Open Letter Regarding Email Ads

Dear People Responsible for Ads in Web Email:

I get it.

One Simple Rule to Obey for a Flat Belly. Got it.

Done.

PLEASE, PLEASE make those ads go away!

I don't want to read my email anymore. I'm tired of seeing a flabby belly next to the emails my sister sends me... the emails my mother sends me... the emails Capitol One sends me!

Today, it was cellulite-filled thighs and flabby bingo wings. I'm familiar with these looks. I've seen cellulite before. While I'm sure you're trying to impress me with some major cottage cheese looks here... I'm not BUYING IT.

Seriously? Have we forgotten how to purchase other ads? I know for a fact that my email content does not discuss how much I wish I could obliterate my cellulite or lose weight and flatten my belly... so don't go there. My email content is not to blame for these ads!!!

This is not a cellulite-related phobia of mine. I'm just TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO LOOK AT IT ALL.

BTW, when people tire of your ads, they do. not. buy. your. products.

That is all.

Sincerely,
Grumpy Frump


p.s. if it were a simple change to another web-based email, I'd do it. Only ONE of my numerous email accounts is free of the awfulness that comprises these ads. And no... I'm not discriminating against people who have flabby bellies/thighs/arms. I'm not exactly cellulite-free myself. So don't take it there, either. Just. Stop.

More Bloggy Love

Okay, first... I have good news (for me anyway). I have a job change coming up in the fall. Color me tres excited!!! It also means that my poor Grumpy Frump blog will not be as neglected as it is currently. YAY!!!!

Second, this blog recommendation comes by way of Whoorl, whom I love. And now I love this blogger that Whoorl loves, too. The Paper Bag Princess is my kind of people.

Here's Whoorl's ode to the Paper Bag Princess.

And be sure to read pudding and the paper bag princess! I know you'll love her, too.

A Blogger You Should Love

http://tinyartdirector.blogspot.com

Hilarious, precocious... and very much what my life was like about 15 years ago, except my Tiny Art Director was a Tiny Music Director:

"No, mommy. The words should go like this!" "Stop playing that song! I HATE that song!" "Oh, but I love THIS song!"

Ah.... memories.

ENJOY Tiny Art Director. And buy the book when it comes out. :-)

The Fruit Bully

Attention, sellers and distributors of fruit cups, fruit salads, fruit medleys, et cetera, et cetera.

CANTELOUPE spoils the flavors of the other fruits. SOME people detest canteloupe. Please stop adding canteloupe. It bullies the strawberries and pineapple into tasting like canteloupe. I do not like canteloupe.

That is all.