Friday, March 31, 2006
Random Friday Reveries...
2. Could I BE any less enthused for the opening night of Basic Instinct 2? If I hear one more tv personality tell Sharon Stone how great she looks, I'm going to barf.
Do you hear that Sharon Stone? That is the sound of your career waning away, because you refuse to find roles for SOMEONE YOUR AGE.* You are almost 50. Act it, for God's sake! You are not an ingenue anymore (not that you ever were really naive or innocent, though). The "vixen" role over the age of 50 is still very much owned by one Miss Joan Collins... so give us all a break, okay?!?
3. Had lunch with my mom and my one-year-old nephew today. A pair of bright blue baby eyes always make you feel like life is good.
4. I know there is a logical (although that point may be argued) reason for Daylight Savings Time. However, I am not holding anything back when I say that it TOTALLY SUCKS. I have enough trouble with my sleeping habits. Throwing me off an hour twice a year is just stupid ('cause it's all about me, right?!?). Plus, tomorrow afternoon, I will be driving to South Dakota for a school activity. At the end of the activity, we will leave South Dakota around 11-11:30pm. By the time we arrive back home, it will be about 2am. But... that's when Daylight Savings Time begins. SO, it will technically be 3am. GAH! Do we really need to keep doing this?
5. Funniest quote I heard today-- "Advice to prospective applicants for Naomi Campbell's new personal assistant: #1) Don't work for Naomi Campbell. #2) Especially don't work for Naomi Campbell if she has a cell phone in her hand." What a crazy bitch. How many times does she get to do this... and get away with it?
6. Someone at work keeps turning my wee little garden gnome around on my desk so that he can't see. WTF?
7. Our Chicago trip itinerary is almost 100% ready. Google Earth is ever so helpful! [wonders if the Farm Boy knows how much shopping he is going to endure?]
8. I'm in such a good mood today. "Spring Break" commences at 5pm today. I don't work at all next week (WOOT!). I'm listening to a little Electric Light Orchestra today-- Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, noooooo! How could I possibly be in a bad mood? And, there's a hockey game tonight. Yeah, it's just all good. :-)
Happy Friday!
*Yes, I know. Roles for women over 40 are definitely hard to come by. BUT... if she keeps uncrossing her legs, she's not going to find any good roles anyway.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Gee... what a surprise (mild sarcasm)...
Pure Nerd 95 % Nerd, 47% Geek, 21% Dork |
For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST |
Frustration...
My frustration level is about terror level orange right now. No, maybe it's red. I don't know. All I know is this totally sucks.
I have been SOOOO good about eating well. I don't consume more than 1200 calories a day (yes, even on days when I go to Chipotle). I haven't eaten a doughnut in over a year, I think. I stay away from horribly fattening things... and when I DO indulge, I usually share a dessert with my husband. That funnel cake I blogged about a while back (not enough time to find the link)... haven't had one since.
I'm working out intensely 2 days a week with a physical therapist for an hour and 15 minutes, and doing home exercises every other day of the week. Because of back problems, I'm not allowed to work out like I used to... and that includes walking on a treadmill... for now. I'm getting better, so that's just temporary. But the home exercises are Pilates and other similar types, so they're effective. Heart rate is up during exercise time, and muscles are getting work.
So, I'm starting to feel better anyway. But have I lost any weight. Nooooooooooooooooooooo... I'VE GAINED TWO LBS.
This TOTALLY sucks.
My husband says, "it's muscle weight." Whatever. You can tell me that all you want, but when my freaking clothes don't fit, IT'S A PROBLEM. Plain and simple.
So, now I'm depressed... and angry. Grrr!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Yay! It's here, it's here, it's HERE!!!

My Chipotle t-shirt arrived today! WOOOOOOT!!!
Here I am, dancing and showing some attitude (singing, "I have a new Chipotle shirt, and you don't!") in front of the piano. I think I could have bought a smaller size, though. I could basically wear this as a dress and NOT get arrested.
Yes, it's a horrible picture, but a) I didn't take it, and b) I had to crop the hell out of it.
