Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakuh!

I'm not done shopping and baking yet, so I probably won't blog again until after Christmas. It's going to be a crazy couple of days in our house with kids in and out and lots of time with extended family. I'm also hoping to grab some coffee or something with one of my favorite bloggers before New Year's.

Wishing you peace and joy... for whatever holiday you do or do not celebrate. :-)

Obsessions

I will admit that I am obsessed with something when, against my better judgment, I act in a manner contrary to my values.

Case in point: the past two weekends, I have planned to deal with my mounting laundry problem, as well as to pull ALL my winter clothes out of storage and put them away properly. Cleaning up around the house and getting all our Christmas decorations were also in the plans.

Alas, I didn't get that all done. I did a few minor tasks here and there, but I was most definitely distracted by two things:

1. Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga
2. Mystery Case Files- Return to Ravenhearst

To be fair to myself, I was given impetus to read the novels in the vampire saga as quickly as I could. I was sharing the books with my youngest who was sharing them with her friends, so it was easier for me to just hurry up and read all four novels. So I did. In eight days. If my calculations are correct, that's somewhere around 2550+ pages total. I started on Saturday night, 12/6 and finished before noon on Saturday, 12/13. I did not take any of the books to work. Additionally, I prepared a resume and applied for another job somewhere in the middle of it all. In fact, I think it's safe to say... if I could have stayed home Monday and Tuesday, I would have had all four novels done by Tuesday. Needless to say, I haven't had a lot of sleep in the last week.

All would have been just fine... my overworked eyes would have received some much needed rest... if it weren't for the note card I received in the mail reminding me that one of my favorite games had been released. I love Mystery Case Files... but I also have an insatiable need to finish the game immediately.

So, I downloaded Return to Ravenheast this past Saturday afternoon. I finished the game last night just before midnight. Total playing time was just under 8 hours.

What is WRONG with me?!?! I don't have my Christmas shopping finished. My house is somewhat a disaster. My husband did his laundry all day yesterday, so I probably couldn't have gotten much of my own done anyway... but still. This is ludicrous. Like I said... obsession.

I THOUGHT I was a grown-up who knew how to put away what I want to do for what I really should do.

But, instead of beating myself up about it all... I have decided to grant myself a reprieve. Perhaps I needed some stress relief, and that's how it manifested.

Yeah... let's go with that. ;-)


BTW, have you ever read books so quickly that you're then disappointed you're not still reading about those characters? I did that when I finished The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, and The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, as well as many many other books. I'm finding I miss Bella, Edward, and the Cullens a little bit too... however, not for the same reason my teenage daughters do. haha Meyer writes stories that you can't put down, and you really don't want them to end. I'm looking forward to the second movie now.

Helpful Hints-The Jazzed Edition

If you have a headache in the morning, and it doesn't get better... don't take two Excedrin (which contain caffeine) with a 16 oz coffee.... most especially if you are sensitive to caffeine.

You will be shaking like a leaf and talking like a speed freak for the rest of the day.

And although you are already quite the speedy typer, your shaking hands will produce more typos than actual words.

Just saying.



This hint brought to you today by Excedrin Migraine (the wonder drug) and Scooters unbelievably good cafe au lait.

Flirting with Over The Top Promotion

Dear Heather Locklear,

Since the commercial for your up and coming TV movie, Flirting with 40, seems to be inescapable at the moment (seriously? why are they advertising Lifetime movies on non-Lifetime channels?!?! multiple times an hour?!?!), I feel it is necessary to point out a few things:

1. Terry McMillan already did this story... and then made it into a movie. But the "been there, done that" factor is probably not your fault.
2. I'm not sure what's going on with your face in this particular movie, but it is possible you are overdoing the cosmetic/plastic surgery/restylane injections or something. Or... have you been stung by a bee all over your face? Your face is starting to not look like your face. Please stop whatever it is you're doing. You're beautiful, even if you get wrinkles.
3. We were totally Team Locklear in that whole Denise Richards fiasco. Totally. We're anti-Richards all the way. So, this note isn't a slam on you. You've been fab in our books for a while, and we're hoping that the whole DUI thing is all a huge misunderstanding (even though it doesn't sound like it will).

So, thanks for listening. Also, kudos on the co-star in that movie. He's almost as hot as the Farm Boy. ;-)

p.s. Since I began writing this post, that commercial has aired AGAIN. And AGAIN. I hope you get a check every time it airs. SOMEONE has to benefit from that many commercials, and I'm sure it's not me.

The Return Of Goofy Gobbles

Goofy Gobbles wants to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
... and if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, then Happy Thursday!

Aging is Not the Devil

I know I harp on this a lot... but enough already!

