Do you have one movie that scarred you for life? I mean... not in the sense that you can't watch it anymore or anything like that. More along the lines of: you do things now (or DON'T do things now) because of that movie.
For me, that movie was Salem's Lot. The 1979 David Soul version, not the 2004 Rob Lowe version.
I watched this movie with my parents, and I think a couple of my aunts and uncles. I was 10.
Before seeing this movie, I used to love keeping windows open at night. A nice breeze would come through my bedroom window... I could get a glimpse of moonlight shining on my bedroom walls. It was all so serene. And then this show damaged me.
In this movie, you learn that vampires can only enter your home if they are invited. And they like to float up to your bedroom window and come in that way. If you keep your windows open (curtains or blinds wide open, too)... they will trick you into letting them in. If you're a smart person, you keep your windows shut and your curtains/blinds drawn, too. Then they can't see you, but most especially... YOU CAN'T SEE THEM!
Since that most memorable night, I have never slept with my windows open. Oh, I've had "bedmates" who have tried. They even tricked me by waiting until I was asleep to open the windows on their own. Of course, I eventually awoke to a lovely breeze floating over my body, and then shrieked like a banshee! Immediately following the banshee shrieking-- a body-hurling leap to the window to bang it shut and draw those curtains before Nosferatu could weasle his way in. Hell no. Hell TO THE NO!
So that's my "scarred for life" movie. And I'm not ashamed.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Friday Why Files... these are just too easy...
WHY #1: Why did Kellie Pickler get kicked off American Idol?!? She SOOOOO could win this thing!
HA! Just kidding! I think America got that one right. Yeehaw.
The real WHY is: why did Paula start crying after Elliott's song Tuesday night? Did anyone see this? He sang really well... and I love a good cry as much as anyone, but c'mon!?!? I'm starting to believe the rumors that she's got something stronger than Coca-Cola in that cup. She was just goofy all night.
WHY #2: Beans could become "flatulence free." Do we really need gas-proof beans?
WHY #3: Why is everyone still talking about Tom Cruise? PEOPLE! If we ignore him, he will go away. Yes, we know he's out-of-his-mind insane. If we're really, really lucky, he'll get bored with all us humans and go back to Xenu where he belongs.
WHY #4: Qatar: Loud-mouth politicians are actually CAUSING the problem with oil prices. DUH! Why aren't we hearing more of this??!?!?
Not really a WHY #5: Okay, this one isn't so much a WHY, I guess. Just interesting:
Rosie O'Donnell to join The View.
I wonder who will get bitch-slapped first.
This concludes today's Friday Why Files.
HA! Just kidding! I think America got that one right. Yeehaw.
The real WHY is: why did Paula start crying after Elliott's song Tuesday night? Did anyone see this? He sang really well... and I love a good cry as much as anyone, but c'mon!?!? I'm starting to believe the rumors that she's got something stronger than Coca-Cola in that cup. She was just goofy all night.
WHY #2: Beans could become "flatulence free." Do we really need gas-proof beans?
WHY #3: Why is everyone still talking about Tom Cruise? PEOPLE! If we ignore him, he will go away. Yes, we know he's out-of-his-mind insane. If we're really, really lucky, he'll get bored with all us humans and go back to Xenu where he belongs.
WHY #4: Qatar: Loud-mouth politicians are actually CAUSING the problem with oil prices. DUH! Why aren't we hearing more of this??!?!?
Not really a WHY #5: Okay, this one isn't so much a WHY, I guess. Just interesting:
Rosie O'Donnell to join The View.
I wonder who will get bitch-slapped first.
This concludes today's Friday Why Files.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
More stuff that pisses me off...
Hey, every now and then (or more often than not), I have to live up to my blog name. Okay? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #1: Waiting for FIVE MINUTES in a left-turn lane with a red turn light when there is no oncoming traffic. It's not a dangerous road- you could see any approaching vehicles from about half a mile away. There is absolutely NO purpose for that light to stay red, other than during heavy traffic times. Five minutes, people. Do you know what I could be doing with five extra minutes in my day? Yeah. That's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #2: Watching Ryan Seacrest pause before he's supposed to announce who's going home on American Idol, and knowing he's going to say "... right after this commercial break." Really. We know you need your ad time. Why don't you just cut through the crap and tell us what we want to know early on in the show, say the first 15 minutes. Then you can play all the ads you want. Sure, we'll be gone. But we won't be driving a nail through our palms each time you say, "... right after this commercial break." Listen to me, Seacrest. Nigel Lythgoe, you too. This is not suspense. It's just pissing us off. I flip the channel to watch something else until the last 4 minutes of your show now. So, what now? Yeah, that's what I thought.
(counter to anger-inducing peeve... America finally got it right! Kellie Pickler, it was nice knowing you! Not really, but I'm just saying.)
Anger-inducing Peeve #3: My bathroom scale is a big, fat, stupid head LIAR! I hate it. It sits there, all smug, on the tile of my bathroom floor... just daring me to have hope. I'm working out everyday. Two days a week, I'm with a physical therapist for an hour. Did you hear that?!?! An HOUR!!! Sure, it's not terribly intense, but it's still more movement than my crazy, broken body saw 6 months ago. I'm eating so well (even let up a little on the Chipotle addiction). People who eat around me feel ashamed for all the greasy nastiness they are consuming. I'm eating my 1200 or less calories a day of fruits, veggies, lean protein, blah, blah, blah. But I'm digressing somewhat...
Back to that arsehole scale of mine: it's evil. Just when I feel like, "Hey! I bet I've lost at least a pound or two! Scale-y loves me. I'll just ease my toes ever so slightly onto it's cute, white surface, and..." BAM! No loss. Not one stinking pound. As I stand there and watch the digital numbers move back and forth... then finally rest on the higher number (of course)... I hear the scale huffing and puffing like it's out of breath. I step off, defeated... and then it laughs at me. Oh, yes it does. No, really. It does. Don't argue with me, or I'll punch you. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #4: The month of April. Wha? Yes, I said the month of April. It seems all nice and shiny... spring is here, tra la! Au contraire, mon frere... not in the midwest. It is the month of UPS and DOWNS.
April crept in and gave us this lovely, temperate weather, and we all sighed... contentedly. Then... it got hot. Like Africa hot (okay, maybe not THAT hot, but I just like saying that). Like 90 degrees F hot. Hmmm... turn on the AC in April? Okay. I'll bite. A day or two of that, then it hovered around the 70-80 degree F range. That's fine. AC keeps things nice and shuts off when not needed. No prob. Then the temperature dips. WAYYYYY down. Last night, I had to turn on the heater. And turn on the gas fireplace. It was literally freezing. Yes, within a mere week, we have had a SIXTY degree temperature swing. (Actually factually... we've had a sixty degree temp swing between two days before.) So, one day, I'm wearing a skirt and sandals. The next day, I'm wearing a parka. Don't believe me? Bring it on. I'll show you what's what. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #5: Gas. Don't even get me started.
Okay, I'm much better now that I got that out of my system. Thanks for tuning in.
