haha).

Thanks for a good laugh..I needed it! You are so enjoyable!