Bubble Toes...NO. Smashed Toes... YES.

How lame do you have to be to injure your toes from doing absolutely nothing? Every toe on my right foot is "injured*," with the exception of my big toe and my pinky toe (you know... the one that went to market, and the one who went "wee, wee, wee!" all the way home).

First... let me clarify.

I did not injure my toes through:

a) a sports-related injury,
b) an accidental ramming of said toes into any type of furniture,
c) a drive-by vehicular toe accident,
d) a large mammal stomping on said toes.

No, Bloggy Friends, I injured my toes by.... wait for it... walking. I walked about 20 feet from my cubicle, and one of those steps made me feel like I had just crushed my toes. What the hell????

How can you injure your toes by just walking??? I was not wearing high heels or pinchy toe-d shoes. In fact, here's a pictorial for you.

I was not wearing these.













Nor was I wearing these.













I was wearing these. See? Low heel. Rounded toe. Perfect for NOT hurting the toes. (yes, and somewhat scuffed. I know. The weather sucks here.)



After a few days, they start to feel better, and then BLAMMO! It happens again. I try keeping pressure off the toes by walking on the left side of my foot and only putting pressure on my big toe.

Any diagnoses? Suggestions? 'Cause I feel pretty ding-dang-dong foolish right about now.

*They aren't broken. I've broken toes before due to a, b, and d above, so I know what broken toes are. They are just... sprained? I don't know!

He's My New Favorite...

JOC... spoofing Tomas Crazy. JOC rules.

If you want to see the original and haven't yet... go here.

On a sadder note, RIP Patrick Verona.

Wah. I'm Whining. What Else Is New?

I miss my blog.


I miss my bloggy friends.


I missed my blog's birthday in October. I missed posting about my fabulous "blate" with -r- and Nat back in December (they're both the coolest, you know). I missed posting about New Year's. I missed posting about my own birthday.

So... let's just see if we can get back into the swing of things, eh? I'm just going to have to suck it up, stop using how busy I am as an excuse (even though I'm tres tres busy), and blog. Right? Do I hear an AMEN?

Unwrapped is on TV right now, and Marc Summers (he of the Super Sloppy Double Dare fame) is talking about the Frosty from Wendy's. He just noted that one unusual fact about Frosty's is that people love to dip their fries into them. Something about the saltiness of the fries and the sweetness of the chocolate Frosty just go hand in hand.

Sounds digusting, right?

But I have to admit that I used to LOVE dipping fries into my Frosty. Ack. Now I'm hungry for a Frosty.

Did you ever fry-dip your Frosty? How about any other unusual food combinations?

Open Letter to A Wireless Company...

... whose name may or may not rhyme with Print.

Dear Print,

When I cancelled my services with you in mid-October, I thought I was done with you. Done with your lame, cryptic bills that even nuclear scientists and calculus scholars shake their heads at. Done with your pathetic customer service reps who fail to respond to the simplest of questions. Done with being charged outrageously for text messaging that we didn't even have. I THOUGHT.

After arguing in October with one of your lame customer service folks for 30 minutes on the phone regarding WHY I was cancelling... and really? If I say I want nothing more to do with you, do I NEED to go on for 30 minutes relating the exact same thing? No, I think not... the process was finally explained about porting my numbers over to my new company (whose bills I love, btw, and whose customer service people actually have intelligent conversation capabilities). We discussed my final bill, which was paid prior to the numbers finally being ported out. I was suspicious that the relationship was really considered "over," but you reassured me it was.

Thinking it couldn't possibly be over, a month later, November 12 actually, I called your customer service number again... since I hadn't heard "boo" from your company, I was wondering if it really was over. Additionally, I was certain there were at least SOME charges still left over. When I called customer service on that lovely November day, I was told, "No, your account balance is zero. You owe nothing more." Still uncertain, I asked if there would be any more charges, yet you told me no. I asked for some kind of final document acknowledging the finality of it all and was given a bit of a run-around, but then reassured again that this was the end.

I knew it was too good to be true. Over a month later (today to be exact), I receive a collection notice from you, Print, stating that I still owe $176. When, in my fury, I called your (lame) customer service, first I was put on hold for over 10 minutes. Then you disconnected me. So I called back. Then I spoke with a floor supervisor who proceeded to tell me that I was charged from October 15 through November 7 for three phones that we weren't even using, because you don't just cancel phones willy-nilly. Oh, no! That would be too easy. So, you charged me for three phones I didn't use because that's when the monthly billing cycle ended. Beyond how ridiculous that really is, Print, let me say this: you suck. You suck big time.

When I asked this floor supervisor why my November phone call to customer service didn't tell me I still owed $176. She tells me that it's possible that the billing cycle, which ended on November 7, hadn't posted yet to the accounts that the customer service reps can see. So it's possible that he couldn't see that I still owed nearly two hundred dollars. What a bunch of malarkey. Oh, but we're not done there.

