Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Random sights...

1. Last night in Wal-Mart (and I NEVER go to Wal-Mart!), left on a checkout counter:
  • * 1 bottle of KY Touch Massage Oil in Bali Moonlight scent
  • * 1 package of Magnum condoms (size XL)
  • * 1 pack of AA batteries

(did they change their minds? Instead of a fun-filled night of massage and power toys, they decided to go home and watch a late night Simpson's rerun?!?)

2. Last night, on HBO's new show, Big Love:

  • * Bill Paxton's ass
  • * Under cover of a thin blanket, the result of Bill Paxton's character taking Viagra

3. This morning, while walking in front of a mirror:

  • * my jiggly ass (what happened back there?!?! I used to have a small hiney!)

4. This morning, while walking through the hallways of an elementary school:

  • * the ass crack of some guy filling out a form for his little girl's vision and hearing tests (I tried to look away, but he kept moving right in front of me! I had to walk around this ginormous ass crack!!!)

So... in less than 24 hours, these are the things I've seen. Is someone trying to tell me something?!?

11 comments:

Julie_Gong said...

I watched a show on polygamy last night on Donny Deutsche and I wanted to kill every single mother effing one of those men who treat women like slaves. Stay in Utah you sick bastards...

I'm so sorry about this rant... it of course is not directed towards you but to the dirty effed up poygamists.

And I'm sorry about all the asses. It prob wouldn't have been as bad if they were nice asses (excluding yours of course)

I will stop now...

don't call me MA'AM said...

julie: I was also a little torn as I watched that new show... I kind of wanted to see it, but it the whole subject upsets me so much. The funny thing about it as I watched-- two thoughts ran through my head: 1) the obvious-- women are too competitive with each other for that to ever work well, and 2) after you watch all the women issues on the show, what man would WANT to have three wives?
;-)

hannah said...

I watched the Dateline about polygamists last week. This one lady who escaped the life helps women escape now. They have to leave in the middle of the night and promise to never return. Well guess what, 90% of those foolish women return. What a crock!

Also, just so you know, in the grocery store the other day, on the counter, was, and i shit you not, the new condoms that have a vibrating ring around the "opening". Pleasure for one or pleasure for all, I guess.

Master Peebody said...

Hehehe, thats pretty funny.

Jaek said...

Shit! I already paid for those, too.

...

The, uh...batteries, I mean...yeah.

...

don't call me MA'AM said...

hannah: I'm oddly intrigued. But I don't ever have to buy those things (anymore).

MPB: that is almost the exact same comment that you left in today's first post. Did you even READ this? or are you just doing a "hit and run" comment? haha ;-)

jaek: I KNEW it was you. Somewhere in the back of my mind... I just knew you had been at that Wal-Mart last night. hehe

Master Peebody said...

It wasn't exactly the same. They both made me laugh, so i said it was funny!

jurgen nation said...

RE: #1.: *snickering* What if their credit/debit card didn't go through? Heehee. Would you not just die?

Red said...

Bali Moonlight. Hahahahaha.

I prefer Carribean Sunrise.

don't call me MA'AM said...

MPB: I know... just giving you a hard time. :-)

jurgen: I never even thought about that! It would be embarassing enough to be buying that combination of items... but then to be denied. AH, sweet humiliation! ;-)

red: I actually had to look up the "scent." I just knew it had a purple cap. *giggle*

Maliavale said...

I'm scared to think of what Bali Moonlight actually smells like.