Anger-inducing Peeve #1: Waiting for FIVE MINUTES in a left-turn lane with a red turn light when there is no oncoming traffic. It's not a dangerous road- you could see any approaching vehicles from about half a mile away. There is absolutely NO purpose for that light to stay red, other than during heavy traffic times. Five minutes, people. Do you know what I could be doing with five extra minutes in my day? Yeah. That's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #2: Watching Ryan Seacrest pause before he's supposed to announce who's going home on American Idol, and knowing he's going to say "... right after this commercial break." Really. We know you need your ad time. Why don't you just cut through the crap and tell us what we want to know early on in the show, say the first 15 minutes. Then you can play all the ads you want. Sure, we'll be gone. But we won't be driving a nail through our palms each time you say, "... right after this commercial break." Listen to me, Seacrest. Nigel Lythgoe, you too. This is not suspense. It's just pissing us off. I flip the channel to watch something else until the last 4 minutes of your show now. So, what now? Yeah, that's what I thought.
(counter to anger-inducing peeve... America finally got it right! Kellie Pickler, it was nice knowing you! Not really, but I'm just saying.)
Anger-inducing Peeve #3: My bathroom scale is a big, fat, stupid head LIAR! I hate it. It sits there, all smug, on the tile of my bathroom floor... just daring me to have hope. I'm working out everyday. Two days a week, I'm with a physical therapist for an hour. Did you hear that?!?! An HOUR!!! Sure, it's not terribly intense, but it's still more movement than my crazy, broken body saw 6 months ago. I'm eating so well (even let up a little on the Chipotle addiction). People who eat around me feel ashamed for all the greasy nastiness they are consuming. I'm eating my 1200 or less calories a day of fruits, veggies, lean protein, blah, blah, blah. But I'm digressing somewhat...
Back to that arsehole scale of mine: it's evil. Just when I feel like, "Hey! I bet I've lost at least a pound or two! Scale-y loves me. I'll just ease my toes ever so slightly onto it's cute, white surface, and..." BAM! No loss. Not one stinking pound. As I stand there and watch the digital numbers move back and forth... then finally rest on the higher number (of course)... I hear the scale huffing and puffing like it's out of breath. I step off, defeated... and then it laughs at me. Oh, yes it does. No, really. It does. Don't argue with me, or I'll punch you. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #4: The month of April. Wha? Yes, I said the month of April. It seems all nice and shiny... spring is here, tra la! Au contraire, mon frere... not in the midwest. It is the month of UPS and DOWNS.
April crept in and gave us this lovely, temperate weather, and we all sighed... contentedly. Then... it got hot. Like Africa hot (okay, maybe not THAT hot, but I just like saying that). Like 90 degrees F hot. Hmmm... turn on the AC in April? Okay. I'll bite. A day or two of that, then it hovered around the 70-80 degree F range. That's fine. AC keeps things nice and shuts off when not needed. No prob. Then the temperature dips. WAYYYYY down. Last night, I had to turn on the heater. And turn on the gas fireplace. It was literally freezing. Yes, within a mere week, we have had a SIXTY degree temperature swing. (Actually factually... we've had a sixty degree temp swing between two days before.) So, one day, I'm wearing a skirt and sandals. The next day, I'm wearing a parka. Don't believe me? Bring it on. I'll show you what's what. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anger-inducing Peeve #5: Gas. Don't even get me started.
Okay, I'm much better now that I got that out of my system. Thanks for tuning in.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Books by Women (meme)
Stole this from Poppy...
Rules: BOLD those you’ve read, ITALICIZE the ones you’ve been meaning to read.
Alcott, Louisa May–Little Women
Allende, Isabel–The House of Spirits
Angelou, Maya–I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Atwood, Margaret–Cat’s Eye
Austen, Jane–Emma
Bambara, Toni Cade–Salt Eaters
Barnes, Djuna–Nightwoodde
Beauvoir, Simone–The Second Sex
Blume, Judy–Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret
Burnett, Frances–The Secret Garden
Bronte, Charlotte–Jane Eyre
Bronte, Emily–Wuthering Heights
Buck, Pearl S.–The Good Earth
Byatt, A.S.–Possession
Cather, Willa–My Antonia
Christie, Agatha–Murder on the Orient Express
Cisneros, Sandra–The House on Mango Street
Clinton, Hillary Rodham–Living History
Cooper, Anna Julia–A Voice From the South
Danticat, Edwidge–Breath, Eyes, Memory
Davis, Angela–Women, Culture, and Politics
Desai, Anita–Clear Light of Day
Dickinson, Emily–Collected Poems
Duncan, Lois–I Know What You Did Last Summer
DuMaurier, Daphne–Rebecca
Eliot, George–Middlemarch
Emecheta, Buchi–Second Class Citizen
Erdrich, Louise–Tracks
Esquivel, Laura–Like Water for Chocolate
Flagg, Fannie–Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Friedan, Betty–The Feminine Mystique (I think I did, and I know I plan to re-read it)
Frank, Anne–Diary of a Young Girl
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins–The Yellow Wallpaper
Gordimer, Nadine–July’s People
Grafton, Sue–S is for Silence
Hamilton, Edith–Mythology
Highsmith, Patricia–The Talented Mr. Ripley
Hooks, Bell–Bone Black
Hurston, Zora Neale–Dust Tracks on the Road
Jacobs, Harriet–Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
Jackson, Helen Hunt–Ramona
Jackson, Shirley–The Haunting of Hill House
Jong, Erica–Fear of Flying
Keene, Carolyn–The Nancy Drew Mysteries (any of them)
Kidd, Sue Monk–The Secret Life of Bees
Kincaid, Jamaica–Lucy
Kingsolver, Barbara–The Poisonwood Bible
Kingston, Maxine Hong–The Woman Warrior
Larsen, Nella–Passing
L’Engle, Madeleine–A Wrinkle in Time
Le Guin, Ursula K.–The Left Hand of Darkness
Lee, Harper–To Kill a Mockingbird
Lessing, Doris–The Golden Notebook
Lively, Penelope–Moon Tiger
Lorde, Audre–The Cancer Journals
Martin, Ann M.–The Babysitters Club Series (I think only one of them, though)
McCullers, Carson–The Member of the Wedding
McMillan, Terry–Disappearing Acts
Markandaya, Kamala–Nectar in a Sieve
Marshall, Paule–Brown Girl, Brownstones
Mitchell, Margaret–Gone with the Wind
Montgomery, Lucy–Anne of Green Gables
Morgan, Joan–When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost
Morrison, Toni–Song of Solomon
Murasaki, Lady Shikibu–The Tale of Genji
Munro, Alice–Lives of Girls and Women
Murdoch, Iris–A Severed Head
Naylor, Gloria–Mama Day
Niffenegger, Audrey–The Time Traveller’s Wife
Oates, Joyce Carol–We Were the Mulvaneys
O’Connor, Flannery–A Good Man is Hard to Find
Piercy, Marge–Woman on the Edge of Time
Picoult, Jodi–My Sister’s Keeper
Plath, Sylvia–The Bell Jar
Porter, Katharine Anne–Ship of Fools
Proulx, E. Annie–The Shipping News
Rand, Ayn–The Fountainhead
Ray, Rachel–365: No Repeats (actually, my husband wants this one)
Rhys, Jean–Wide Sargasso Sea
Robinson, Marilynne–Housekeeping
Rocha, Sharon–For Laci
Sebold, Alice–The Lovely Bones
Shelley, Mary–Frankenstein
Smith, Betty–A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Smith, Zadie–White Teeth
Spark, Muriel–The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Spyri, Johanna–Heidi
Strout, Elizabeth–Amy and Isabelle
Steel, Danielle–The House
Tan, Amy–The Joy Luck Club
Tannen, Deborah–You’re Wearing That
Ulrich, Laurel–A Midwife’s Tale
Urquhart, Jane–Away
Walker, Alice–The Temple of My Familiar
Welty, Eudora–One Writer’s Beginnings
Wharton, Edith–Age of Innocence
Wilder, Laura Ingalls–Little House in the Big Woods
Wollstonecraft, Mary–A Vindication of the Rights of Women
Woolf, Virginia–A Room of One’s Own
I've read more than I thought I did... plus there are some that I might have read and just don't remember. I read so much when I was young (Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, etc.), that I'm really appreciating re-reading them with an adult perspective.
