Maybe We Could Just Skip Summer

Could we please be done with severe weather for the "season?" I'm about tornado-ed out.

Meanwhile, I'm also temporarily on vacation and might actually get back to blogging.

Please. Make. Her. Stop.

1. Dear China- I'm sorry. None of us really like Sharon Stone. In fact, we're trying to get another country to claim her. Please don't hold it against us.

2. Dear Diddy- Never been much of a fan, but you didn't deserve that. Please see #1 above.

I May Resort To Carrying A Fire Extinguisher With Me...

You know what bugs the crap out of me?!?!

When I take the time to shower and smell nice everyday... and then some asswipe decides he doesn't need to follow the rules and proceeds to walk the narrow 100 foot walkway PAST the "no smoking past this point" zone*... with cancer stick in hand... blowing his stinky smoke in MY HAIR! **

Break the rules, endanger your health, and stink yourself up on your own time, you insensitive jackass!

Did I mention that I was THIS CLOSE to yelling all of this out loud to that jerk this morning?!?
The only thing holding me back is the recent stabbings and shootings in our area over seemingly minor arguments (one for music being too loud, and one over "life issues"-- not linking these to the actual news articles. Sorry!).


RAWR! There. I think I feel a little better.


*This is the zone I take care to walk completely around, as I am allergic to cigarette smoke, have asthma, and don't want to smell like smoke, of smoke, etc. I have no problem with it being there, as long as people follow the rules.

**Yes, I know it's a run-on sentence. Ask me if I care.

A Suggestion For You...

Thanks to everyone for the new blog reading suggestions... am sorting through and trying to read them as I go. Will post soon!

One that I found and really enjoy:
http://www.popwaffle.com

Don't forget to click on the Blog link, too.

Good stuff... creative... funny. Two big thumbs up!

You Should Be Reading...

Have you seen this blog? Reasons Why I Dumped You

You should! Very entertaining! I found "Reasons" through my Bloggy Friend, -R-.

Also, if you haven't responded to my plea for additions to my blogroll, please leave your suggestions in the comments.

Thanks!

A Blog Request...

My blogroll, aka "All The Cool Kids" needs your help! I'm going to weed through it this weekend and remove the people who are no longer blogging (*sigh*) and add some new blogs I should be reading.

Therein lies the problem. I need to add some new bloggy friends with my current bloggy friends.

Any suggestions? Which blogs do you read no matter what?

Or... if you think I should be reading YOUR blog, but you're not on my list, tell me!

In a way, this is kind of a de-lurking plea, but also... I just want to know who you think is worth reading. With my professional blog taking up most of my blogging time lately, I am a little behind around here. So I'd really, really, really appreciate your input!

Thanks for playing.

Holy Cow!

That's all I have to say about this...

Four Entirely Different Wake Up Calls

1. Do you have music or certain bands that you like in spite of yourself?

Example: I really loved Maroon 5 before they became famous. And now... meh. I could take or leave Adam Levine. Really. And one of our radio stations here plays at least one Maroon 5 tune an hour... seriously. So, that means, my chances of hearing Maroon 5 on the radio are pretty great. Usually, I roll my eyes and change to another station. (Okay, Farm Boy... really? Could we PUH-LEEZE get my Sirius radio installed in my new car? Pretty please?!?!)

But SOMETIMES... I can't make myself change the station. Because I kind of like them. Yes, even though most of their songs are indistinguishable from the others. And I don't WANT to like them. Gah.

Oh, to live in a world where our only problems are getting hooked on a music group we really don't want to like.

2. Does it seem to you that there have been a lot of weather-related tragedies in a very short amount of time? What's interesting is watching the number of young people who have joined groups in Facebook or somewhere within their RL* communities to see what they can do to help. I love, love, LOVE what Web 2.0, for lack of a better term, has done to help people become more globally aware and INVOLVED.

3. Mother's Day came and went. Kids and Farm Boy did a nice job of making me feel special, but I have a bit of a problem celebrating a "holiday" that was probably created out of good intentions and has more recently become commercialized to a fault. (how was THAT for a run-on sentence? Yeehaw!)

I know and love many women in my life who are not mothers-- either by choice or by "nature." For those out of choice, the "holiday" is just another day. For those where the desire to have children is great, but "nature" has determined otherwise... that holiday can be a nightmare. Still yet... there are those who are mothers of lost children. And my heart just breaks for my friends in those situations. But Hallmark doesn't make a card for them.

And everyone goes about pretending that the commercialism really doesn't hurt anyone. I disagree.

4. Just had to share something funny about a meeting this morning... btw, 8:00 Monday morning meetings should be outlawed... I'm just sayin'.

