Unintentional Comedy from VH1- Part Cinq

I honestly don’t know if I can go on posting these recaps, except that next week is the finale. Thank God. I have endured more excruciating singing these last few weeks than ever before. And I used to teach teenagers how to sing. And I’ve also sat through drunks at karaoke. This show is worse. MUCH worse. Oh, and my Farm Boy, Westley, threatened to leave me if this went on much longer. I promised him that next Sunday night is the last. *whew*

So… last night, we were down to the final four: Bai Ling, Carmine Gotti Agnello, Morgan Fairchild, and Michael Copon. And because the good people at VH1 are ever so gracious, they let them all sing, even though one was going home. Gracious to the singers, yes. Gracious to their audience, NO. They started the night off with duets again. I’m not going over them, because they were just too atrocious to be worthy of recounting.

Bai Ling- sang Volare. This song has been covered more than any other Euro song ever (or so I’ve read), most notably by Ella Fitzgerald, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and David Bowie, just to name a few. Hmmm… Bai Ling’s name with those music legends? Nah. She was aiming for sultry and seductive. She missed. Thumbs down. After her performance, Ant came out and proposed marriage to Bai. I’m like… what is he doing? He’s gay. Bai is so confused. She doesn’t know if he’s serious, so she says yes! And then she asks Ahmet Zappa (the host), “I thought he likes boys?” Unintentional comedy scale: 7.7

Carmine Gotti Agnello—sang Hey Ma by Camron. Well, he rapped most of it. Again, rapping isn’t singing, but you still have to have the talent to rap. Carmine does not. have. any. talent. Except for turning on young girls. I still haven’t figured that one out yet. Maybe it’s that whole bad boy thing. Family with mafia connections. I guess that makes him a bad boy, but I digress. Oh, yeah. And he took off his shirt. He looks like a 12 year old boy. Thumbs down.

Morgan Fairchild—sang Dusty Springfield’s Son of A Preacher Man. Before I recap this performance, you must know that this is one of my favorite songs of all time. Farm Boy, Westley, makes me sing it all the time. It IS his favorite song of all time. When they announced that Morgan would be singing it, we looked at each other and groaned. There are some songs you should just leave alone… and this is one. Having said that, the vocal coaches did an incredible job of getting this song into Morgan’s range (which is way, way, WAY low). They also cut the ending where Dusty’s voice just goes into this amazing, soulful wind-up. That helped Morgan. A lot. I gotta give Morgan a thumbs up for this, because she pulled it off! She’s still not a great singer, but she puts her all into every song.

Michael Copon- sang Nelly’s Hot in Herrre. Well. I mean, very well. This guy has continued to impress me in how he is able to sing multiple styles and really get into it. He has gone from blue PowerRanger to One Tree Hill to decent vocalist. I could buy him as a pop star/rock star. Oh, yeah. And he took off his shirt. *woot* Thumbs up.

At the end of the show, they announced the one who would not be going on. *drum roll* Bai Ling is going home. YAYYYYYYY! No more screeching cat voice! Hoorah! Huzzah! If you don’t know who she is, go to gofugyourself.com and check out the Bai Ling section. She dresses about the same as she sings.

Now, if we could just make sure that the voters don’t let Carmine win. Here’s what you do: go to VH1.com and vote for either Michael Copon or Morgan Fairchild. Vote as many times as you like… it’s free. If you could just do this for me, I would be very grateful. Thanks, chums… until next week!