Monday, September 04, 2006

Words of Wisdom...

These are just some of the thoughts that passed through my brain the last couple of days. As usual, it's me being all haughty and know-it-all, but some things just need to be said (and, of course, I didn't actually say them when I had the chance):

1. Just because you, an adult woman, are ABLE to fit into the clothes teenagers wear, doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Oh, and if you are in your 60s and can't actually WALK in those spiky stilettos, just say no.

2. If you have more monthly debt than take-home pay, you should not splurge on something you want but do not need. Easier said than done, I know. But if you complain constantly about the fact that you have no money, and your credit history prevents you from making necessary purchases... don't splurge.

3. If you knew what you were getting into... don't complain about it after the fact.

4. Remember... 13 is a difficult age. It's even more difficult when you're the youngest one in the family. Cut her some slack every once in a while. Yes, she's annoying, but she's 13. That's her JOB.

5. Please don't drive like an arse. Yes, we see your big, shiny, yellow and black-striped monster truck with the over-sized tires and gleaming metal exhaust pipe. How could we not? Accelerating past us on a short road doing about 60 (in a 25 mph zone) is not making you look cool. It's making you look stupid.

6. Don't laugh at Andre Agassi and call him a crybaby. That standing ovation after a 21-year, very successful career would make you cry too. Besides, he earned it.

7. Be kind to each other. Yes, sarcasm can be funny... but let's just, for one day, be nice.

On another note... I am so sad about Steve Irwin. You can say what you want about his style... whether you agreed with it/liked it or not... but the man did SO much for wildlife conservation and education. What a loss. :-(


-R- said...

I always feel bad for the older women in teenagers' clothes. Really, you aren't fooling anyone, lady.

Ludicrousity said...

I agree. Not sure about 7 though... :P Nah, seriously, I agree.

Paisley said...

I would like to add that wearing dark lip liner and light lipstick was NEVER in. Please pass it on.

I saw a lady in People with this. Eeek!

Great list.


Stinkypaw said...

1. What is it with women (and men too!) who dress like how old they wished they were, instead of how old they really are?! Sad.

2 & 3. Some people just don't learn and never give up their right to complain... Annoying

6. Who was stupid enough to laugh at Andre? WHO?! The man deserved that ovation and so much more.

7. I think I might be with ludicrousity on that one... ;-)

And Crikey will be missed...

wire said...

does it pay well to be an annoying 13 year old? i'm thinking of a new career direction.

don't call me MA'AM said...

-r-: they never learn though... especially where I live. Gah.

ludi: sometimes, the sarcasm gets old when all you hear is people dissing one another (yes, I just said "dissing"). That's all. Hey, I'm sarcastic, too... but I try to be nice once in a while. :-)

paisley: amen! If I can tell you used lip liner, you shouldn't use it. Right?

stinkypaw: I heard some guy on the television that was like "enough already with the tears, Andre." I don't know who it was, because I would have stepped through the screen and wrapped my fingers around his throat. heh heh

wire: yeah, apparently it does pay well. But you can only do it for a year, and there's no going back to it if you've already passed "go." ;-)

hannah said...

The worst case of OFWCTYFTD* that I have ever seen was a large woman with the hugest "backyard" I have ever seen wearing spandex tights and the standard FLTSMD*.

She was already on a crowded subway I had just boarded. She was ever so delicately balanced by leaning her back against the pole in the middle of the car.

And yes, just in case you were wondering, her buttcheeks did completely engulf the pole. Look ma, no hands!

*Old Farts Wearing Clothes Too Young For Their Demographic
*Fat Ladies Tee Shirt Muumuu Dress

don't call me MA'AM said...

hannah: ewww. ;-)

Gabrielle said...

I'm with Stinkypaw--WHO called Andre a wimp? I'll kick their ass!

And yes, I'm still so sad about Steve. It's funny--I had no idea of the impact he had on the world beyond Australia. An added thanks to him for that.

MiMaw said...

Yes! Yes! Yes! to all of the above. I believe when a child turns 13, an alien takes over his/her body until they are about 18 or 20. That's the only explanation I have been able to come up... okay, so maybe it is only hormones!