Monday, October 30, 2006

Stupid Is as Stupid Does...

Do you ever amaze even yourself with the sheer number of stupid and/or embarrassing things you do? No? Really? Ahem. Me, neither.

Okay, well, maybe I do. Most days, I pride myself in being a particularly intelligent individual. There are those instances, however, where I say or do something so blatantly stupid, it scares me a little.

A few years ago, I took the kids to school and returned back home to shower in peace and quiet. The Farm Boy had already left for his commute, and the place was all mine. I jumped in the shower and commenced sudsing (yes, it is a word… maybe). I realized that I hadn’t yet brushed my teeth, and I had this horrible dragon-breath-taste in my mouth. I decided to take a quick gulp of water from the shower, and then spit it right back out. However, I inhaled at the same time I gulped, and a fairly good amount of water traveled straight down through my trachea instead. I couldn’t breathe. At. All. I couldn’t get the water back up either. So, as I was panicking, hitting myself in the abdomen to try the self-Heimlich, my only thoughts were, “Great. I’m going to choke to death on about 1/3 cup of water… naked… in the shower… and this is how they’re going to find me.” Luckily, the 11th or 12th blow to the gut brought the water back up.

I’m not exactly sure what the lesson was I learned that day… but it’s probably something along the lines of “DON’T DRINK ALONE” or “DON’T SHOWER ALONE.” Either one works for me.

11 comments:

othur-me said...

Don't shower in dirty underwear?

Stinkypaw said...

Isn't weird that in those situation we only think of the fact that we're naked and how we don't want to be found this way?

I had a scary episode a few months back and my first thought was "I can't be found naked... must put some clothes on" How sick is that? It wasn't the fact that I was scared about what the heck was going on, but the fact that I was naked... is that shallow or what?

And I think your lesson should be "don't choke alone"

wire said...

how about: my trachea is not a straw.

-R- said...

Or don't drink in the shower!

don't call me MA'AM said...

othur-me: dirty underwear might have been better than NO underwear!

stinkypaw: I have another choking story where I was alone, but that was by choice. Again... very stupid. So, I think your advice is very profound!

wire: AHAHAHAH! That one made me giggle!

-r-: yep. That's a good one. I'm just an idiot.

MiMaw said...

Save a life, shower with a friend.

goldennib said...

At least you were inhaling water under inusual circumstances. I can't manage to drink a gin and tonic without breathing in at the same time I guzzle.

Maliavale said...

And that's why I brush my teeth in the shower.

Amusing story. ;-)

don't call me MA'AM said...

mimaw: my sentiments exactly.

goldennib: I'm usually gagging on lettuce or some other food... from stuffing too much in my face. ;-)

maliavale: good idea! Maybe I should try that. Hmmm...

lizgwiz said...

I slipped and fell in the shower once and all I could think on the way down was that they'd find me lying there naked. I think that kind of humiliation can reach beyond the grave.

tammara said...

Ohmygod - I've done this exact thing. Thank you - I do feel better now, because if you've done it, I can't be quite as stupid as I felt at the time...

At least, That's what I'm telling myself.