Is anyone else tired of seeing/reading articles like this one: "Can You Believe She's 50?" on MSN.com?

To some degree, the 15 women who are highlighted take good care of themselves and have good genes. To a higher degree, however, most of them are extremely wealthy, can afford personal trainers and chefs, and... of course... botox and plastic surgery.

You know those asterisks that are placed next to world records or undefeated seasons in sports where there are some extenuating circumstances? Yeah. I want an asterisk next to the names of those women who botox their foreheads as tight as those on 6 year old children.

Am I jealous of them? No. I could afford botox if I wanted, and. I. Do. Not. Want.

Yes, I will complain about my saggy jaw, droopy eyelids, and gravity's effects on my aging body. BUT, I am almost 40 years old. I have earned every single wrinkle I have, and I want to show the world what it's like to really live. That doesn't include injecting past-its-expiration-date-mayonnaise into my skin.

My biggest concern is the statement this type of attention on 'maintaining youth' sends to our young women. We don't need a world full of Jocelyn Wildensteins in the next 50 years.

No thanks. I'll pass. I hope my daughters have a positive sense of self and can say the same thing.

Confessions of a Lip Product Addict

Hello, my name is Grumpy F., and I am addicted to lip products.

Lipstick.
Lip gloss.
Lip balm.
Lip stain.
Lip shine.

I can't resist. In fact, this morning, I looked in my purse. Here's what I found:

1. Stila Long Wear Lip Color in coquette.
2. Stila Long Wear Lip Color in rendezvous.
3. Victoria's Secret Smooth Talk Creamy Lip Color Palette (5 shades).
4. Smashbox O-Gloss.
5. Smashbox Lip Brilliance- Transparencies (3 shades).
6. Revlon Color Stay in Fabulous Fig.
7. Bare Escentuals Buxom Lips in Roxy.
8. Revlon ColorStay Mineral Lipglaze in Forever Raisin.
9. Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss in Cherry Bomb.
10. Delux Beauty Kiss It! lip gloss palette (6 shades).

ALL. IN. ONE. PURSE.

But wait... are you getting this? Those are just the ones I had in my purse. That doesn't even account for all the others in my makeup drawer and in other purses:

1. Bare Escentuals Buxom Lips Full Color in 2 additional shades.
2. Revlon Color Stay in 2 additional shades.
3. Revlon ColorStay Mineral Lipglaze in 2 additional shades.
4. Stila Lip Glaze in 2 shades.
5. Clinique Long Last Long Shine Lipstick in at least 3 shades.
6. several lip balms, including Burt's Bees Shimmers in 3 shades.
7. a couple of lip stains.

I have a sickness.

If I stopped buying new lip products for the next 3 years, I still wouldn't run out (except that the ones I have would be 'old and gross;' and therefore, I would need to buy more).

I don't know what's wrong with me. I need to use what I have before I buy anymore.

Perhaps, a good idea would be to carry a palette of shades with me that I already own. That way, when I see a new product, I won't be as tempted to buy it.

Yeah. Right. Let's go with that.




BTW, thanks for the supportive comments for the previous post. You're the greatest!


[photo credit] Anyaka. "kiss_lips." Anyaka's photostream. 13 Feb 2006. 13 Nov 2008. http://flickr.com/photos/anyaka/99418256/

This Is Not A Crisis

I don't think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Really, I don't think I am. I'm fairly certain it's just a mid-life slump. That's all.

Overall, I'm very happy with my life. I love my family. We're busy as hell, but I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything in the world. There's so much enjoyment in watching our kids in their activities... even though that means we're traveling all over the state (and sometimes, outside the state) to watch the kids do what they do. That doesn't seem like an obligation to me. It's time with my husband and kids when I really feel fulfilled.

On the other hand, I think my professional life is weighing me down. I like the idea of my job... I love the field of study and how I'm able to help people... but I'm not happy with the schedule, the extra time I spend at work that takes me away from my family, and the sheer mental exhaustion of it all.

My house is a disaster, because... when I am actually home... I'm too tired to deal with it. My personal fitness plan is non-existent (see previous point). I pay bills online over my lunch hour, when I actually have a lunch hour, and other personal errands happen when they happen.

I think you get the point. I'M TOO BUSY.

What I REALLY want to do is...

1) write- books, articles, blog (more)
2) get back into painting again
3) go on photography retreats
4) travel occasionally and facilitate workshops and deliver presentations in my field (this would require me to become self-employed)
5) sing with a group again and be the musician I am, rather than the one I "dust off" occasionally
6) stop stressing out over everything all the time!!!

That's not really all that much to ask, is it?