Rules: BOLD those you’ve read, ITALICIZE the ones you’ve been meaning to read.
Alcott, Louisa May–Little Women
Allende, Isabel–The House of Spirits
Angelou, Maya–I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Atwood, Margaret–Cat’s Eye
Austen, Jane–Emma
Bambara, Toni Cade–Salt Eaters
Barnes, Djuna–Nightwoodde
Beauvoir, Simone–The Second Sex
Blume, Judy–Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret
Burnett, Frances–The Secret Garden
Bronte, Charlotte–Jane Eyre
Bronte, Emily–Wuthering Heights
Buck, Pearl S.–The Good Earth
Byatt, A.S.–Possession
Cather, Willa–My Antonia
Christie, Agatha–Murder on the Orient Express
Cisneros, Sandra–The House on Mango Street
Clinton, Hillary Rodham–Living History
Cooper, Anna Julia–A Voice From the South
Danticat, Edwidge–Breath, Eyes, Memory
Davis, Angela–Women, Culture, and Politics
Desai, Anita–Clear Light of Day
Dickinson, Emily–Collected Poems
Duncan, Lois–I Know What You Did Last Summer
DuMaurier, Daphne–Rebecca
Eliot, George–Middlemarch
Emecheta, Buchi–Second Class Citizen
Erdrich, Louise–Tracks
Esquivel, Laura–Like Water for Chocolate
Flagg, Fannie–Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Friedan, Betty–The Feminine Mystique (I think I did, and I know I plan to re-read it)
Frank, Anne–Diary of a Young Girl
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins–The Yellow Wallpaper
Gordimer, Nadine–July’s People
Grafton, Sue–S is for Silence
Hamilton, Edith–Mythology
Highsmith, Patricia–The Talented Mr. Ripley
Hooks, Bell–Bone Black
Hurston, Zora Neale–Dust Tracks on the Road
Jacobs, Harriet–Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
Jackson, Helen Hunt–Ramona
Jackson, Shirley–The Haunting of Hill House
Jong, Erica–Fear of Flying
Keene, Carolyn–The Nancy Drew Mysteries (any of them)
Kidd, Sue Monk–The Secret Life of Bees
Kincaid, Jamaica–Lucy
Kingsolver, Barbara–The Poisonwood Bible
Kingston, Maxine Hong–The Woman Warrior
Larsen, Nella–Passing
L’Engle, Madeleine–A Wrinkle in Time
Le Guin, Ursula K.–The Left Hand of Darkness
Lee, Harper–To Kill a Mockingbird
Lessing, Doris–The Golden Notebook
Lively, Penelope–Moon Tiger
Lorde, Audre–The Cancer Journals
Martin, Ann M.–The Babysitters Club Series (I think only one of them, though)
McCullers, Carson–The Member of the Wedding
McMillan, Terry–Disappearing Acts
Markandaya, Kamala–Nectar in a Sieve
Marshall, Paule–Brown Girl, Brownstones
Mitchell, Margaret–Gone with the Wind
Montgomery, Lucy–Anne of Green Gables
Morgan, Joan–When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost
Morrison, Toni–Song of Solomon
Murasaki, Lady Shikibu–The Tale of Genji
Munro, Alice–Lives of Girls and Women
Murdoch, Iris–A Severed Head
Naylor, Gloria–Mama Day
Niffenegger, Audrey–The Time Traveller’s Wife
Oates, Joyce Carol–We Were the Mulvaneys
O’Connor, Flannery–A Good Man is Hard to Find
Piercy, Marge–Woman on the Edge of Time
Picoult, Jodi–My Sister’s Keeper
Plath, Sylvia–The Bell Jar
Porter, Katharine Anne–Ship of Fools
Proulx, E. Annie–The Shipping News
Rand, Ayn–The Fountainhead
Ray, Rachel–365: No Repeats (actually, my husband wants this one)
Rhys, Jean–Wide Sargasso Sea
Robinson, Marilynne–Housekeeping
Rocha, Sharon–For Laci
Sebold, Alice–The Lovely Bones
Shelley, Mary–Frankenstein
Smith, Betty–A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Smith, Zadie–White Teeth
Spark, Muriel–The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Spyri, Johanna–Heidi
Strout, Elizabeth–Amy and Isabelle
Steel, Danielle–The House
Tan, Amy–The Joy Luck Club
Tannen, Deborah–You’re Wearing That
Ulrich, Laurel–A Midwife’s Tale
Urquhart, Jane–Away
Walker, Alice–The Temple of My Familiar
Welty, Eudora–One Writer’s Beginnings
Wharton, Edith–Age of Innocence
Wilder, Laura Ingalls–Little House in the Big Woods
Wollstonecraft, Mary–A Vindication of the Rights of Women
Woolf, Virginia–A Room of One’s Own
I've read more than I thought I did... plus there are some that I might have read and just don't remember. I read so much when I was young (Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, etc.), that I'm really appreciating re-reading them with an adult perspective.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Cat's away... the mouse will play...
My husband went on a golf trip. He left Saturday and will return Friday.
Let me repeat. He went on a golf trip... WITHOUT ME. I love to golf. *sniffle, sob*
So, here is a list of things I've considered doing while he's gone:
1. Go to Chipotle as often as I like.... possibly for every meal.
2. Clean our bathroom.
3. Have friends over for apple-baked brie, crackers, and tea.
4. Have friends over for margaritas instead.
5. Watch Dear Frankie-- since I've had it from NetFlix for about 3 months, and he never wants to watch it with me.
6. Go on an evening photo tour.
7. Take up the entire bed when I sleep (since he's so much bigger than I am, I usually only get 1/88th of the bed) and use ALL his pillows in addition to mine.
