Well, there really aren’t words for tonight’s episode, other than oh.my.god. I’m glad these people are on this show to win money for a charity. Otherwise, they should all be handed forty lashes. And NOT with a wet noodle.
So the show starts out with duets. We have six people left from last week.
The duets are:
Carmine Gotti Agnello/Bai Ling singing Summer Nights from Grease. Now we know why Carmine has been given rap songs the last two episodes. The dude CAN’T SING! He made Bai Ling look like the stronger singer. No… REALLY!
Larry Holmes/Michael Copon singing Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart, the Elton John/Kiki Dee classic. Again, Michael Copon can sing. Larry, ummm… no. But, why would they give hetero guys THIS song to sing? Of course, they changed the lyrics to try to make it work, but it didn’t. Lame. Very lame.
Antonio Sabato, Jr./Morgan Fairchild singing I’ve Had the Time of My Life, from Dirty Dancing. Another ant-gasm from Ant. He loves Antonio. Again, Antonio should stand still and not make a sound. That’s all he needs to do. Morgan Fairchild can’t make an expression other than a smile because she is so plasticized. Of the three duets, this was the most tolerable.
On to the competition…
Carmine is first up—sings Usher’s You Remind Me. Awful. DREADFUL. EXCRUCIATING. This guy can barely rap… he absolutely CANNOT SING. 10 thumbs down (I had to borrow some thumbs… two thumbs down is not enough!)
Bai Ling—sings Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Actually, she screeched through most of it. I think people keep voting for her so they can see how kooky she’ll dress each week. My brain hurts just remembering her performance. Thumbs way down.
Michael Copon—sings Bon Jovi’s You Give Love A Bad Name. Not his best performance, but at least he can carry a tune. Easy on the eyes, and he can actually move without looking like he’s in pain. Thumbs up.
Morgan Fairchild—sings Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain. She has the attitude to pull this song off, plus it’s definitely in her vocal range. She’s from the old school of performers, and this one actually worked for her. Thumbs mostly up.
Now comes the time when they’re down to two “singers,” but one won’t get to perform tonight: Antonio Sabato Jr or Larry Holmes. Gee… what was my prediction from last week? That’s right—Later, Larry!
So, Antonio performs Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love. If he would just take my advice—stand still, don’t sing—he’d probably win. Ant tells Antonio that he’s addicted to him. Hmmm… Ant/Antonio. Coincidence? But I digress… still a thumbs down. Sorry, Antonio.
My prediction for next week? I have no clue. If America had any brains at all (and we know they don’t), Carmine would be the next to go. But, there are too many stupid teenage girls who, for some unfathomable reason, consider him a hottie. I don’t think he’ll be voted off. Bai Ling should also go, but see reasons above why she won’t. My guess is Morgan Fairchild. The average VH1 audience is too young to even care about her – or even know who she is (was), so she’ll probably be voted off. That’s my prediction. Go to VH1's But Can They Sing site to vote.