Ah... but then there's that money issue. Our youngest is a sophomore in high school. Our oldest is a sophomore in college. And the two in the middle are also in high school-- one junior, one senior.

KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE. So is college.

So... those things I really WANT to do are not in the business of paying me what I require to afford the college thing. And the high school thing.


Therein lies my dilemma.

Can I be patient enough to wait until the youngest is out of college? That's about 7 years away. Can my health and mental wellness sustain 7 more years of what I'm doing now?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Grumpy Helpful Hints- The Bling Edition

If your jewelry armoire is overflowing, stop buying friggin' jewelry already! And stop having parties where people sell jewelry. And stop going to parties for people who booked a party at your party where people sell jewelry. Enough already.



This hint is brought to you by husbands who are tired of all your jewelry, as well as the parties where they have to get lost for a few hours.

Grumpy Helpful Hints- Special Edition

This is a double edition... aren't you lucky!?!?

1. If you A) are already somewhat of a nervous flibbertygibbet, and B) believe in ghosties, never hang a dark sweater in the back of your car and then drive with the windows open. This will cause you to catch the swinging dark sweater out of the corner of your eye in the rearview mirror. It will also cause your heart to stop ever so slightly while you freak out as you are driving.

2. If you are excited about the candidates for whom you are voting today (or perhaps for whom you have already voted), it is just fine and dandy to exhibit exuberance about said candidates. It is not, however, fine and dandy to mock or shame people who are voting against your candidates' opponents. Remember... it's okay to agree to disagree.

That is all.

These hints are brought to you today by sweaters, ghosts, democracy, and "can't we all just get along?"

Grumpy Helpful Hints- Part 2

If you are trying to watch what you eat and be healthy, NEVER go to a coffee drive-thru that partners with a donut store... and most especially if said donut store has donut holes by the dozen... because you know you will shamefully wolf down said donut holes in the car. So just don't do it. You will face the "Belly Ache of Self-Reproach" for the rest of the day.


This hint is brought to you today by LaMars Donuts and Dunn Bros Coffee (not really... but here's a shout-out to them anyway) and my gluttony.

Grumpy Helpful Hints- Numero Uno

Since I don't have time to write huge, existential, super important blog posts for you all right now, I figured I could at least do some Helpful Hints. In other words, I will help you all to learn from my moronic mistakes. ;-)

So, here is Grumpy Helpful Hint Numero Uno:

When you eat microwaved mashed potatoes (like, maybe, in a Lean Cuisine meal), ALWAYS stir the potatoes really, really well before taking a huge bite. Otherwise, you will suffer from what I'm sure is third degree esophageal burns.


This hint is brought to you today by Lean Cuisine (not really... but here's a shout-out to them anyway) and my sheer stupidity.

The Topic That Shall Not Be Named

I don't blog about the "P" word (rhymes with "molitics"), but I will tell you a few things--

1. I will be one happy camper by November 5. In fact, it just can't come soon enough for me. Yes, this (U.S.) election is important. Yes, I exercise my right to vote and proud to do so. BUT... I cannot bear one more political advertisement- tv, radio, web page, road signs, or otherwise. That screaming you hear is me tearing out my hair.

2. I wish someone would bail me out for 700 billion. I'm pretty sure I would go to a spa.

3. Why, if we allow people to run for president outside of the Democrat and Republican parties do we NOT include them in the debates? Are they not important? Were they even invited? I would love to have seen debates including Ralph and T. Boone and Ron... Stephen Colbert should have been the moderator.

4. What I hate the most about "molitics?" People who disagree and can't get over disagreeing. Can we agree to disagree? NO. Apparently, only one side can be right. If you're a donkey, you think elephants are old-fashioned, out of touch, greedy, and WRONG. If you're an elephant, you think donkeys are tree-huggers, irresponsible spenders, bleeding hearts, and WRONG. Guess what? You're all right, and you're all wrong. AND... if you're going to comment (which I invite you to do), don't try to convince me one way or the other. It. Won't. Work.

5. I'm moving to the moon and starting my own republic. The Republic of Grumpy. If you want to join me, that's great. If you get too jerky or stupid, I'm sending you back. So, I guess it's not really a republic. It's more like a monarchy. We'll take turns being queen or king, though. Kthxbai.

I Miss My Grumpy Blog

Wow. Not even a once a month post kinda thing. Sad, huh?

Still doing a LOT with the professional blog and work and all that. On Twitter a lot, too... but I have decided maybe that I should try to separate my Twitter account a bit. Just perhaps, I might be smart to have a professional tweet place and a personal tweet place.