8. Camp out in the family room with my girls.
9. Eat ice cream in bed.
10. Watch Will & Grace, Lifetime movies, and every other tv show he hates.
11. Invite some hottie masseuse over for the backrub that I've needed for so long.
12. Party with the neighbors.
13. Crank up some angry girl music, and sing and dance all over the house.
14. Take a long, hot bubble bath.
15. Miss him.
Some of these things I've already done in the last two days. Some of them I might do. Some of them I won't do... but they're fun to think about. ;-)
Let me repeat. He went on a golf trip... WITHOUT ME. I love to golf. *sniffle, sob*
So, here is a list of things I've considered doing while he's gone:
1. Go to Chipotle as often as I like.... possibly for every meal.
2. Clean our bathroom.
3. Have friends over for apple-baked brie, crackers, and tea.
4. Have friends over for margaritas instead.
5. Watch Dear Frankie-- since I've had it from NetFlix for about 3 months, and he never wants to watch it with me.
6. Go on an evening photo tour.
7. Take up the entire bed when I sleep (since he's so much bigger than I am, I usually only get 1/88th of the bed) and use ALL his pillows in addition to mine.
8. Camp out in the family room with my girls.
9. Eat ice cream in bed.
10. Watch Will & Grace, Lifetime movies, and every other tv show he hates.
11. Invite some hottie masseuse over for the backrub that I've needed for so long.
12. Party with the neighbors.
13. Crank up some angry girl music, and sing and dance all over the house.
14. Take a long, hot bubble bath.
15. Miss him.
Some of these things I've already done in the last two days. Some of them I might do. Some of them I won't do... but they're fun to think about. ;-)
Friday, April 21, 2006
Friday Why Files...
WHY #1. MSNBC's report titled, "Beware the door-to-door free breast exam guy."
Okay, so some guys are now slapping the foreheads, muttering, "Why didn't I think of that?"
But that's not the reason for adding this article. If you read through it, you'll find that two women, in their 30s, let this guy in and BELIEVED him. No ID. No proof of anything. He's some old, white-haired pervert who claimed to be a doctor. And they bought it. Huh? Wha? Sorry... if any guy knocks on my door with a free offer to examine "the ladies"-- I'm calling the cops.
WHY #2. WHY would anyone want to be a stripper?!?! I don't know whom I believe in the Duke LaCrosse players/stripper rape case. I'm not taking sides. I'm not blaming strippers who are victims of senseless crimes because of their chosen profession or lifestyle. What I really want to know is simply... why would anyone choose to be a stripper? Seriously. Unless you have major exhibitionist issues, why would you choose that "profession?" I know there's money involved. Many women who choose that path say that they are forced to do it to support themselves. Funny. Anytime I've ever been out of a job, I've never had to resort to stripping for cash. I've worked some less than satisfactory jobs... but stripping was never one of them.
Sidenote: One of my bosses in a previous job did offer me $1000 to dance in my underwear on a bar table. He actually had the cash with him and put it on the table. I said no. What I should have done was to sue his ass.
WHY #3.
Why is Kellie Pickler still on American Idol? Sure, she has a great, heartwrenching backstory. She's cute and perky. But she does not have the caliber of voice to win this contest... that is, if America has its head on straight.
Photo credit: MTV
WHY #4. Big-screen version of the immensely popular TV show, Dallas-- is this necessary? Maybe. But the casting?
CNN Entertainment reports that John Travolta will play JR Ewing, and Jennifer Lopez will play his wife, Sue Ellen.
Are you kidding me?!?! Here's how I envision a scene between these two (WARNING! If you under the age of 35 or have never watched Welcome Back, Kotter on Nick at Nite, please stop reading here).
Sue Ellen: Ohmigod, baby! You've been shot!
JR: Who?
Sue Ellen: You! Can't you see it? Wait. Let me move my beautiful booty out of the way. There... can't you see it?
JR: What?
Sue Ellen: Your gunshot wound! Wow. There are a lot of rumors going around about me right now. People say I like to get married a lot. But, I'm telling you, I didn't do this! Hmmm... who WILL I marry after you die?
JR: Where?
Sue Ellen: Oh, it's right THERE. In your gut. Here, let me help you up.
JR: Would ya just watch the hair? Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair.
Sue Ellen: Who hit your hair? What are you talking about? You're impossible! I'm leaving for a meeting with my agent to see if this film can possibly help people forget that I was in that turkey, Gigli.
This concludes this week's Friday Why Files...
Okay, so some guys are now slapping the foreheads, muttering, "Why didn't I think of that?"
But that's not the reason for adding this article. If you read through it, you'll find that two women, in their 30s, let this guy in and BELIEVED him. No ID. No proof of anything. He's some old, white-haired pervert who claimed to be a doctor. And they bought it. Huh? Wha? Sorry... if any guy knocks on my door with a free offer to examine "the ladies"-- I'm calling the cops.
WHY #2. WHY would anyone want to be a stripper?!?! I don't know whom I believe in the Duke LaCrosse players/stripper rape case. I'm not taking sides. I'm not blaming strippers who are victims of senseless crimes because of their chosen profession or lifestyle. What I really want to know is simply... why would anyone choose to be a stripper? Seriously. Unless you have major exhibitionist issues, why would you choose that "profession?" I know there's money involved. Many women who choose that path say that they are forced to do it to support themselves. Funny. Anytime I've ever been out of a job, I've never had to resort to stripping for cash. I've worked some less than satisfactory jobs... but stripping was never one of them.
Sidenote: One of my bosses in a previous job did offer me $1000 to dance in my underwear on a bar table. He actually had the cash with him and put it on the table. I said no. What I should have done was to sue his ass.
WHY #3.
Why is Kellie Pickler still on American Idol? Sure, she has a great, heartwrenching backstory. She's cute and perky. But she does not have the caliber of voice to win this contest... that is, if America has its head on straight.
Photo credit: MTV
WHY #4. Big-screen version of the immensely popular TV show, Dallas-- is this necessary? Maybe. But the casting?
CNN Entertainment reports that John Travolta will play JR Ewing, and Jennifer Lopez will play his wife, Sue Ellen.
Are you kidding me?!?! Here's how I envision a scene between these two (WARNING! If you under the age of 35 or have never watched Welcome Back, Kotter on Nick at Nite, please stop reading here).
Sue Ellen: Ohmigod, baby! You've been shot!
JR: Who?
Sue Ellen: You! Can't you see it? Wait. Let me move my beautiful booty out of the way. There... can't you see it?
JR: What?
Sue Ellen: Your gunshot wound! Wow. There are a lot of rumors going around about me right now. People say I like to get married a lot. But, I'm telling you, I didn't do this! Hmmm... who WILL I marry after you die?
JR: Where?
Sue Ellen: Oh, it's right THERE. In your gut. Here, let me help you up.
JR: Would ya just watch the hair? Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair.
Sue Ellen: Who hit your hair? What are you talking about? You're impossible! I'm leaving for a meeting with my agent to see if this film can possibly help people forget that I was in that turkey, Gigli.
This concludes this week's Friday Why Files...
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Some people just need to be smacked upside the head...
Quote from Evangeline Lilly (as told to Elle and reported by a MSN Entertainment) about what a burden it is to be beautiful:
"'I spent many nights crying myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered and disrespected me, because they assumed things about my mental capacity or my physical willingness based on the way I look,' the "Lost" star laments."
Hmmmm... what was I going to say? Oh, yeah. SHUT THE HELL UP! Guess what? Life's tough. Even for the beautiful people. If that's the worst thing you ever have to deal with, count yourself lucky. What she doesn't mention are all the advantages she's had BECAUSE of her looks.