NOW, this floor supervisor throws another one at me. I ask her for a final statement, because I never received that statement in November that she assures me was sent. Here's what she says (be sure to read this part carefully), "I'm sorry, but I can't send you a copy of that final statement. I want to, but the system won't allow me to, because your account was cancelled in mid-October." WTF? My account was cancelled, so they can't send me anymore information, but I still have to pay for something I didn't use while my account was cancelled? Again, WTF?

So, explain to me, Print, why the hell I should blindly pay this collection notice, which btw is probably affecting my credit rating thank you very much you pieces of crap, without any kind of detailed billing? Why should I pay for something I didn't even use?

I'll tell you this much... I'll probably pay it, because I am a law-abiding citizen, and I don't think it's worth the fight. But know this, Print, I will be telling EVERYONE I know about this wonderful situation you've decided to put me through. Oh, and our business is in the RFP process currently for wireless carriers. I can't wait to tell them my story. I'm pretty sure I know whose RFP will be in the garbage file.

Merry Effing Christmas, Print.

Sincerely,
A Very Disgruntled Ex-Customer

Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakuh!

Wishing you all a joyous holiday season!

Five Thoughts...

1. I have one final on Wednesday, and then I am done with school for this semester. Huzzah. And it should be a really, really easy final. A bigger HUZZAH.

2. One week left of work before Winter Break. A ginormous HUZZAH!

3. How many 'Js' are there in the words, "upgrade you?" Oh, yeah. NONE.

4. Burger King wanted to prove how popular their Whopper is by taking it OFF their menu for a day? Wow. That's genius. Piss off your loyal customers for a day. Good thing I never eat Whoppers, or else I'd have to boycott them. But I never really go to BK anyway, so I guess they don't really care.

5. I was in a minor car accident about 3 weeks ago... just got my vehicle back. I'm glad to have it back because that means I'm no longer paying $180 a week in rental car fees... but I do miss the satellite radio in the rental car. Maybe SOMEONE will get that for me for Christmas (Farm Boy, this means YOU).

That is all.

Snow Day

We're snowed in today... kind of. We had ice and freezing rain first, then snow on top of that, so schools and some businesses closed. I still have to go to my grad class tonight, though. Taking the day off helped, so I was able to put some finishing touches on my final draft of my paper. I can also get some last minute studying done for my exam tonight. Gah. I'll be so glad when this semester is over.

Things are almost getting back to normal around here again. It's odd to see your home and its landmarks on national (and in some cases, international) news sites for days on end. People here are intent on healing, however, so I hope the focus can stay on that instead of the incomprehensible act itself.

On a much, much lighter note... Food Network is awesome. I've been receiving the 12 Days of Cookies emails for the last couple of weeks. I can't wait to try out some of the recipes. If any of them are even minimally successful, I might even post some pictures.

So... QUIZ TIME.

For those of you who celebrate the upcoming holidays, how many of you are:

a) completely finished shopping
b) have mailed or emailed (or posted online) your holiday greetings/cards/pictures/letters.
c) both a and b
d) have almost finished a and/or b
e) have started a and/or b
f) are you kidding? I don't worry about that until the day before the holiday!

Let me know. I'm interested... and I would also say that I am at E. Surprised? You shouldn't be. ;-)

It's Time for Healing...

Just requesting your good thoughts and prayers for the members of my community who were affected by the tragedy at one of our malls today.

Thanks.

Do Not Start THAT Again!

I'm in Earworm Hell. Please. Make. It. Stop.

Was sick over the weekend. Daughter #2 decided to comfort me by snuggling with me. Nice thought, but I didn't have the heart to tell her she wiggles too much when she snuggles. Ordinarily... that's not a problem at all. But Sickly McSickerson (as I've come to be known lately) doesn't appreciate wigglers.

But that's not why I'm in hell. No, I wish that was all it was.

You see, Daughter #2 started channel surfing. And lo, it crept upon me so suddenly, I didn't even see it coming. Yes, it is the nightmare/cult classic that is Grease 2. And she begged me to watch it with her. I rolled over and tried to sleep to no avail.

Oh, sure. If you watch that cinematic feat of 1982 with the volume turned down, it's not so bad. If you listen to any of the parts that Lorna Luft sings, or even Michelle Pfeifer and Adrian Zmed (yes, THAT Adrian Zmed) in some songs, you'll be okay. But God help you once Maxwell Caulfield opens his mouth. With the volume on mute, he's a joy. Volume up? Not so much. Or Maureen Teefy. *shudder* Actors? Yes. Yes, they are. Singers. No. Not even close.

Here's the funny thing about Grease 2. Some of the songs are entertaining. We're not talking the caliber of the original Grease, but still entertaining. SOME.