Want to order one for yourself? Go here. I also bought my baby nephew a bib... there are a few cute items for sale. Go see. :-)
Monday, March 27, 2006
No, it's not lice. And no, it's not fleas...
Very recently, my scalp has started to hurt. Not all over... just in certain places: small sections starting just a little past the temples, one spot right at the crown, and two other spots, just right and left of the back center of my head.
I have never had dandruff. I haven't changed hair products. I haven't recently had my hair dyed.
It started off as just somewhat itchy. And I've noticed that there are areas where I feel like there are scabs (sorry, it's not as gross as it sounds). There is no oozing or anything that would make me feel like there's an infection or even in-grown hairs. Now, it doesn't itch anymore. It BURNS. My scalp feels like it's on fire. En fuego!
I haven't called my doctor yet, but I tried to do a little searching online. The only thing I can find short of psoriasis is the same blasted excuse I've found for everything else that has gone wrong with my health the last few years: STRESS.
Please, PLEASE someone tell me that you have either heard of or experienced something like this... and that stress is not the cause. Because, short of quitting my job which is not an option but you already knew that, there's not going to be a lot of stress relief in my life for at least a few more months.
The one and only variable within the last few weeks is that I have started Aquatic Therapy. BUT... before you go all "A-Hah!" on me, Watson... I never put my head in the water. My hair never touches the water. In fact, I'm only in water up to my shoulders. The water is highly chlorinated, but it doesn't reach to my scalp. Is there such a thing as chlorine vapors that could be doing this? (yeah, it's late, and I can't sleep because my scalp hurts... and I'm stupid right now. Sue me.)
I'm interested to hear if any of you have heard of something like this... thanks for playing.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
Random Friday musings while working a half day (woot!)...
2. Have you seen those animated ads online for Lamisil? You know the ones where they show that nasty little digger creature that is to represent the fungus that grows under your nails? AND... they show, in ANIMATION, the toe nail lifting up from the top of the toe? *cue nausea*
May I please beg someone to stop these ads? They appear everywhere, and they aren't even pop ups I can block. Imagine opening your email or some news site, and BAM! There goes that toe nail. Owie, owie, OWIE. If you've ever injured your toe and had the toenail come off, you can imagine the pain involved. And now, every time I see that ad, I relive the pain. And it makes me gag. Literally.
3. The Today show did a segment on a real-life Mrs. Doubtfire yesterday morning, but I missed most of it... and I can't find the story online ANYWHERE. I will dedicate an entire post (read here: a significant holla singing your detective skills prowess) to whomever can provide me a link to read about this. MSNBC doesn't have it anywhere on their site.
4. I have resorted to listening to a cheesy pop song EVERY morning that, for some reason unbeknownst to me (or anyone else for that matter), puts me in a GOOD mood. So for the sake of all humankind, I listen to it over and over and over again. And it's working. What's worse... it's in Mandarin Chinese, and I haven't learned all the words yet. So I can't even sing along to the whole thing. Arrrgh. But the operative phrase is: IT'S WORKING!
5. Nabbalicious briefly mentioned encounters (or "non-encounters") with stalkers. That reminded me of the time I had a stalker.
I used to be a corporate end-user application trainer. So, in the course of two years, I had trained 1000+ people in and around the city where I worked. Occasionally, we'd get what we called "training groupies," people who liked to hang around and talk after the training session... and who would also sign up for anything and everything we taught. One groupie became a little obsessive with me. And it was scaaaaaaaarrryyyy! He worked for a company that shall remain nameless (but it's responsible for little blue pills for men and little pink pills for those who have allergies). I trained there a lot, and he took a lot of my classes.
Soon, I noticed a strange car in our office parking lot. It was there every morning when I came in to work, and it was there every evening when I left. Someone was always sitting in the car, too. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until an office mate noticed WHO it was. It was the groupie. A few days after that, flower deliveries came to my desk every day for a month. A MONTH! I was getting really scared, and of course, the police wouldn't do anything. I ignored this guy whenever I went to his company to train, and we started sending different trainers if he registered for one of my classes. One guy I worked with also went out to our parking lot one day to tell him he was trespassing. I think he threatened him a little, too. After that, he just disappeared, and I never saw him again.