My boss was all chipper and happy at the start of our meeting... she teaches an early morning class before she goes to work (like a 5:00am class!), so she's always rarin' to go! She remarked today about how she forgets that not everyone is a morning person like her. If you know me at all, you know the depth of that understatement! I'm thinking she must have drawn the short straw when she got me... Miss "can't truly function until sometime after 10:00am. Oh, if it's Monday, let's make that 11:00am."

I mentioned something to the same effect, and we all had a good chuckle about it. It's nice to be able to joke at work... when we all realize our differences and can look on them as "differences, " and not "weaknesses."

Yikes. Does this last part make me sound like I'm in a good mood? How can that be? Don't worry... I'll be back to something that annoys me tomorrow, I'm certain.


*RL= real life

5 Things That Are Not Really Important

Been extremely busy at work, and then things have been busy on the homefront, too. May is always a really hectic time of year.

So... here are just a few things on my mind:

1) I saw a spot on the Today Show that Crest Pro Health Rinse can leave brown spots on your teeth. Has this happened to anyone? I just bought two GINORMOUS bottles of this stuff.

2) If you saw a person holding a baby on his/her lap while driving, what would you do? The Farm Boy saw this a couple of weeks ago, and he called the police. Thinking they probably wouldn't do anything, he was pleasantly surprised when a patrol car showed up almost immediately. This might seem a little "narc-ish" to some of you (I hope not), but I was really happy that he made that call.

3) As much as I would like to think I'm a rebel, I'm pretty much a stickler for certain rules. For example, if I'm not allowed to park in a certain part of a parking lot... I don't. And it really burns my biscuits when someone else does. I know, I know... don't have a cow over something that isn't really your business. But it kind of is my business. Our parking lot at work and then the walk into the building is a little over 200 yards. Yes, that's two football fields. Big deal. Well, it is when it's raining. Anyway, some jerk parked his brand new red GT in the "reserved" stalls yesterday... AND he double-parked it. I sooooooooooo wanted to key that car. But I didn't. See? Not a rebel.

4) This spring season is about the prettiest spring I've seen in many, many years. Is that true for those of you also experiencing spring right now? Perhaps the very cold winter we had prepared us for a fabulous, awe-inspiring spring. I'm hoping I can go on a little photo retreat Friday afternoon. The colors are just amazing!! I'll post some if I do.

5) I don't really have five things... but I can't just leave it at 4. So maybe I'm a little Monk-ish. Sue me. haha

A Friday Rant

I'm growing more and more weary of gender stereotypes... and all the media and advertising that perpetuates it further.

While I don't expect that every person on the planet should WANT to eat healthier, I hate when commercials insinuate that men should want the greasy, cholesterol-laden, heart attack on a plate at every fast food or sit-down restaurant. A manly man doesn't eat salads. Well, why the hell not? If he wants a salad, let him eat a salad. If he wants a chicken sandwich, let him eat a chicken sandwich. If he turns down a triple cheeseburger with bacon and extra cheese sauce, that doesn't make him any less of a man.

On the same note, just because I'm a woman, please don't tell me that I prefer quilting and sewing floral fabrics into frilly little frocks over watching a football or hockey game. AND... I want people around me to be quiet during an intense play... I'm not a "silly old hen" who talks and talks and talks, distracting my husband during the game.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women who quilt or sew... or who don't like or appreciate sports. Not at all!!! I'm just not that person, and I don't want to be stereotyped as such just because of my gender. And I don't want my husband to be stereotyped as "whipped" or whatever, just because he has learned the art of compromise. He doesn't have to be a caveman to be a man... and I love him all the more for that.

Do we need to realize there are differences between the sexes? Yes. In order to understand the human condition, I think it's very important. But do we need to pigeon-hole EVERYONE and assume that's just the way it is? NO.

Maybe I'm just lucky that I am married to someone who is willing to compromise. We both have our separate interests-- and that's good!-- but I don't think that either one of us would ever sacrifice the importance of our marriage and togetherness simply because he's a MAN, DAMMIT!, and I'm some simp of a woman.

Random Musings- last day of April Edition

1. While driving home from work, I passed a kid dressed in a sombrero and poncho, dancing along the street. Teenage boy. DANCING. Like there was no tomorrow. And waving a sign about 99 cent tacos. Apparently, working at Taco Johns makes you really happy. Or really insane.

2. How much does sign waving in front of stores/restaurants actually work anyway? Anyone know this answer??

3. I really, really need to learn not to procrastinate. This is going to be one hellacious weekend. Work. Plus more work. Plus studying for a final. Plus writing a 5-6 page case study. All this weekend. Please send me good juju.

That's all for now. Thanks for being you. ;-)

Update: I almost forgot. It's spring. Finally, it's looking like spring too. Here's a couple of shots of the tree in front of my house that is FINALLY blooming!

A Quick & Easy Five Point Meme...

1. I love laughing with my family.

2. I wish that I had gone for a walk today and taken my camera to capture all the blooming and colors that are popping up.