Like, "Reproduction." Funny song. I might even be able to laugh at "Let's Do It For Our Country," but Maureen Teefy's voice couldn't even be helped along in post-production. Seriously? You can't make her sing in tune with all the fancy doo-dads and gadgets in the recording studio? Yikes!

As for the rest of the score? Ouch. Eeek. Gah. And because they are so bad... they stick in your head FOREVER!!!! (wait, I think I need another exclamation point or two)!! Watch that movie. I dare you not to get "Cool Rider" or "Who's That Guy" or "Score" stuck in your head. Try not to laugh during the pseudo-serious dream/heaven sequence with Michelle Pfeifer and Maxwell Caulfield. I double-dog dare you!

What's scarier is that you will be singing along with your earworm, and you won't even realize it until you're caught. I walked through the office yesterday singing, "Who's That Guy, on that motorcycle... what would they say if they knew it was Michael." Busted. Laughter erupting all around me. Those are HORRIBLE lyrics! Ack! And I was singing them! OUT LOUD!

Must go bury my head in the snow (due to lack of sand) for shame.

She AWOKE With a Start...

Okay. I had to break my blogging silence (not intentional, mind you) to beg you all for some help. Words are driving me crazy. Specifically certain words and their use... or misuse.

Isn't it scary how words are used incorrectly for such a long period of time that they eventually become REAL? Ack! The horror of it all!

How... Is... That... LOGICAL?

So, along the same lines then... if, for the next 20 years, I keep saying that 2+2=5 , we'll just accept that as fact? No, I think not.

My pet peeve word this week is AWAKE. Yes, "awake" is a word. So, is "wake," "awaken," and "awoke."

Notice: there is no "waked" or "woken." Not real words.

Au contraire, ma petite chou-chou! Not so fast. Look them up in the dictionary, and THEY. ARE. THERE.

WTF?

Those are not real words, but people use them all the time. One of my friends was telling me the other day that she was "woken up by the cries of her little dog." I didn't say anything, of course. I'm only Super Grammar Cop when I'm in disguise. I couldn't reveal my alter ego right in front of her! But I digress...

That's almost as bad as the worst possible word on the planet: irregardless. That is NOT a word. By definition, it contradicts itself. Yet, people actually use that word. Gah. Oh, yeah... and if you search enough, you'll find a dictionary that recognizes it as a legitimate word. Again, I ask, WTF?

Oh, and it gets better... "irregardless" is listed as a synonym of ... wait for it... "regardless." Exactly.

So, again, I ask WHY? I don't understand how we can accept the corruption of our own language. I'm not a complete language freak non-stop, 24/7. I do use colloquialisms, "yeah" and "yep," and we know all too well my affinity for the points of ellipsis. Not exactly perfect/proper all the time.

But for the love of Bob, how many more words are we going to just give up and say, "Oh, what the hell! Everyone THINKS it's correct, so let's just make it a word."

End rant here.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, so apparently, I only blog on holidays now. NOT true... it just seems that way.

Quick recap of stuff that's been happening:


Wrote a secondary research paper for one grad class. The draft is finished and turned in, but now I have to go back and edit/revise. Bleh. I want to be done with this already.


Wrote a grant project for another grad class. Again, draft is finished and turned in... now it's revision time.


Monday, it was 73 degrees. Lovely weather, but not typical November weather for this place. In response then, it snowed all morning today. Not just "light flurries" like they said... actual snow with accumulation! Ah, I love the midwest. Or maybe not.


Other than that, I haven't done much of anything else. Work. Go to class. Cart Child #2 to activities. Attend said activities. What a glamorous life I lead. ;-)


One more thing... it just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an appearance from Goofy Gobbles, right?


Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Halloween...

... from my dogs who are just thrilled to be in costume. Can't you tell?

Oooh! Spooky eyes!

Yep... Still Busy.

So, for your listening/viewing enjoyment:





I know. It has nothing to do with Halloween, but since I'm drowning in Baroque music history, I just have to share.

No, Not THAT Kind of Break...

Oh, my long neglected Little Blog. I miss you. And I miss all the friends we have, too. It's been over a week since I've even had a minute to read someone else's blog. Boo.

So, here's the deal-io, yo. I have two ginormous grad class projects due November 6 and 7. Until those deadlines are gone, you and I are just going to have to agree to see each other very sporadically and casually... and not fret that one is neglecting the other. Do you hear what I'm saying, Little Blog? It's not like I'm out there writing other fascinating, mind-blowing blogs*, honest. The only other blog in my life is my professional blog, which, in fact, gets updated far less frequently than you do (and that is entirely bass-ackwards, if you think about it... but c'est la vie).