I have big boobs. Most guys don't know my eye color. Wah! I wish I were flat so men would respect my mind. WAH! WAH! Oh, yeah. Wait. No I don't. Because I'm not a PSYCHO!
What a fooking baby. Get a life, Evangeline.
"'I spent many nights crying myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered and disrespected me, because they assumed things about my mental capacity or my physical willingness based on the way I look,' the "Lost" star laments."
Hmmmm... what was I going to say? Oh, yeah. SHUT THE HELL UP! Guess what? Life's tough. Even for the beautiful people. If that's the worst thing you ever have to deal with, count yourself lucky. What she doesn't mention are all the advantages she's had BECAUSE of her looks.
I have big boobs. Most guys don't know my eye color. Wah! I wish I were flat so men would respect my mind. WAH! WAH! Oh, yeah. Wait. No I don't. Because I'm not a PSYCHO!
What a fooking baby. Get a life, Evangeline.
Monday, April 17, 2006
What to do with Tax Return Money...
Since the Farm Boy is in his first full year of self-employment, we filed separately this year.... which only means good things for me! Can you say "RETURN, baby?!?!" That's right. A BIIIGGG one.
So... what should I do with my tax return money? There are the responsible things of course:
a) save it
b) hold some back, in case Farm Boy owes more than he thinks he actually does
c) there is a child going to college in less than 1.5 years. It might be smart to start that college fund about now. (ha!)
d) donate some to charity
e) give some money to my siblings (aka charity)
f) did I mention "save it?"
Or... I could do what I really, REALLY want:
a) buy that Nikon D200 camera I've had my eye on (my uncle brought his with him on Easter... I was soooooooooo jealous!)
b) buy a lower-priced camera and then go clothes shopping
c) take my aunt to a day spa (actually, I'm doing this no matter what. She just finished her last round of radiation treatment. Remission City! So, this automatically goes on the list!)
d)ROAD TRIP!
If I'm smart (which I like to think I am), I'll save most of it, and spend SOME of it. Gah. Decisions, decisions.
So... what should I do with my tax return money? There are the responsible things of course:
a) save it
b) hold some back, in case Farm Boy owes more than he thinks he actually does
c) there is a child going to college in less than 1.5 years. It might be smart to start that college fund about now. (ha!)
d) donate some to charity
e) give some money to my siblings (aka charity)
f) did I mention "save it?"
Or... I could do what I really, REALLY want:
a) buy that Nikon D200 camera I've had my eye on (my uncle brought his with him on Easter... I was soooooooooo jealous!)
b) buy a lower-priced camera and then go clothes shopping
c) take my aunt to a day spa (actually, I'm doing this no matter what. She just finished her last round of radiation treatment. Remission City! So, this automatically goes on the list!)
d)ROAD TRIP!
If I'm smart (which I like to think I am), I'll save most of it, and spend SOME of it. Gah. Decisions, decisions.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Saturday Random Musings...
... since I did Why Files on Friday, I'll just share a few random thoughts with you on Saturdays. That is, of course, assuming I can be consistent for more than a week. Ha. Good luck with that.
1. Yay! It's Saturday. This is my favorite day of the week.
2. Happy Easter to all of you who celebrate. If you don't, Happy Sunday tomorrow. :-)
3. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs will be here next Tuesday. Think I can get tickets? Probably not. Meh.
4. I'm applying for a new position at work. It's okay to mention it here, because everyone at work, including my immediate supervisor, knows about it. So, technically, I'm not breaking the First Commandment of Blogging (thanks for the reminder, Jurgen!). Or maybe I am, but it's okay. I shouldn't get in trouble for this, right? No doocing, please.
I'm really excited about it, because it would be a new challenge even though I'd still be working with mostly the same people. I have no idea if I'll get the job or not, but the whole process should be fun just to shake things up.
5. We will be kidless for Easter. My kids will be with their dad, and my step-kids will be with their mom. :-( I don't like it when our kids aren't with us for holidays. Boo.
6. I love Carlos Mencia. If you haven't seen his Drive By Shooting School, you MUST.
7. If you read anything about Omaha in the papers or online possibly at CNN, please realize that only SOME people in Omaha are stupid. Not of all of us, m'kay?
8. Ben & Jerry's Lowfat Cherry Garcia... nectar of the gods. Enough said.
1. Yay! It's Saturday. This is my favorite day of the week.
2. Happy Easter to all of you who celebrate. If you don't, Happy Sunday tomorrow. :-)
3. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs will be here next Tuesday. Think I can get tickets? Probably not. Meh.
4. I'm applying for a new position at work. It's okay to mention it here, because everyone at work, including my immediate supervisor, knows about it. So, technically, I'm not breaking the First Commandment of Blogging (thanks for the reminder, Jurgen!). Or maybe I am, but it's okay. I shouldn't get in trouble for this, right? No doocing, please.
I'm really excited about it, because it would be a new challenge even though I'd still be working with mostly the same people. I have no idea if I'll get the job or not, but the whole process should be fun just to shake things up.
5. We will be kidless for Easter. My kids will be with their dad, and my step-kids will be with their mom. :-( I don't like it when our kids aren't with us for holidays. Boo.
6. I love Carlos Mencia. If you haven't seen his Drive By Shooting School, you MUST.
7. If you read anything about Omaha in the papers or online possibly at CNN, please realize that only SOME people in Omaha are stupid. Not of all of us, m'kay?
8. Ben & Jerry's Lowfat Cherry Garcia... nectar of the gods. Enough said.
Friday, April 14, 2006
The Friday Why Files.... Vol. 1, Issue 1
WHY #1
Couple admits to lying about multiple births as scam for raising money.
WHY #2
Why do singers who can't sing try to act when they can't act either? Case in point:
For that matter, why don't actors who CAN act and who CAN sing... sing more often?
Case in point:
WHY #3
I was a teacher for six years. I taught 7-12 graders (ages 12-19). NEVER was I once even remotely attracted to any of my students. They were my STUDENTS. Did I stress that enough? They were my STUDENTS!!! When I started teaching, I was only 23. For those of you struggling with the math, that means I was only 4 years older than some of the kids I taught. Still... not for one second, did I ever think of dating one of my students. As far as I was concerned, they were all just a bunch of kids. I was the adult. That's all there was.
So... my "WHY" is .... why are so many teachers having sex withstudents children????
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!
Stupid Teacher #1
Stupid Teacher #2
Stupid Teacher #3
Stupid Teacher #4
The saddest thing to report is that there are so many more... but I'm not going to list them all here. It would be bigger than most of our blogs put together. Excuse me... I need to go vomit now.
WHY #5
Woman fakes her own death to avoid paying traffic tickets/fines.
This concludes today's WHY FILES.
Couple admits to lying about multiple births as scam for raising money.
WHY #2
Why do singers who can't sing try to act when they can't act either? Case in point:
For that matter, why don't actors who CAN act and who CAN sing... sing more often?
Case in point:
WHY #3
I was a teacher for six years. I taught 7-12 graders (ages 12-19). NEVER was I once even remotely attracted to any of my students. They were my STUDENTS. Did I stress that enough? They were my STUDENTS!!! When I started teaching, I was only 23. For those of you struggling with the math, that means I was only 4 years older than some of the kids I taught. Still... not for one second, did I ever think of dating one of my students. As far as I was concerned, they were all just a bunch of kids. I was the adult. That's all there was.