3. I know I procrastinate too much, and it's going to catch up with me this week.

4. I appreciate that Jason Segal is secure enough to use his own body... including the junk... for comedic purposes.

5. I want to make some changes in my life, but I'm afraid I'm becoming complacent.

This one's easy. If you want to do it, just use the bolded words in your own list. Add a comment here if you plan to do it, so I can read yours too.

Warning-Serious and Thought-Provoking Post Ahead...

Sometimes, I worry about my "character."

Sure, I can be a caring person. I'm a good citizen. I respect most people. Well, that last one isn't always true, but I am respectFUL.

I don't know what I'm trying to say here... or even what I'm trying to learn about myself. Maybe it's about integrity. Do I always act with integrity? Do I make decisions based on what I believe to be right? I'm not sure I can answer that question with the response I WANT to provide.

And that's bothering me a little right now.

6 Word Meme

Sorry, Jen. Better late than never, right?


"SICK OF BEING SICK AND TIRED."

That's not necessarily who I am as a person... all thirty-mumble-mumble years of me. But it's definitely who I am right now. I'm sure the Farm Boy would agree wholeheartedly.

Why You Should Never Go To The Mall When You Are Bored...

My family decided to go to the mall yesterday... as a family. This meant my parents, my two siblings, a niece and a nephew, one of my kids, the Farm Boy, and me. I have NO idea what kind of wild hair instigated this family outing, but there you are.

Ordinarily, coordinating who would go to which area wouldn't be a big deal, but I forgot my phone. And the Farm Boy's phone died 2 minutes after we arrived, as he had forgotten to charge it the night before. Okay. Still no big deal. Seriously, what did we do before cell phones???

But here's what went down:

1. Parents went to the food court, then a store, and then said they'd be leaving after that.
2. Sibling #1 and niece went shopping for prom jewelry.
3. Sibling #2 and nephew went to the play area.
4. Daughter #1 wanted new jeans. Farm Boy and I sat in American Eagle waiting while she tried on 8 pairs of jeans.
5. I bought two pairs of jeans for Daughter #1.
6. As the three of us were walking back to find everyone else, Daughter #1 and I see a clothing store with a 70% off sale. Conversation followed thusly:

Daughter #1: "Ooh! I still have a gift card for that store. Let's go there."
Me: [noting the eye-rolling coming from the Farm Boy] "Honey, why don't you go to a boy store for about 20 minutes and then meet us back in front of the Starbucks. Is that okay?"
Farm Boy: "Okay."

7. Fast-forward 20 minutes... I am purchasing 2 pairs of pants, a few shirts, and a couple of spring sweaters (I LURVE sales and am a retailer's dream). I'm not quite through with my choices, but Daughter #1 and I have already been in the fitting rooms, and we're on the downward slope to final decisions. It has been 25 minutes since we've seen the Farm Boy.
8. Farm Boy walks in the store. I'm feeling a little guilty about buying MORE clothes, plus knowing that we've gone over our agreed upon 20 minutes.
9. But then I notice something in his hands.
10. It looks like a warranty-service-receipt packet... you know, the kind you get when you buy major items??? Conversation followed thusly:

Me: [knowing about a big sale on plasma TVs in the same mall] "What did you do?!?!?"
Farm Boy: "You told me to keep myself busy for about 20 minutes."
Me: "But that means you spent about..."
Farm Boy: "Yes. Yes I did."
Me: "Well, then I'm not going to feel so guilty about what I'm buying. [eyeing a cute pair of cropped jeans] Oh! And I'm going to get these too. [eyeing a cute halter and sweater set] Oh! And these too!"

I think you get the picture. The moral of the story is:

Malls + Boredom= less money in your checking account. And maybe your savings account, too.

And now the Farm Boy has his gigantic plasma TV, and he's pretty happy. It's not as big as I am tall (see -r-'s description of H's)... but let's just say I couldn't hug the TV if I tried, because my arms aren't that long.

A Shoe Quest and Proof That I Named This Blog Correctly...

1. I'm looking for a pair of slingbacks, kind of like these, but I want them in green. Not "moss," not "neon lime," just a nice, muted, light green. I'd even go faux croc texture, if the color works. Maybe a lower heel, too, but that's not a deal-breaker.

Yes, I've already perused DSW, Macy's, Von Maur, local department stores, and all of Zappos, but I'm not finding what I want.

Suggestions?

I just bought these over the weekend (in dark brown patent)... in a department store... on sale. Love them. They're even "comfy!"

2. Stayed in a hotel over the weekend.

First night= peaceful and blissful. (imagine a celestial chorus sound here)

Second night= apparently, elephants stayed in the room one floor above us. Elephants or maybe toddlers who ran and jumped A LOT.