I think this will make us stronger in the future. In fact, I'm sure I'll have TONS of things to write about, once we start seeing each other regularly again. Now, don't get all discouraged about readership and page views. For that matter, don't even check your SiteMeter stats. It will just get you all depressed, and then where will you be???

So, we're good now, right? Right? Good. If I get a chance, I'll stop by and say hi. But mostly, I'll have my head buried in books and articles and spiritless websites with stuffy, stale information for a secondary research project. Yippee.

Catch ya on the flip side.

One quick note, the Farm Boy and I will be making a short trip to Lost Wages this week to celebrate a birthday on his side of the family. The break might be just what I need... or else it might provide me some quiet, alone time in the hotel room to work on my projects while the Farm Boy golfs and gambles with his family. ;-)

*Hey, if we're pretending this blog has feelings, we can also pretend that it's fascinating and mind-blowing. Just roll with it.

Sick of Being Sick...

Ever seen The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? (Many of you will be too young for that reference.) Or even Bubble Boy? I'm beginning to think I need a bubble. I'm home with the flu... again. What? Is this my third or fourth time since September? I think that's about right. I can't even get my flu shot until next week.

Apparently, I have no immune system. Right about now, I'd take that bubble.

Make It Stop...

For the love of God, somebody please put some duct tape over Ann Coulter's mouth. Please. I don't care to which political affiliation you associate yourself, nor which religion, if any... this woman is just plain offensive.

My Apologies... to Blogger and to my Right Hand.

Well, I have unfairly blamed Blogger for my recent inability to login or even comment on other blogs. Apparently, we are having browser issues. On more than one computer. Yikes.

But this one works!

So, what have I been up to? I've taken two major tests in one of my grad classes. I'm certain I aced one... have no idea about the second. Not sure what he wanted, which doesn't make me feel good. But for two questions that were to be essay answers, I wrote 8 pages. EIGHT. OCHO. Excessive? I think not. However...

I can't feel my fingers on my right hand. I don't write anything anymore... it's all type-ity type type, clackety clack on a keyboard. I wasn't even sure my right hand remembered HOW to write. Apparently, eight pages later, it did.

Honestly... beyond signing a few checks here and there and maybe a few legal documents every so often... I don't write anymore! In high school and undergrad classes, writing eight pages would have been a piece of cake. Not so much now. Oh, well.

As for the school stuff, I still have a project to finish, a 25 page secondary research paper to begin (due Nov. 6... eeeek!), and three more tests. All this for 6 lousy credits. Gah. Credits that won't get me any salary advancement or that are 100% necessary. Color me stupid.

Sooooooo, now that I know Blogger doesn't hate me, I guess I'll be around again. Not that I have oodles and oodles of readers anymore. :-)

On that fabulously, self-pitying remark... please leave a comment. I just want to know who's around without having to check my Sitemeter stats. Pretty please?

So Much To Do, So Little Time- Part Infinity

Gah! Seriously. 2 graduate classes on top of full-time job on top of mommy/chauffeur duty on top of...

I need a vacation.

Or a mojito.

I sense several upcoming meme posts, because I don't think I'll have time to think of anything too original. My apologies.

Best Laid Plans

I had so much planned to do this week. I had great blog posts. I was going to study for my upcoming tests like a mad woman. I was even appropriately ambitious about cleaning house.

And then I got the flu. Boo.

Not the pukey flu... it was the "achey, feel like I'm going to die from nothing" kind of flu. Gah.

So, very little was accomplished. I did a little studying for a test I have next Tuesday, but that's about all. And now I'm sitting here, listening to a football game, and thinking I have so much to do I don't even know where to start.

I feel a little better now, so what do I do? I blog. Brilliant.

Tell me to go study. Tell me to take my youngest shopping for some clothes that fit her (she won't stop growing!). Tell me to do some laundry or something.

Really? You're Going to Wear THAT?

Pet Peeve of the Week:

Mommies who wear suggestive clothing while walking their kids to school, shopping with their kids, etc.

If you're over 30 and walking your child into his or her school, the word "JUICY" should not be printed across your chest or derriere.

Along those same lines, your child's schoolmates have no need to see your cleavage. Or your butt hanging out of those Daisy Dukes. You're a mom. Remember that.

You don't have to wear the stereotypical "mom jeans" with a waistline that reaches your ribcage. I'm not saying you need to wear a burkha, either. Just please look in the mirror... if you think you look hot*, think about changing your clothes. Save the hot clothes for the weekends with your significant other. Cover up for your kids and their friends.

That's all. Thank you for listening.


*Yes, yes. I know. Some women are lucky enough to look hot, even if they're wearing a pair of farmer's overalls. That's not what I mean. It's the moms who try to look 'sexy' when they're out with their kids that are bugging me this week. I'm a mom. I want to look good, too... I'm just not out to seduce my kids' friends or their teachers.