Thursday, May 28, 2009

Open Letter Regarding Email Ads

Dear People Responsible for Ads in Web Email:

I get it.

One Simple Rule to Obey for a Flat Belly. Got it.


PLEASE, PLEASE make those ads go away!

I don't want to read my email anymore. I'm tired of seeing a flabby belly next to the emails my sister sends me... the emails my mother sends me... the emails Capitol One sends me!

Today, it was cellulite-filled thighs and flabby bingo wings. I'm familiar with these looks. I've seen cellulite before. While I'm sure you're trying to impress me with some major cottage cheese looks here... I'm not BUYING IT.

Seriously? Have we forgotten how to purchase other ads? I know for a fact that my email content does not discuss how much I wish I could obliterate my cellulite or lose weight and flatten my belly... so don't go there. My email content is not to blame for these ads!!!

This is not a cellulite-related phobia of mine. I'm just TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO LOOK AT IT ALL.

BTW, when people tire of your ads, they do. not. buy. your. products.

That is all.

Grumpy Frump

p.s. if it were a simple change to another web-based email, I'd do it. Only ONE of my numerous email accounts is free of the awfulness that comprises these ads. And no... I'm not discriminating against people who have flabby bellies/thighs/arms. I'm not exactly cellulite-free myself. So don't take it there, either. Just. Stop.


the cubicle's backporch said...

Now that I've been job searching, I get ones that say "We have a job for you!" or "Questions from our HR Deptarment".

Poppy said...

I cannot even articulate how much I hate the belly ad. MY BELLY IS BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY IT IS, thanks.

Ludicrousity said...

Preach it sister!