The other day I saw a link for an online article titled, "How to Be a Hot Mom." I'm not adding the link, because it pissed me off.
Besides the instant frustration I felt, I wondered if my mom ever read articles in Redbook or Good Housekeeping about how to keep herself looking hot and sexy. I already knew the answer to that. There were the occasional articles about how to keep the 'spice' in her relationship ("buy a sexy nightie that only your husband will get to see," or "when he opens the door after a long day of work, make sure you're standing there wrapped in cellophane," etc.). There were no articles, however, about how to make sure your daughter's boyfriends drool and forget all about your daughter.
I know that our society is always grasping for new and better ways to get us all to be insecure about ourselves. We must look younger and sexier all the time. However, all the "fabulous bods at 40" aren't really all that fabulous, since they're mostly fake. I don't want to look like Demi Moore when I'm in my 40s, because I'm not willing to shell out the samoleans* to get there. Nor do I want my girls to be up to my neck when I'm in my 70s. I just want to look real... you know... I want to look like ME.
Now don't get me wrong... I truly believe in looking good when I walk out the door. It's important to me that I don't embarrass myself in public, of course. But I don't go on shopping quests for clothes that are sexy. I have children. And I don't want to embarrass THEM.
The last time I wore a bikini (other than a cruise where there were no children around) was about 10 years ago. I took my daughters to a public pool. As I took off my outerwear, my daughter (who was about 6 or 7) gasped and said, "Mommy! Put your shirt back on! People are STARING!"
I wasn't naked... I had on a bikini. But apparently, the modesty lessons that I had instilled into my children since birth were also meant for me. From then on, I started wearing one piece suits to the public pool and saved the bikinis for the backyard with the 6 foot privacy fence.
Here's my point: I'm 37. My husband thinks I'm hot (or at least he lies well and tells me that I am). That's all that really matters. I don't want other people to think I'm unattractive, but at the same time, I'm not out trolling for attention. I'm so over that. And let me tell you, if I'm being honest with myself... I think it's a really great phase to be in.
So, enough with the 'hot mom' articles. Desperate Housewives? Puh-leeze. If celebrity women get any thinner, and implants get any bigger, the majority of them won't be able to stand up. And it's pretty difficult to look hot when you keep falling over.
*the form of currency native to Sweethaven, home of the one-eyed sailor.