Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Look out... she's gonna blow...

I'm in such a bad mood all of a sudden. And my day didn't even start off badly at all. But as it wore on... grrr!

1. If you are in a turn lane... a turn lane that has about 50 cars waiting behind you... and the arrow turns green... this is NOT the time to be looking passively around you. Nor is it the time to apply lip gloss. Nor is it the time to be talking to the children in your backseat. Nor is it the time to be CLUELESS. It is the time when you should have your senses so attuned to the timing of that changing light, that you almost seem to accelerate into the turn at the same time the light becomes green. I know. I KNOW. You must be careful that red-light-runners aren't coming in the opposite direction to broadside you. I KNOW! But use the freaking force, Luke... because I am not missing this light due to your inattentiveness!

2. If you feel like going for a peaceful, pleasure ride around the city in your jalopy/Lexus/piece of crap car... just for the heck of it, for the love of all that is holy... please wait until AFTER RUSH HOUR HAS ENDED. Or at least do the speed limit until no one is BEHIND you.

3. If you have been faithfully attending physical therapy sessions to strengthen your pathetic excuse for back muscles... to rid yourself of muscles so tight that they have been, on more than one occasion, likened to stone... and the exercises and aquatic therapy have been WORKING... THEN, when a new PT with a pierced tongue and belly ring asks you if you want to try something a little more advanced... tell the bitch to step off. Because... if you don't... your back will hurt like hell the next day, and you will be a raving lunatic.

6 comments:

Jaek said...

Jaek cautiosly holds out a ten foot pole toward DCMM. He has a mild sedative attached to the end of the pole. Easy...easy...there you go.

Master Peebody said...

What gets to me is when people take off from the lights slowly. So slowly that only a few cars can get through before the lights turn red again. Are they so out of it that they don't care or even realise that there are people behind them? So i can relate to that one.

-R- said...

I was in the lane NEXT TO the left turn lane tonight. And the car in front of me in the lane NEXT TO the left turn lane stopped and put on its left turn signal. Despite the fact that the light for our lane was green. I honked, but I have a little weenie horn that emits glitter and streamers instead of an actual good, intimidating honk.

don't call me MA'AM said...

jaek: thanks. I needed that.

MPB: I KNOW! That happens so much around here. I guess I'm always conscious of who is around me... and I don't want to piss off other drivers.

r: I will never understand how people can be that stupid.... and I think a tax on stupid acts would still be a good idea.

Glitter and streamers?!? PRETTY! ;-)

Paisley said...

What bothers me even more are the 3-4 cars that turn once the green arrow has turned red preventing me from making my green arrow. I hate hate hate those people.

don't call me MA'AM said...

Me, too, paisley. Grrr... stupid people just piss me off. ;-)