A few of my favorite bloggers have recently posted some rather interesting anecdotes of accidentally peeing themselves (these two are really funny... nabbalicious and julie_gong). I thought... how brave! Could I tell a story like that about myself? Why not!?! I've known lots of people who have peed their pants. I know guys who have awakened from a deep sleep, dreaming they were finally allowed to relieve themselves in some glorious urinal... only to find that they were actually relieving themselves on a couch. This happens all the time, right?
Well... not counting the period prior to being potty-trained, I don't think I've ever done it. I've never peed my pants. In fact, I had the opposite problem.
I used to have a peeing PHOBIA. As in... I'm not at home? I can't pee.
Go to grandma's house? Wait all day until I go home... so I can pee. (oh the psychosis!) Spend the night at a friend's house? Yep... will have to run home in the morning so I can pee. Go to girl scout camp on a Friday and get home on Sunday? Uh... you guessed it. Held it ALL WEEKEND. (can you spell UTI?)
What the hell was wrong with me!?!?! I spent my youth suffering from chronic infections, because I couldn't TINKLE outside my own freaking home!! I tried. Lord KNOWS I tried. If it was a clean restroom, I could actually make it all the way into the stall. I would walk in, thinking, you can do it! You can do this! But, no dice. Not even a trickle. If it was a dirty restroom, I'd make it in as far as the sinks, and then turn right around. If it was an OUTHOUSE (like at girl scout camp)... hell no. Or to quote the whacked-out Miss Whitney Houston ... "HELL TO THE NO!"
Eventually, I outgrew it. Don't know how. Don't know why. I know... it's a little TMI, but none of you REALLY KNOW me, so what the hell.
*giggle, snort* I mentioned Whitney Houston and pee in the same posting. That's like a thousand points, right?
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5 comments:
I have so many friends who are like this. I feel bad for you I really do but lucky for me I can pee anywhere...
I think "hell to the no" will outlive most of us as a cultural milestone. You heard it here first!
You must have hella good PC muscles...and there are certainly some advantages to that!
I'm taking this a step further by saying that not only do I have difficulty peeing unless I am alone in a public restroom...unless it's a dire emergency, I can't bring myself to do Number Two either.
So there.
Oh, good God, Lori... NO. We NEVER do a #2 in a public bathroom... unless we are dying and it's either there or the floor. :-)
I agree, maliavale. At least it's better than "crack is whack" (I think?!?).
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