Thursday, October 05, 2006

Do the Knee-Jerk! Da-da-da-da-da-dee-da-DUH!

I don’t need to write a post that asks what in Hades is this world coming to… there are plenty of others who are doing just that. With all the school shootings and crazies who are targeting children nowadays… that question seems to be on a lot of our minds lately.

However, some of the reactions and ideas about how to prevent these tragedies remind me quite a bit of the TSA’s decision to ban me from carrying my Beauty Rush lip gloss (cherry-licious flavored*) because I MIGHT have some kind of chemical in that itty-bitty tube that could cause someone harm. It's called KNEE JERK. The description, "knee jerk," sounds stupid because it IS. It's a reflex, not a deliberate, conscious reaction.

The most recent asinine ‘solution’ comes from the Wisconsin state representative, Frank Lasee. What, you ask, is this astute chap suggesting we do to prevent nutjobs from entering our schools and shooting at our kids? Why, arm the teachers, of course! Yes, that’s right. He wants to put guns in the hands of teachers and other school faculty to keep our kids safe from outside assailants. Huh? Wha?

Off the top of my head, here are a few responses I would like to send to Rep. Lasee:

1. *shakes him frantically by the shoulders* Please tell me you’re not serious!!!

2. In some of our schools, we have over 165 classroom teachers. That doesn’t include administrators, paraeducators, security staff, or food service workers. Let’s do the math. The ratio of guns to students has now significantly INCREASED. You don’t have to have a degree in quantum physics to understand that this potentially increases the amount of DANGER the kids would then be in.

3. Not all school shooters walk into the school as a stranger who feels like taking out his life’s failures on innocent children. Some of the shooters are students or teachers or administrators who lose it and work from within. Keeping that in mind, please kindly re-read point #2.

4. You want staff to go through “strict” firearm training? When? All I have to say is, “Good Luck!” I can’t even get half of them to learn how to turn on a computer and read their email.

5. Have you ever MET a teacher? I have. Oh, and I used to be one. There are some teachers who are scary enough without a gun. Please don’t give them one. Then there are those, very similar to one of my HS English teachers in the late 80s. As tiny and meek as she was, I just can’t imagine her becoming a gun-totin’ momma. Not happening. Nope. No way. You just can’t make a blanket requirement that all teachers carry firearms. You just CAN’T!

6. *shakes him frantically by the shoulders again* Really! Please tell me you’re not serious!

That’s all. Thanks for listening.


*Actually, the real name of the flavor for my lip gloss is Cherry Bomb. No wonder they won’t let me take it on a plane.

8 comments:

Libragirl said...

shake him for me also. He wasn't serious, of course he was. Dumbass. My brother is a teacher. He teaches at 6 differnt schools (he teaches blind and visually impaired kids basically at home or special schools) and he works in the corporate school working the computers. He takes the subway. Let's give him a gun.
NO!!!!

goldennib said...

You have got to be kidding me. When will people learn the answer is less agression, not more.

Wjat's his election platform?

Instead of a chicken in every pot, is it a gun in every pocket?

I want to shake him.

PS: You hot mama you, in your lipgloss.

Maliavale said...

OH. MY. GOD. I did not know about this. OMG OMG OMG.

That is all.

tammara said...

I didn't know about this either! Holy crap! He needs Hannah's "idiot" song!!

I had a 9th grade English teacher who made us put quarters into her Tootsie Roll can when we made her mad (which was frequently). During one class, she THREW the can at a kid near the back of the class. He ducked, and the can hit the desk behind him and burst open, sending coins flying. Who got in trouble? The kid who ducked, of course.

Please, Frank Lasee, don't give Mrs. Powell a gun. PLEASE.

lizgwiz said...

My first thought was: what if a disgruntled student (or group of them) decides to take possession of said gun from the teacher? Let's make the teachers' first priority keeping their hands on their guns--brilliant. Yikes.

othur-me said...

I really like the idea. You know, a firm rap on the knuckles with a wooden ruler was not enough to keep me from goofing off.

A bullet to the knuckle? Well, you can only pick a booger out of your nose and flick it at the girl next you ten times before that little prank stops!

jen said...

oh, come now..it's just for protection. it's necessary...

ahem..it's horseshit. good post.

don't call me MA'AM said...

Oh, good! I'm so glad you all thought he was nuts, too. For a while, I wondered how many people might actually agree with him! Thanks everyone!

tammara: eek. Mrs. Powell sounds like one of my crazy teachers!