So... my "WHY" is .... why are so many teachers having sex with
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!
Stupid Teacher #1
Stupid Teacher #2
Stupid Teacher #3
Stupid Teacher #4
The saddest thing to report is that there are so many more... but I'm not going to list them all here. It would be bigger than most of our blogs put together. Excuse me... I need to go vomit now.
WHY #5
Woman fakes her own death to avoid paying traffic tickets/fines.
This concludes today's WHY FILES.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Another guessing game...
... the one where you guess what's in this picture:
a) the arm of some crack whore who wandered into my house
b) my new tattoo
c) the result of getting blood drawn today
d) further evidence that I need to get out into the sun more often
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts...
Some days, it's just too much to be the enigma that is La Grumpy. I'm in such a funk, and I just hate that. If I could blast up the workouts, maybe I could get more endorphins going... but alas, I cannot. I have to stick with simple stretches everyday, and 15 minutes of walking in a pool twice a week. Gah.
PMS doesn't help matters. Neither does the recent insomnia.
So, I'm trying to inundate my brain with happy thoughts. At the moment, I'm very tempted to go for a little retail therapy. Luckily for my bank account, I'm at work and can't leave. I have learned it is very unwise for me to shop when I'm feeling a little depressed. The resulting euphoria is always amazing, but very short-lived. Especially once I see my credit card amounts... that I'm trying to keep down anyway.
One thing that I am doing is listening to my Happy/Upbeat Mix on my Nano. These songs all have a happy-ish theme, and/or are somewhat up tempo. Some of them make me feel happy because of the lyrics; others, because of the music. Some even because of the memories they bring to me. What I'm finding, though, is that the majority of tunes in my "library" are a lot of sad songs, or relaxing songs, or "deep" songs. But not a lot of really, good happy tunes. (I do have more on CD, I'm sure... I just haven't had the time to get them all on the Nano.)
So help me friends! Suggestions? I'm listing some of the songs I have on the mix. If you have a song you think belongs on this list, send it my way.
Partial list (in no particular order):
The Beach Boys: Little Deuce Coupe
The Beatles: Here Comes The Sun and All You Need Is Love
Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
The Wonders: That Thing You Do
The Proclaimers: 500 Miles
Roy Orbison: You Got It
Barry Manilow: Daybreak (If you make fun of this one, I will teach you about pain)
Belle & Sebastian: Funny Little Frog
Diamond Rio: That’s How Your Love Makes Me Feel
Fastball: You’re An Ocean
James Taylor: Your Smiling Face
Stevie Wonder: Sir Duke
Toby Keith: Who’s Your Daddy (this one is an inside joke with the hubby)
Thelonius Monk: Straight, No Chaser
ELO: All Over The World and Rock and Roll Is King
Elton John: Philadelphia Freedom and Crocodile Rock
Over The Rhine: Lookin’ Forward
Tom Petty: American Girl and I Won’t Back Down
Hairspray soundtrack (Original cast)
PMS doesn't help matters. Neither does the recent insomnia.
So, I'm trying to inundate my brain with happy thoughts. At the moment, I'm very tempted to go for a little retail therapy. Luckily for my bank account, I'm at work and can't leave. I have learned it is very unwise for me to shop when I'm feeling a little depressed. The resulting euphoria is always amazing, but very short-lived. Especially once I see my credit card amounts... that I'm trying to keep down anyway.
One thing that I am doing is listening to my Happy/Upbeat Mix on my Nano. These songs all have a happy-ish theme, and/or are somewhat up tempo. Some of them make me feel happy because of the lyrics; others, because of the music. Some even because of the memories they bring to me. What I'm finding, though, is that the majority of tunes in my "library" are a lot of sad songs, or relaxing songs, or "deep" songs. But not a lot of really, good happy tunes. (I do have more on CD, I'm sure... I just haven't had the time to get them all on the Nano.)
So help me friends! Suggestions? I'm listing some of the songs I have on the mix. If you have a song you think belongs on this list, send it my way.
Partial list (in no particular order):
The Beach Boys: Little Deuce Coupe
The Beatles: Here Comes The Sun and All You Need Is Love
Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
The Wonders: That Thing You Do
The Proclaimers: 500 Miles
Roy Orbison: You Got It
Barry Manilow: Daybreak (If you make fun of this one, I will teach you about pain)
Belle & Sebastian: Funny Little Frog
Diamond Rio: That’s How Your Love Makes Me Feel
Fastball: You’re An Ocean
James Taylor: Your Smiling Face
Stevie Wonder: Sir Duke
Toby Keith: Who’s Your Daddy (this one is an inside joke with the hubby)
Thelonius Monk: Straight, No Chaser
ELO: All Over The World and Rock and Roll Is King
Elton John: Philadelphia Freedom and Crocodile Rock
Over The Rhine: Lookin’ Forward
Tom Petty: American Girl and I Won’t Back Down
Hairspray soundtrack (Original cast)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
It's Spring! Break out the long underwear and mittens...
Well, things are starting to really warm up here in the Midwest. This week, our temps will stay in the mid-70s F (around 24 degrees C). In fact, that is a bit warm for April, but we're not complaining. It's beautiful outside, and everyone has spring fever.
WHICH MEANS....
It's now necessary to wear a parka in my office. Go figure. All winter long, the average office temp was 85 degrees F (29 C). No lie. I walked around in thin cotton blouses and skirts in the office, and then bundled up to go outside where the average was around freezing. If it's cold outside, the office will feel like an oven.
Now that it's warming up outside, the office will be freezing. Arctic. Polar-like. My fingernails are blue as I'm typing this (I'd take a photo of them, but I left my camera at home. Gah!). The average office temp now will hover between 60 and 65 degrees F (15-18 C). On top of my spring outfit today, I'm wearing a very dorky cardigan that I keep in my office just for warmth. As soon as I need to leave the office, I will shed the sweater and go outside to revel in the sun and warmer temps.
I think I need to find a job where I can work from my bed. I'll buy one of those princess phones and call everyone "DAH-ling." I will wear long, silk nighties with fabulous, luxurious robes all day long. I'll drink mimosas all morning and nibble on bon bons delivered by my manservant (who looks surprisingly like the Farm Boy). For lunch, a cart will be rolled in with a delectable assortment of fruits, veggies, salads, Chipotle burritos, and cheesecakes. The princess phone will be ringing non-stop, because everyone who's anyone will want a piece of my time and attention.
... And when the pink-striped pigs start flying right outside my window... I'll wake up and realize that I'm drooling on my keyboard. I've fallen asleep at work due to the fact that I couldn't sleep last night. And it's still cold. Bleh.
WHICH MEANS....
It's now necessary to wear a parka in my office. Go figure. All winter long, the average office temp was 85 degrees F (29 C). No lie. I walked around in thin cotton blouses and skirts in the office, and then bundled up to go outside where the average was around freezing. If it's cold outside, the office will feel like an oven.