That was 6 years ago, but it still creeps me out a little. And that's probably why I'll never post my picture in any of my posts. Ya never know who's lurking...
Okay... that was not a good way to end a Friday post! So, HAPPY FRIDAY everyone!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I feel so much better today...
2. I had the usual at Chipotle last night and ate 90% of my burrito. That's good enough. It counts. Woo hoo!
3. I just bought something SO INCREDIBLY COOL! As soon as it arrives, I will take its picture and post it. I can't wait... I'm almost going to spill the beans! heh heh
4. It is nearly impossible to buy a CD in the US (or even an MP3) for that matter if it's not an American artist or a "World Music" type of thing. If I want to buy a CD of a Chinese pop singer, Russian rock group, or an Australian band, it's nearly freaking impossible. Of course, if you go to a website in one of those countries that are not English-speaking* (especially China and Russia), you can't even fake your way through the language. ARRRGGGHHH! Anyone know of a TRULY international website in English? *sidenote: I actually can figure out the patterns in the symbols and find the tune(s) that I want, but I can't read the rest of it.
5. I haven't read blogs in almost two days. I think I'm going through withdrawals. Two bad those withdrawals don't result in extreme weight loss. ;-)
Tomorrow is Friday, PLUS... I only work half a day. Things are truly looking up. :-)
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Snow Day #2... and daytime TV still sucks.
1. I slept through the Today show this morning. You know how sometimes, when you sleep with the TV on, the people on TV are in your dreams? And now, you know where this is leading. My dream was a nightmare. Katie Couric and her freaky lip-linered lips were chasing me, and hollering something about the president. I woke up in a cold sweat... and changed the channel immediately.
2.Jonathan of Bravo's Blow Out is a pyscho. Why does this guy have his own TV show? "I live for hair." That's his motto. And he's straight. With a SUPER-SIZED ego. Ick. Non-stop commercials for this guy today. Double ICK.
3. I've been suckered into watching Celebrity Poker Showdown. I like playing Texas Hold'Em, but I don't care to watch the World Poker Tour or anything else remotely poker-ish on TV. But the TV has been stuck on Bravo (for some reason I can't explain), and I'm doing laundry. If I change the channel to some movie On Demand, I'll stop doing laundry. I'm just weird like that. So, poker it is.
Celebrity Poker cast today (it's a repeat): Wanda Sykes, Travis Tritt, Rosario Dawson, Jerome "The Bus" Bettis, and Mena Suvari. Wanda Sykes is hilarious as usual. Mena Suvari looks like a china doll. How do I get skin like that?!?!?
Oh, my good GOD. The hottie server girl that usually delivers the drinks to the celeb poker table.... just turned into a hottie guy. Wow. Wanda Sykes just lost all focus. He is wearing skin tight leather pants just below the hip bone. Oh my. At this point, I turn the channel over until the hottie guy is gone. (not really, I just said that for the Farm Boy's benefit... in case he's reading this).
4. Okay, enough of this. I have a load of jeans in the washer, and the girls are clamoring to get out of the house for a little while. Hopefully, my loser cruiser can make it through all the snow, so we can venture out for a bit of lunch. I plan on taking the camera with me to capture all the lovely snow sights along the way.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Spring is upon us...

... and, as usual, it delivers a crushing blow. How, you ask? By hiding behind a blanket, no a fluffy ONE FOOT down comforter of snow. Bah. At least we'll have snow days... probably two of them.
Photo from the Omaha World-Herald.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Begorra! It's Random St. Patrick's Day musings...
2. Do I really care if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie get married this weekend or not? Hmmm... NOPE.
3. Why would I EVER stop reading Jurgen Nation?
4. Every now and then, you just have to say "WTF", dish out some precious dinero, and take a trip to get the hell out of Dodge. We (Farm Boy and I) are going to do it, even if it's only for two days. Two weeks... and we're outta here.
