Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Somewhat Disjointed Thoughts from a Somewhat Coherent Grump.

1. Some days, I really hate being a girl. See... my lipstick is smeared a la Courtney Love, and my hair is a mess. If I were a guy, I'd get up, shower, run a comb through my hair, put on a shirt, tie, and pants, and be done. But no. I had to be born a chick. Gah.

2. I was watching Biography the other night, and the subject was Vampyres (yes, the spelling is correct). I’ve had some fascination with this particular topic for a long time and have even posted about one interesting self-proclaimed vampire before.

What I found interesting is that, according to one of the vampyres interviewed for this Biography special (an interview with a vampyre… hmmm.), you might be a vampyre if:

a) you’re extremely sensitive to light… CHECK.
b) you’re extremely sensitive to touch… CHECK.
c) you’re tired all the time…. CHECK CHECK.
d) you feel more alive at night (not a morning person)… CHECK CHECK CHECK

Apparently, I’m a vampyre. Oddly enough, my dentist did file my cuspids (canine teeth) down so they weren’t so pointy. Hmmm…

3. I guess you can get an auric cleansing/cleaning if your karma is bad. This site proclaims that they can “remove past-life ‘baggage’ forever” and that it is much more “powerful than psychology.” Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. I need an auric cleaning. Maybe all my vampyric activity in a past life is weighing me down in this life.*

4. Good news: I am excused from jury duty. Woot!

5. Oh... and what I'm wearing today at work? SO frumpy. What was I thinking? Again, if I were a guy, I wouldn't even care.

That’s all I have today. It’s better than what I’ve had the past few days (aka NADA).

* If you think I’m serious about any of this, I hate to disappoint you… but NO. No, no, no, no, NO. I’m not. Not one bit. Nope.


guinnessgirl said...

Oh, hey, I think I must be a vampyre, too! Sweet. As for the auric cleansing nonsense, gimme a break!

don't call me MA'AM said...

gg: Double sweet. We can start our very own club.

goldennib said...

Well, you know I'm a vampyre
; (=

And my aura is awfully brown and murky. I think I'll check it out.

A Guy said...

... if I were a guy, I'd get up, shower, run a comb through my hair, put on a shirt, tie, and pants, and be done. But no. I had to be born a chick. Gah.....

I say, just get up, shower, run a brush through your hair, put on a blouse, skirt and be done! Hey, if you JUST put on a tie, they guys at work wouldn't complain, will they?!

don't call me MA'AM said...

goldennib: Yay! One more for our club! A brown and murky aura says you need a vacation.

a guy: I don't want to scare the public by walking out of the house without makeup. Seriously. And I don't have the 'wash and wear' type of hair that some people do... let's just leave it at the fact that it takes some effort to de-troll. :-)

nabbalicious said...

See, I would be nervous to have an auric cleansing if they actually worked. I mean, what if all my past life baggage is actually *good* for me? Well, you just try it first and let me know how it goes. ;)

Anonymous said...

If you haven't read The Historian, you should. It's one of the best novels I read last year - and it's about vampires! (I am not into vampires whatsoever - I got this on the strength of the reviews alone, and I loved it.) If you have the slightest interest in the subject, you'd like it. I promise.

(Oh, and "de-troll"? Puhlease! I understand the sentiment, but I also KNOW you are too hard on yourself. I am too. That's how I know. :-))

don't call me MA'AM said...

nabbalicious: I agree with you. No auric cleansing for me!

tammara: thanks, I'll look for that! Oh, and regarding the de-trolling... when your 7 year old daughter says, "Mommy, your face looks kind of bad without makeup, but it's okay 'cause you always wear makeup" (she's 13 now), you tend to have to agree. ;-) Out of the mouths of babes and all that. haha

lizgwiz said...

Omigod, I think I'm a vampyre, too. I wouldn't mind ridding myself myself of some past baggage. I've been convinced for a while that I was a slaughterhouse owner in a previous life, and that's the reason I've been forced to care for so many needy and abandoned animals in this one.