So, if you want to follow me, I'm grumpyfrump on Twitter. Not that you have to. Nope. Not that I've been a good bloggy friend or anything. *pandering here*

If it makes any difference, I truly, TRULY miss blogging here. Sometimes, I think of the greatest post ideas...

Like, really? Have I gained back half the weight I lost ALREADY? Yes. Yes, I have. and that sucks like you wouldn't believe!

Or another post about how much I hate politics and election years and all the lying and mudslinging... and how I'm thinking I may just write someone in for president because I'm not happy with anyone. But this is not a political blog, and I don't go into those discussions with friends. So... yeah. Skip that one.

Okay, so it's settled. No politics. But we are going to make some goals, right here, right now.

1. I will return to my healthy eating habits and will track what I'm eating. No calorie counting, though. I get a little nuts when I do that. The logging will help enough. Just writing it down makes me remember to eat my six meals a day and to keep it smart.

2. I will ALSO write down my exercise (which lately has been a big fat ZILCH). I'm not going to try to get back into it at full strength, so I will start with 30 minutes three times a week. After one week, we'll bump that up to 4 times, and so on and so on.

3. I will return to blogging here at the GF at least every other week... but I would prefer once a week.

4. AND... every time I blog here, I will also open up my Google Reader and catch up with you. :-) Plus, if you're on Twitter, follow me and I will follow you. That's making my brain think of some old 70s song (was it John Denver?), but at least that will rid my brain of that lousy HSM song that someone at work started singing today. Puh-leeze. And, NO, I'm not linking it, because I don't want it to get stuck in your head either!

Peace, my bloggy friends!

Who Dere? Who Dat?

*walking slowly past everyone, trying not to be seen*

Oops... busted.

"Ummm... so, yeeeeaaaaahhhhh. Hey, Blogger! What's UP? Long time no see! What's been goin on witchoo?"

Do I have an excuse for not coming around hardly at all this summer? Well, of course I do!! Is it a good excuse? Yeah. But I still feel badly.

I'm THAT bloggy friend, aren't I? You know... the one who says she PROMISES to keep in touch, will post here and there, comment there and here... and then never does. I'm a lame duck blogger.

So here's the story: SUPER busy summer with work. Lots of blogging over at the professional blog. That's work-related, so I have to do that. Vacation? No, not really. Kinda sucks actually now that I think about it.

Still not a great excuse, but that's all I have. And maybe you've all moved on... and it's no big deal. We'll see. I hope to be back more very soon. Work will be calming down for a little while, and then I'll be able to catch up with you all... and find out who's having babies, whose babies are growing up, who quit the blogging gig for good, who's exchanged this format entirely for Twitter... you know, all the scoop.

Maybe We Could Just Skip Summer

Could we please be done with severe weather for the "season?" I'm about tornado-ed out.

Meanwhile, I'm also temporarily on vacation and might actually get back to blogging.

Please. Make. Her. Stop.

1. Dear China- I'm sorry. None of us really like Sharon Stone. In fact, we're trying to get another country to claim her. Please don't hold it against us.

2. Dear Diddy- Never been much of a fan, but you didn't deserve that. Please see #1 above.

I May Resort To Carrying A Fire Extinguisher With Me...

You know what bugs the crap out of me?!?!

When I take the time to shower and smell nice everyday... and then some asswipe decides he doesn't need to follow the rules and proceeds to walk the narrow 100 foot walkway PAST the "no smoking past this point" zone*... with cancer stick in hand... blowing his stinky smoke in MY HAIR! **

Break the rules, endanger your health, and stink yourself up on your own time, you insensitive jackass!

Did I mention that I was THIS CLOSE to yelling all of this out loud to that jerk this morning?!?
The only thing holding me back is the recent stabbings and shootings in our area over seemingly minor arguments (one for music being too loud, and one over "life issues"-- not linking these to the actual news articles. Sorry!).


RAWR! There. I think I feel a little better.


*This is the zone I take care to walk completely around, as I am allergic to cigarette smoke, have asthma, and don't want to smell like smoke, of smoke, etc. I have no problem with it being there, as long as people follow the rules.

**Yes, I know it's a run-on sentence. Ask me if I care.

A Suggestion For You...

Thanks to everyone for the new blog reading suggestions... am sorting through and trying to read them as I go. Will post soon!

One that I found and really enjoy:
http://www.popwaffle.com

Don't forget to click on the Blog link, too.

Good stuff... creative... funny. Two big thumbs up!

You Should Be Reading...

Have you seen this blog? Reasons Why I Dumped You

You should! Very entertaining! I found "Reasons" through my Bloggy Friend, -R-.

Also, if you haven't responded to my plea for additions to my blogroll, please leave your suggestions in the comments.

Thanks!