5. Happy St. Patrick's Day, y'all.
Gabrielle made me do it...
Four movies you would watch over and over:
The Princess Bride (duh)
Overboard (Ya gotta know you were in the navy!)
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (You ain’t bona fide!)
Napoleon Dynamite (‘cause I have a crush on Kip)
Four places you have lived:
Hmmm… this is a hard one.
Nebraska (Omaha)
Nebraska (Lincoln)
Nebraska (Nebraska City)
Nebraska (Omaha again)
*snore* This will change after all the kids are gone.
Four TV shows you love to watch:
The Medium
Ghost Hunters
Miami Ink
Anything on the Discovery Health Channel
Four places you have been on vacation:
Edinburgh, Scotland
London, Cambridge, Oxford, and a few other places in England
Western Caribbean
Southern California
Four websites you visit daily:
All The Cool Kids’ blogs in my sidebar (I know… that’s more than 4)
Hotmail (even though I really should switch to Gmail, but I've had this email addy FOREVER)
Mostly work-related sites (read here: boring)
Four of your favorite foods:
Veggie burritos from Chipotle (duh)
Grilled chicken and spinach salad with feta cheese, cukes, tomatoes, and kalamata olives (mmmmm….)
Amaretto cheesecake
Seafood enchiladas
Four places you would rather be right now:
Drinking chai tea and reading a book in Barnes & Noble
On a golf course with the Farm Boy
On a power walk around a lake
Drinking margaritas with the girls
Four friends you are tagging:
Whoever wants to do it. Most of you already have in one form or the other. (Margus: are you still sore from the last time?)
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Creepy guys at the post office...
The gentleman in front of me was just finishing up as I walked in. He turned and smiled... initiated some small talk and lingered a little more than my comfort level with strange men would allow. Finally, he left and I started my transaction. I then hear another guy come in behind me... he was on his cell phone, I guessed, as I couldn't actually see him. I could hear him "Mm hmm"ing and "Noooo"ing to the person on the other end of the line. I could also hear him slurping on what I guessed was a piece of candy or something.
After a few seconds, he walks around to my right side and just starts staring at me. He's still on his phone, and now, from the corner of my eye, I can barely make out that he is, in fact, slurping on a lollipop. As I am trying to hurriedly finish my transactions, he's really starting to creep me out! Creepy lollipop guy won't stop STARING at me. So fine. Whatever. I'm a little cute.* But guys do not follow me around post offices as a general rule. I'm really starting to get creeped out, but I have not actually looked up and made eye contact yet.
So, I muster up the courage to return the staring... and hope I can use my most evil, crusty teacher stare to make him go away... and as I look up, I realize .... it's my brother. Laughing. his. ASS. off! I'm acting all weird, and he's been trying to catch my attention for 2 to 3 minutes now.
Yeah. I'm pretty much an idiot.
*I don't really think this about myself, so no lectures on vanity or conceit, please. The Farm Boy, who is a major hottie (and yes, I know he reads this now, but it's still true), does tell me this on occasion.
Tell me something I DON'T know...
You Are 40% Evil |
![]() A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. |
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Random sights...
- * 1 bottle of KY Touch Massage Oil in Bali Moonlight scent
- * 1 package of Magnum condoms (size XL)
- * 1 pack of AA batteries
(did they change their minds? Instead of a fun-filled night of massage and power toys, they decided to go home and watch a late night Simpson's rerun?!?)
2. Last night, on HBO's new show, Big Love:
- * Bill Paxton's ass
- * Under cover of a thin blanket, the result of Bill Paxton's character taking Viagra
3. This morning, while walking in front of a mirror:
- * my jiggly ass (what happened back there?!?! I used to have a small hiney!)
4. This morning, while walking through the hallways of an elementary school:
- * the ass crack of some guy filling out a form for his little girl's vision and hearing tests (I tried to look away, but he kept moving right in front of me! I had to walk around this ginormous ass crack!!!)
