Do you ever amaze even yourself with the sheer number of stupid and/or embarrassing things you do? No? Really? Ahem. Me, neither.
Okay, well, maybe I do. Most days, I pride myself in being a particularly intelligent individual. There are those instances, however, where I say or do something so blatantly stupid, it scares me a little.
A few years ago, I took the kids to school and returned back home to shower in peace and quiet. The Farm Boy had already left for his commute, and the place was all mine. I jumped in the shower and commenced sudsing (yes, it is a word… maybe). I realized that I hadn’t yet brushed my teeth, and I had this horrible dragon-breath-taste in my mouth. I decided to take a quick gulp of water from the shower, and then spit it right back out. However, I inhaled at the same time I gulped, and a fairly good amount of water traveled straight down through my trachea instead. I couldn’t breathe. At. All. I couldn’t get the water back up either. So, as I was panicking, hitting myself in the abdomen to try the self-Heimlich, my only thoughts were, “Great. I’m going to choke to death on about 1/3 cup of water… naked… in the shower… and this is how they’re going to find me.” Luckily, the 11th or 12th blow to the gut brought the water back up.
I’m not exactly sure what the lesson was I learned that day… but it’s probably something along the lines of “DON’T DRINK ALONE” or “DON’T SHOWER ALONE.” Either one works for me.