I could go into this huge tirade about how annoying it is when people don't consider anyone else but themselves, not even for a second considering that someone might want to be asleep at 11:30pm, and how I make my kids be super-dee-duper quiet whenever we're in a hotel, and since when is "having kids" an excuse to be rude and insensitive, since I have also lived through those ages and know that you CAN make it work... and let me say it was tough, but I also learned to request rooms on the first floor and away from people who might be disturbed by the slightest noise, etc....

...but I won't go off on that tirade. Nope. Did I mention that the noise started at 9:30pm and continued through the night? And that I think it stopped around 4:00am, but then started again at 7:30am? And did I also mention that, even though I am not THAT person, I also called the front desk, because it was so loud? Which leads to...

3. What is up with parents who insist on taking their young children to restaurants after 9:00 pm on a weekend and then allow said young children to run around the restaurant screaming and knocking people over... and then said young children start crying loudly because they're tired and just want to go home to bed...

...did I mention they annoy me? and why the hell did I spend so much frigging money on babysitters when my kids were young so that I could go out for some "adult time?" Apparently, that wasn't necessary?!?! Is it just me? I mean, are babysitters out of style? There are safe babysitters where I live-- as in boys and girls who take babysitting classes and even CPR classes to get certified. I just don't get it.

Gah. I am that old grumpy lady who hates everyone, aren't I? Well, at least I'll be wearing some sweet shoes amongst all the hatin'.

A Grumpy Vacation Pit Stop to Dave's World...

What do YOU want from your friendly gas station/Subway/local restaurant, conveniently located alongside an interstate in the middle of a very rural area? Looking for a cell phone-car charger? Got it. How about some marshmallows? Yep. Restrooms chock full of condoms? Of course! Even in the Ladies room! Funyuns? You betcha. No-Doz? Absotively, posolutely!An ice cream bar for the road? Who doesn't want some sugar for the road? This is Dave's World... and it doesn't stop there.

How about the best mullet you've ever seen? (If the dude sporting the 'do hadn't looked a little deranged, I might have asked him if I could take his picture... but alas, he looked a little deranged.) Within 30 seconds of us pulling off the highway to stop for a sandwich, Mullet Man walked in. As soon as he left, the runner-up for best mullet entered. It was mullet heaven in this place! Super business-like up front, and all party in the back. Mullet #1 put "Billy Ray Cyrus circa 1992" to shame. Maybe I'll get ambitious this weekend and draw a picture of these men, seeing as how I have no photographic evidence.

But was this the very, very best that "Dave's World" had to offer? Au contraire, mon frere. I submit that it was not.

How about decorative testicles? In HOT PINK, BLUE, TAN, and BLACK. You know... in case you want to hang them from your rearview mirror or your trailer hitch (had to look up the name of that... envy my mad Google skillz!). Okay, so I was too shy to take a picture of these. Plus Youngest Daughter was with me, and I have to pretend to be a grown-up around her.

While I'm sure that decorative testicles are great revenue-generators for Dave's World, I would probably rethink their strategic placement... smack dab across from the Subway booths. 'Cause personally? I'm not accustomed to viewing multicolored "sacks" while munching down on some of Jared's favorite meals. That particular product placement is pretty brazen, if you ask me.

So, I guess you could say that, in more than one way, Dave's World has got balls.

No Foolin'...

Rats. I didn't fool anyone yesterday with my post. Was I maybe just a BIT too obvious? ;-)

My annual fool on the Farm Boy didn't work either... I either call, email, or text him that "Oops! I'm pregnant."

His first response yesterday? "Woo hoo!"

That is simply not a good response.* Maybe I need a new fool for next year. ** Any suggestions?

*Our youngest of four is almost fifteen years old. Our mantra for the past 5 years has been NO BABIES. We're almost empty nesters!!!

**Part of the fun of having the same fool every year is awaiting his response. He's pretty creative, and usually quite funny.

5 Things About Me You Didn't Know- Special Holiday Edition

1. I wish I could be Britney Spears for a day.
2. I think Tom Cruise is the most brilliant person on this planet. And probably on Xenu, too.
3. The reason I don't blog more often is because I love my job so much. Even though I'm not really busy, I prefer working to blogging.
4. Mornings are my favorite time of the day. I wake up, spring out of bed, sprinkle flower petals behind me as a I walk, sing with my little animal and bird friends, and thank the heavens for such a lovely day!
5. I don't understand why people get road rage. Where I live, everyone drives courteously and safely, obeying all traffic laws. Road rage is completely unnecessary.

That's a quick five... I'm sure those of you who read here often already knew these things, right?!?

Hope your April has had a fabulous start!

Light Urple

In case you are unaware of the significance of "Light Urple"-- which I noted as one of the shades that I find most pleasing-- please follow this link. It's around 2:50 into the clip. Sorry... couldn't find one to embed.