WHY #1. MSNBC's report titled, "Beware the door-to-door free breast exam guy."
Okay, so some guys are now slapping the foreheads, muttering, "Why didn't I think of that?"
But that's not the reason for adding this article. If you read through it, you'll find that two women, in their 30s, let this guy in and BELIEVED him. No ID. No proof of anything. He's some old, white-haired pervert who claimed to be a doctor. And they bought it. Huh? Wha? Sorry... if any guy knocks on my door with a free offer to examine "the ladies"-- I'm calling the cops.
WHY #2. WHY would anyone want to be a stripper?!?! I don't know whom I believe in the Duke LaCrosse players/stripper rape case. I'm not taking sides. I'm not blaming strippers who are victims of senseless crimes because of their chosen profession or lifestyle. What I really want to know is simply... why would anyone choose to be a stripper? Seriously. Unless you have major exhibitionist issues, why would you choose that "profession?" I know there's money involved. Many women who choose that path say that they are forced to do it to support themselves. Funny. Anytime I've ever been out of a job, I've never had to resort to stripping for cash. I've worked some less than satisfactory jobs... but stripping was never one of them.
Sidenote: One of my bosses in a previous job did offer me $1000 to dance in my underwear on a bar table. He actually had the cash with him and put it on the table. I said no. What I should have done was to sue his ass.
Why is Kellie Pickler still on American Idol? Sure, she has a great, heartwrenching backstory. She's cute and perky. But she does not have the caliber of voice to win this contest... that is, if America has its head on straight.
Photo credit: MTV
WHY #4. Big-screen version of the immensely popular TV show, Dallas-- is this necessary? Maybe. But the casting?
CNN Entertainment reports that John Travolta will play JR Ewing, and Jennifer Lopez will play his wife, Sue Ellen.
Are you kidding me?!?! Here's how I envision a scene between these two (WARNING! If you under the age of 35 or have never watched Welcome Back, Kotter on Nick at Nite, please stop reading here).
Sue Ellen: Ohmigod, baby! You've been shot!
Sue Ellen: You! Can't you see it? Wait. Let me move my beautiful booty out of the way. There... can't you see it?
Sue Ellen: Your gunshot wound! Wow. There are a lot of rumors going around about me right now. People say I like to get married a lot. But, I'm telling you, I didn't do this! Hmmm... who WILL I marry after you die?
Sue Ellen: Oh, it's right THERE. In your gut. Here, let me help you up.
JR: Would ya just watch the hair? Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair.
Sue Ellen: Who hit your hair? What are you talking about? You're impossible! I'm leaving for a meeting with my agent to see if this film can possibly help people forget that I was in that turkey, Gigli.
This concludes this week's Friday Why Files...