Monday, November 21, 2005
VH1’s But Can They Sing, Part Quatre
Before I recap the show, I just want to state my disdain for American TWEEN girls. These girls are in the 10-13 year old age group, and my guess is they are the only thing keeping Carmine Gotti Agnello in this show. No, wait… he’s not only still in the show, he’s in the LEAD. Yes, as in most votes even AFTER he caterwauls like a stoned tomcat who is three days malnourished.
Who is Carmine Gotti Agnello you ask? EXACTLY. He is the grandson of the “last” crimeboss/mobster, John Gotti. Why should he be any kind of a celebrity just for that fact alone? EXACTLY. His mom, Victoria Gotti, is the star of her own celebrity/reality show, Growing Up Gotti. Carmine also stars in the show. So, let me see… Gramps was a NY mob boss, convicted and incarcerated, and later died in prison after serving only 10 years. Mom is a mafia princess on a reality show. I don’t really see any other “redeeming” factors to relate about her. Carmine is her son. That’s about it. I’m posting a picture of him so you can try, try, try to see why these little girls all love him so much and therefore vote and vote and vote. ‘Cause dude cannot sing!
Enough of the rant… on to the recap, in order of appearance:
Michael Copon—sang Montell Jordan’s This Is How We Do It. Although not entirely comfortable with the hiphop genre (he has been singing rock songs each week), I think he pulled this off. As I’ve said before, he is the ONE person who actually has some singing talent. He sang in tune, voice was strong, and he definitely tried to match the feel of this style. The guy also has some moves and is the strongest contestant. He SHOULD win. I don’t think he will, though, due to the issues I mentioned above (read here: stupid American teenage girls). Thumbs way up.
Morgan Fairchild—I admit when I’m wrong, and I was wrong last week. I thought for sure she’d be voted off, even if it wasn’t deserved. Morgan did pretty well last week with You’re So Vain. Her performance obviously went well enough to keep her on this week. I’m pleasantly surprised. This week’s performance was Cher’s Believe. It wasn’t good. People don’t give Cher enough credit for her singing talent, and this wasn’t an easy song to sing. It was too much for Morgan. She is still a great performer, though, and she didn’t totally suck. Thumbs down, though.
Carmine Gotti Agnello—again, dude cannot sing. It pains me to watch and listen to him. Seriously. His task this week was Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative. This is a tough song, and Bobby can SING. As crazy as he is, Bobby’s got some pipes. Carmine is fundamentally without. During his “voice lesson” sessions, he asked if he could RAP this song. Well, duh… because he cannot sing! (how many times do I have to repeat this?!?!). He also can’t dance. No rhythm. He unzips his jacket to expose his little pigeon chest – and all the girls scream. Arrrrggghhhhh!!! I just can’t go on with this, because it’s too frustrating. The show is “But Can They Sing.” No, he can’t. So, why is he in the lead?!?! BIG THUMBS DOWN!
Here’s the part of the show where we learn who stays and who goes. We’re down to Antonio Sabato Jr. and Bai Ling. And… Bai Ling stays. So long, Antonio. Ant is having a meltdown. He has a serious thing for Antonio, as I have detailed in previous posts. Now he’ll have to live for Carmine or Michael. So, will Ant behave more like a 12 year old girl or a thirty-something gay man? My guess is that he will now crush more on Michael.
Bai Ling—sang The Ramones’ I Wanna Be Sedated. And yes… she should be. Sedated, that is. She screamed and howled through most of this. And yes… she took off more clothes. This is, again, the reason why she stays in the votes. People want to see what she WON’T be wearing each week. My Chihuahua howled through this performance. I think his ears hurt as badly as mine. She should be stopped. Not hurt in anyway… just some duct tape over her mouth. Yeah, that would be good. BIG THUMBS DOWN.
So that’s it for this week. If you’re watching – and not a 13 yr-old girl in America—please go to VH1 and vote for someone besides Carmine. I will have a major panic attack if this kid wins.