Friday, November 17, 2006

A "Looks Like I'm Batchin' It Tonight" Friday Why Files

WHY #1: Why did I lie down last night at 8pm only to awaken at 3:30am? Wow. That was some heavy sleepin'! Farm Boy is out of town, so I guess that's okay.

WHY #2: Why don’t people listen to me when I tell them things? Honestly… if I had a nickel for every time someone has said, “I wish I had listened to you in the first place”… I’d probably have a bajillion, kajillion nickels. (and since those are made up numbers, I have no clue how to convert them to US dollars). When are people going to realize that I KNOW stuff?!?!? Gah. Incidentally, I don’t know everything, but I do know quite a lot of stuff. Seriously. Believe me, because later on, you’ll wish that you had. ;-)

WHY #3: Why would I want a “pan, a comb, and perhaps a cat?” I’m allergic to cats, but that one I can understand. The other two, though? Huh? What if I want a brush instead? And the pan? Does that mean I’m expected to cook? Puh. Leeze.

WHY #4: I know it’s a tradition, not anything new, and I’m not really asking WHY they make it... what I want to know is WHY do people actually DRINK this stuff?

The dessert sodas… sure. Great. But Turkey and Gravy soda? Pea soup soda? Excuse me. I may go retch now.

WHY #5: Why can’t we sue parents for being interminably stupid? And why do I have a sinking feeling that they’ll probably win in court anyway?

Parents sue Starbucks over child's burns (

Hmmm… it was hot chocolate. HOT chocolate. Not LUKEWARM chocolate. Nor was it TEPID chocolate.

Personally, when I go through a drive-thru and order a hot drink, I put it in the cup holder until it’s no longer nuclear. Never, and I repeat NEVER, would I pass along a hot cup of anything to a child. Period.

We must stop rewarding the morons with big settlements won in frivolous lawsuits. However, if you think about it, most often they are decided by a jury of their peers. Their peers are probably morons, too.

Don’t you wish Common Sense came in a pill? Ah, but I digress…

This concludes today’s Friday Why Files. Happy Friday!


lizgwiz said...

I would love a Common Sense pill. I don't need it personally, of course, but I'd like to spread them liberally amongst my acquaintances. And if there had been a Common Sense pill, I wouldn't have been forced to break up with my boyfriend in 1987. He was brilliant, and yet...hadn't a clue.

Anonymous said...

I think you were bored.

I always listen to you.

A bunch of years ago, when I was reading Hubbards fiction, I read statement his son made re. Hubbard and Scientology. He said the L.Ron wrote it as a joke to prove how gullable people can be. I guess he proved his point.

Yuck to the sodas.

I think the mother should be charged with child endangerment and child abuse and then shot for stupidity.

Margus said...

turkey soda, I'd give it a shot. It's probably better than Mountain Dew.

don't call me MA'AM said...

lizgwiz: yeah, I'd be right there, too. In fact, there are days when i probably need one, too!

goldennib: Not bored... just exhausted. And thanks for always listening! ;-) As for the Scientology thing... that's interesting! I might have to do a little research on that.

margus: I bet you would... and Mountain Dew is icky. I can't drink anything that looks like a urine sample.

therevhead said...

one bajillion, kajillion nickels =
five hundred kwillion kwillion pesos =

Anonymous said...

I'm going out on a little skinny limb here - having ordered many a "child's" hot chocolate for my youngest at Starbucks - I can say that they advertise the fact that it is lukewarm, which makes it safe for little ones. My son has even complained because it was so much cooler than what I'd give him at home. I think the person at the drive-thru window just took a short cut and gave the kid the same super-hot stuff he/she gave the mom. I feel sorry for Starbucks for hiring a moron who scalded a child out of laziness.

don't call me MA'AM said...

rev: Yay! I go to Cancun then. ;-)

tammara: Regardless, I still think it's pretty negligent when a parent hands a "hot" drink, lukewarm or not, to a child young enough to be in a child seat, riding in a car. Somewhere, as a parent, I have to take responsibility regarding the things I give my children. She easily could have tested it first.