Now that it's warming up outside, the office will be freezing. Arctic. Polar-like. My fingernails are blue as I'm typing this (I'd take a photo of them, but I left my camera at home. Gah!). The average office temp now will hover between 60 and 65 degrees F (15-18 C). On top of my spring outfit today, I'm wearing a very dorky cardigan that I keep in my office just for warmth. As soon as I need to leave the office, I will shed the sweater and go outside to revel in the sun and warmer temps.
I think I need to find a job where I can work from my bed. I'll buy one of those princess phones and call everyone "DAH-ling." I will wear long, silk nighties with fabulous, luxurious robes all day long. I'll drink mimosas all morning and nibble on bon bons delivered by my manservant (who looks surprisingly like the Farm Boy). For lunch, a cart will be rolled in with a delectable assortment of fruits, veggies, salads, Chipotle burritos, and cheesecakes. The princess phone will be ringing non-stop, because everyone who's anyone will want a piece of my time and attention.
... And when the pink-striped pigs start flying right outside my window... I'll wake up and realize that I'm drooling on my keyboard. I've fallen asleep at work due to the fact that I couldn't sleep last night. And it's still cold. Bleh.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Maybe he's on to something there...
My tummy hurts. Bad.
It's hurt all day long.
I get lots of tummy aches!
The Farm Boy RARELY has tummy aches.
But... he is also a smelly boy. A smelly boy who passes gas literally all the time. Whenever. Wherever. If five minutes has gone by, you can bet your bottom dollar that he has farted somewhere within that time frame.
I, on the other hand, am a delicate flower of a lady. Ladies do no such thing.
And so... my tummy hurts. Gah.
It's hurt all day long.
I get lots of tummy aches!
The Farm Boy RARELY has tummy aches.
But... he is also a smelly boy. A smelly boy who passes gas literally all the time. Whenever. Wherever. If five minutes has gone by, you can bet your bottom dollar that he has farted somewhere within that time frame.
I, on the other hand, am a delicate flower of a lady. Ladies do no such thing.
And so... my tummy hurts. Gah.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Just a thought...
Watching your favorite hockey team lose... not a good time.
Watching your favorite hockey team lose while sitting with a bunch of hammered Canadians... definitely a good time, eh! Beauty!
Watching your favorite hockey team lose while sitting with a bunch of hammered Canadians... definitely a good time, eh! Beauty!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
I'm baaaaaack...
We're back home... did a lot of errand running yesterday, spending time with the family, etc., which meant no time for Bloggyland. But I'm back. :-)
In our 48 hour whirlwind tour of Chicago, here are a few things we did:
* arrived at O'Hare at 7:30am.
* walked around Chicago like zombies for 3 hours until our room at the Hard Rock Hotel was ready. Thank you God for the Corner Bakery.
* ate at Bennigans.
* rode in too many taxis.
* watched a hockey game.
* ordered room service.
* slept late.
* strolled along Michigan Avenue.
* ate at the Cheesecake Factory (aka Grumpy's Nirvana).
* saw Chicago from Big John. And I'm deathly afraid of heights. I couldn't even go all the way up to the windows. C'mon! 94 stories!!! I'm dizzy just thinking about it.
* shopped at Water Tower Place.
* spent a crapload of money.
* went to the Shedd Aquarium. Watched beluga whale training. LOVE beluga whales!!!
* had a drink at the Hard Rock.
* ate dinner at the airport.
* flew through a nasty storm in a commuter jet. Didn't puke, but the guy behind me did.
* arrived home at 11:45pm.
* waited over an hour for luggage to arrive two flights later.
* drove home and finally went to bed around 1:30am.
... and if you were the person who called my cell phone at 8:30 am that morning and then hung up (assuming it was a wrong number), I HATE YOU.
There was a Chipotle a half a block from our hotel. Farm Boy said we couldn't eat there, because we needed to do something DIFFERENT for a change. Arrrgggh.
So, that was my trip. Not very eventful. Steven Tyler and David Bowie were pieces of art in our room. In fact, David Bowie watched me shower a couple of times. Cheeky!! Oh, baby! Just you shut your mouth!
In our 48 hour whirlwind tour of Chicago, here are a few things we did:
* arrived at O'Hare at 7:30am.
* walked around Chicago like zombies for 3 hours until our room at the Hard Rock Hotel was ready. Thank you God for the Corner Bakery.
* ate at Bennigans.
* rode in too many taxis.
* watched a hockey game.
* ordered room service.
* slept late.
* strolled along Michigan Avenue.
* ate at the Cheesecake Factory (aka Grumpy's Nirvana).
* saw Chicago from Big John. And I'm deathly afraid of heights. I couldn't even go all the way up to the windows. C'mon! 94 stories!!! I'm dizzy just thinking about it.
* shopped at Water Tower Place.
* spent a crapload of money.
* went to the Shedd Aquarium. Watched beluga whale training. LOVE beluga whales!!!
* had a drink at the Hard Rock.
* ate dinner at the airport.
* flew through a nasty storm in a commuter jet. Didn't puke, but the guy behind me did.
* arrived home at 11:45pm.
* waited over an hour for luggage to arrive two flights later.
* drove home and finally went to bed around 1:30am.
... and if you were the person who called my cell phone at 8:30 am that morning and then hung up (assuming it was a wrong number), I HATE YOU.
There was a Chipotle a half a block from our hotel. Farm Boy said we couldn't eat there, because we needed to do something DIFFERENT for a change. Arrrgggh.
So, that was my trip. Not very eventful. Steven Tyler and David Bowie were pieces of art in our room. In fact, David Bowie watched me shower a couple of times. Cheeky!! Oh, baby! Just you shut your mouth!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Life is good again...
Same lighting... but the second pic (taken just minutes ago) is ever so MUCH better!!!
(like the dirty shower in the background? oops... forgot to pull the shower curtain behind me. Oh, well!)
*breathes a huge sigh of relief and gets ready to go to Chicago tomorrow!*
Monday, April 03, 2006
Why is this such a big deal?
Thanks to everyone for all the encouraging comments while I deal with something so superficial, yet also seemingly painful. I guess this whole "hair" thing should be a lesson in vanity for me. I rarely leave the house without making sure that I look "presentable."
My goal in appearance is not to try to "look hot" or to be some stupid bimbo. That is the last thing I want to do, because I'm the first person to rage against that mentality or lack thereof (read here: Paris, Britney, Jessica, Lindsay... you get the picture). Jurgen has already covered this rant... and quite eloquently, I might add... so I don't need to go into it again.
I do, however, want to feel I look my best when I go out... not so I can be a "head-turner," but so that I feel good about myself. Mostly, I just want to dress appropriately for my age and look nice. I already have a hot husband*. If he thinks I look good, that's good enough for me.
So, since the hair highlighting nightmare from Saturday, I've been so upset... so much so, that I think I missed the lesson in all of this. Until now.
My hair is not neon green. It isn't completely shaved off. It's just DIFFERENT. It doesn't change who I am... I'm still me. And this is totally fixable. By tomorrow noon, I'll be back to normal. But the bigger issue is that this little episode is not the end of the earth. I have a wonderful family, a nice home, food in my house, and money in the bank. If the worst thing that happens to me this year is that I got bad highlights, my life must be pretty damn good.