So... in less than 24 hours, these are the things I've seen. Is someone trying to tell me something?!?
The calm AFTER the storm...
I wore a heat wrap around my back all night. It doesn't feel better, but it doesn't feel worse either.
I don't feel like strangling anyone right now, so it might be okay to go to work.
Oy. I'm that cranky old lady that used to live down the street. Now she lives in my house. Kim and Whoorl, I think I AM turning into a Golden Girl. (I still get to be Sophia!)
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Look out... she's gonna blow...
1. If you are in a turn lane... a turn lane that has about 50 cars waiting behind you... and the arrow turns green... this is NOT the time to be looking passively around you. Nor is it the time to apply lip gloss. Nor is it the time to be talking to the children in your backseat. Nor is it the time to be CLUELESS. It is the time when you should have your senses so attuned to the timing of that changing light, that you almost seem to accelerate into the turn at the same time the light becomes green. I know. I KNOW. You must be careful that red-light-runners aren't coming in the opposite direction to broadside you. I KNOW! But use the freaking force, Luke... because I am not missing this light due to your inattentiveness!
2. If you feel like going for a peaceful, pleasure ride around the city in your jalopy/Lexus/piece of crap car... just for the heck of it, for the love of all that is holy... please wait until AFTER RUSH HOUR HAS ENDED. Or at least do the speed limit until no one is BEHIND you.
3. If you have been faithfully attending physical therapy sessions to strengthen your pathetic excuse for back muscles... to rid yourself of muscles so tight that they have been, on more than one occasion, likened to stone... and the exercises and aquatic therapy have been WORKING... THEN, when a new PT with a pierced tongue and belly ring asks you if you want to try something a little more advanced... tell the bitch to step off. Because... if you don't... your back will hurt like hell the next day, and you will be a raving lunatic.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Top 5 Favorite* Recent Inventions …
In no particular order:
NetFlix—no late fees ever! Sometimes, I hang on to a movie for months at a time and then watch at my own convenience. Many people complain that you don’t get your money’s worth at $19.98 a month. Considering we were paying $40-50 a month in late charges at Blockbuster, I’d say it’s definitely a bargain.
Febreze—if you have kids, dogs, or smelly boys in your house, this is a GODSEND. I especially like the Spring & Renewal fragrance right now. I use the fabric refresher and the air effects. That’s enough for me.
Apple’s iPod and iTunes—I am one of those suckers who will buy an entire CD because of one song I really, really love. Then either I get stuck with 12+ other songs I don’t like… or on the rare occasions (Fastball), I’ll find an entire CD I like. With my iPod, it doesn’t matter anymore. I can have all my favorite tunes in one place… I don’t have to juggle all those damn jewel cases anymore. Plus, if I want to buy one song or an entire album, iTunes gives me lots of options. And my cute little Nano fits in my purse, my pocket…
Downy Wrinkle Releaser—if you don’t have this product, RUN to the store now and buy it. Besides making your clothes smell Downy fresh, it also really works. Now, obviously, you can’t spray it on every fabric. But if you have a mental block against ironing jeans… or you’re just too lazy… you can “Downy spray” the creases and wrinkles out of your jeans. Or t-shirts. Or sweaters. Or pants. I don’t travel without it. I haven’t touched an iron in at least two years. If I’m not using our steamer, I’m using the Downy spray. Guaranteed.
New Skin Liquid Bandage —This is really a love/hate relationship. On one hand, it’s great for when you wear shoes that rub the back of your heels… if you are proactive, you paint a nice coat of New Skin on the back of your heel prior to wearing evil shoes, et voila! No blisters. If you are REactive, New Skin will still work. It will just sting like hell when you apply it. It’s a good antiseptic, but you pay for it. Trust me. When a 30-something woman is begging for someone to blow on her “ow-ee” because the liquid bandage really stings, you know she’s not lying. Benefit: the stuff stays on. For days. And days.
So, as I said... today, these are my Top 5. Tomorrow my list might include "the salad bar," or "green tea to go"-- you just never know.
What are your Top 5?