So no more whining about hair color. Unless they screw it up again tomorrow... and then I'll just have something more to blog about. ha ha ;-)
**Not only is the Farm Boy super hot, he's also intelligent, a good dad, and an all-around good guy. I'm so LUCCCCKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
My goal in appearance is not to try to "look hot" or to be some stupid bimbo. That is the last thing I want to do, because I'm the first person to rage against that mentality or lack thereof (read here: Paris, Britney, Jessica, Lindsay... you get the picture). Jurgen has already covered this rant... and quite eloquently, I might add... so I don't need to go into it again.
I do, however, want to feel I look my best when I go out... not so I can be a "head-turner," but so that I feel good about myself. Mostly, I just want to dress appropriately for my age and look nice. I already have a hot husband*. If he thinks I look good, that's good enough for me.
So, since the hair highlighting nightmare from Saturday, I've been so upset... so much so, that I think I missed the lesson in all of this. Until now.
My hair is not neon green. It isn't completely shaved off. It's just DIFFERENT. It doesn't change who I am... I'm still me. And this is totally fixable. By tomorrow noon, I'll be back to normal. But the bigger issue is that this little episode is not the end of the earth. I have a wonderful family, a nice home, food in my house, and money in the bank. If the worst thing that happens to me this year is that I got bad highlights, my life must be pretty damn good.
So no more whining about hair color. Unless they screw it up again tomorrow... and then I'll just have something more to blog about. ha ha ;-)
**Not only is the Farm Boy super hot, he's also intelligent, a good dad, and an all-around good guy. I'm so LUCCCCKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
This blonde does not have more fun...
Warning: girlie-ish post ahead...
I think I posted somewhere before about my stylist jumping ship and moving to another salon... and that this new salon is far away and extremely inconvenient. So, I stayed at my current salon and went with a new stylist.
Ladies, we know about our relationships with stylists. I don't know if most guys can relate... maybe some of you can. But, the relationship you have with your stylist is almost more important than a marriage. Of course, I'm saying this a little tongue-in-cheek, but I almost mean it for real. For MEGA REALZ. (okay, I just said that because I miss LA and Junk-Feud).
So, after six years of finding someone who really KNOWS how I like my hair, I'm just giving up and going to another stylist for my driving convenience. (Danger, danger, Will Robinson!) I've been to the new girl twice now. She does a great job of cutting, even though she doesn't style it exactly the way I like it. But so far, it's been okay. Yesterday, I went in for highlights. (Red alert!)
Usually, I get highlights and lowlights. I am a brunette, and as I've gotten older, I've taken my natural hair color a little lighter. This disguises the greys that are ever-multiplying, and I don't look all mousey brown. It's worked. I've been doing this since I was 30. I never colored my hair before the age of 30, but it's gone well the last seven years.
The highlights have been a very light brown... or dark blonde, if you will. The lowlights tend to be in the auburn family. It has worked very nicely, thank you very much. I've been happy.
Yesterday, new stylist girl tells me that previous stylist girl took all my info with her when she moved salons. So... there are no cards listing the exact formula of highlights/lowlights. I'm like... okay. We can "punt" here, right?
New stylist girl: "It's spring now... are you thinking of going a little lighter than what you already have?"
Me: "Sure... nothing drastic... just a little lighter. "
New stylist girl: "Do you want both highlights and lowlights, or do you want to go with a nice blended highlight only?"
Me (feeling brave): "Let's just do highlights today, I guess. That would be fine."
So, we do the highlights. In the salon, it looks okay. I go out to my car... in the sunlight...
Me: "Wow. This is a little blonder than I thought. Hmmm..."
Then I drive three hours to watch my oldest daughter and her school chums perform in some competition. The whole drive up, I keep telling my mom, who made the trip with me... "I'm just not sure about this." When we arrive at our destination, I run into people I know. Strange looks from adults. Many of my daughter's friends tell me that they like the new hair change. Teenagers complimenting me. I'm still unsure. Then I finally get a chance to talk to my daughter.
Daughter: "Oh my God, mom! What did you do to your hair?"
This was not said in a surprised and approving tone. It sounded more like sheer horror.
So, here are some before and after shots... the first one is about 4 years ago. The second was last Thanksgiving. The third one is today. :-(
HELL NO. So, now... I have to make an appointment tomorrow to get this fixed. I don't have anything against blondes... I'm just not one. My complexion does not work with blonde hair. Arrrgggh!!!
**UPDATE: I'm going in on Tuesday morning to have them fix it. For free. YAY!
I think I posted somewhere before about my stylist jumping ship and moving to another salon... and that this new salon is far away and extremely inconvenient. So, I stayed at my current salon and went with a new stylist.
Ladies, we know about our relationships with stylists. I don't know if most guys can relate... maybe some of you can. But, the relationship you have with your stylist is almost more important than a marriage. Of course, I'm saying this a little tongue-in-cheek, but I almost mean it for real. For MEGA REALZ. (okay, I just said that because I miss LA and Junk-Feud).
So, after six years of finding someone who really KNOWS how I like my hair, I'm just giving up and going to another stylist for my driving convenience. (Danger, danger, Will Robinson!) I've been to the new girl twice now. She does a great job of cutting, even though she doesn't style it exactly the way I like it. But so far, it's been okay. Yesterday, I went in for highlights. (Red alert!)
Usually, I get highlights and lowlights. I am a brunette, and as I've gotten older, I've taken my natural hair color a little lighter. This disguises the greys that are ever-multiplying, and I don't look all mousey brown. It's worked. I've been doing this since I was 30. I never colored my hair before the age of 30, but it's gone well the last seven years.
The highlights have been a very light brown... or dark blonde, if you will. The lowlights tend to be in the auburn family. It has worked very nicely, thank you very much. I've been happy.
Yesterday, new stylist girl tells me that previous stylist girl took all my info with her when she moved salons. So... there are no cards listing the exact formula of highlights/lowlights. I'm like... okay. We can "punt" here, right?
New stylist girl: "It's spring now... are you thinking of going a little lighter than what you already have?"
Me: "Sure... nothing drastic... just a little lighter. "
New stylist girl: "Do you want both highlights and lowlights, or do you want to go with a nice blended highlight only?"
Me (feeling brave): "Let's just do highlights today, I guess. That would be fine."
So, we do the highlights. In the salon, it looks okay. I go out to my car... in the sunlight...
Me: "Wow. This is a little blonder than I thought. Hmmm..."
Then I drive three hours to watch my oldest daughter and her school chums perform in some competition. The whole drive up, I keep telling my mom, who made the trip with me... "I'm just not sure about this." When we arrive at our destination, I run into people I know. Strange looks from adults. Many of my daughter's friends tell me that they like the new hair change. Teenagers complimenting me. I'm still unsure. Then I finally get a chance to talk to my daughter.
Daughter: "Oh my God, mom! What did you do to your hair?"
This was not said in a surprised and approving tone. It sounded more like sheer horror.
So, here are some before and after shots... the first one is about 4 years ago. The second was last Thanksgiving. The third one is today. :-(
HELL NO. So, now... I have to make an appointment tomorrow to get this fixed. I don't have anything against blondes... I'm just not one. My complexion does not work with blonde hair. Arrrgggh!!!
**UPDATE: I'm going in on Tuesday morning to have them fix it. For free. YAY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
