Friday, May 12, 2006

Friday Why Files... Late Edition

Well, it's almost Saturday, but I still have a little while yet to post this week's Friday Why Files.

Why #1: WHY does anyone care anymore? Has Ashlee Simpson had a nose job? I don't CARE!

Why #2: From a Reuters news story: "More than 60% of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth..." First of all, OUCH. Secondly, floss anyone?

Why #3: WARNING: opinion ahead. Zacarias Moussaoui (co-conspirator of the Sept. 11 tragedies) wants to change his plea to not guilty, after being found guilty. Huh?!? Dude, you confessed. You pleaded guilty. They found you guilty. Done. There is no passing GO to collect $200.

On top of that, his sentence has angered a lot of people. They thought he should have received the death penalty instead of life imprisonment. Reminder to these people: the other guys he worked with chose to die for their cause. A death sentence for Moussaoui would be giving him something he wants. Letting him rot in a cell for the rest of his life will be torture to him. And that's all I have to say about that.

Why #4: Somewhere in Maryland... a funky odor led authorities to find over 100 cats and dogs in a house. I know there is some named disorder for this, but I don't feel like looking it up. What on earth would possess someone to do this? I have two little dogs, and I think that's too many for me. In fact, there are days when I walk into my home and freak out a little, because I detect even the slightest whiff of "dog." Can you imagine the stench of over 100 animals in one home? Gah! My stomach is queasy just thinking about it!

Why #5: Supermodel falls out of a bus (at 50 mph/80.5km), because she opened the emergency exit in the bus restroom (WC) instead of the door that would take her back to the passenger area. Why was she left unattended? We all know supermodels need special attention.

... and that concludes today's Friday Why Files.


Master Peebody said...

Don't care about ashlee.

Hello, tooth pick?????

What did this zacarias guy do anyway, all i head was his sentence.

I have two small dogs also, and thats enough for me too.

Sorry, but really, people just can't be that stupid. What was her excuse? I got turned around in the toilet and got confused about were i was! How the hell has she surived this long!

goldennib said...

Ashlee who?

How the hell do you possiblly get a screwdriver between your teeth?

I think solitary for the rest of his life would be appropriate.

Keeping 100 animals together in a house like that is animal abuse.

Good thing she's got looks. She better make lots of money now, so she has something to live on when they go.

Anonymous said...

I'm trying not to make a comment about Britons and teeth...

Completely agree with you on Moussaoui.

I have three cats, two covered litterboxes (they are side-by-side in the laundry room like bathroom stalls), and we all rock-paper-scissors when anything stinky occurs. I tried to stop at two, but the last two came together. Sigh.

I'm thinking the supermodel probably doesn't even have her looks anymore, after falling from a moving bus? And here's a good legal question - what the HELL was an exit door doing in the bathroom??? What if a kid was in there and did that? Let's weigh the chance of a need for emergency exit from the WC against liability from someone choosing the wrong door while the bus is tooling down the road full speed...

Ludicrousity said...

People are idiots pretty much sums it up.

I read about that teeth thing yesterday. SO wrong! It hurt me to think about it!

Red said...

Did that really happen to a model? That's so funny! Actually, I probably could've made it onto Oy Vey's stupid questions list with that one; of course it happened or you wouldn't have included it here.

Gabrielle said...

What I want to know is, how come there are all these people called supermodels whom I've never heard about? Surely if they were THAt super, we'd all know who they were, right? Ah, as if I even give a toss!

hannah said...

That artwork spans so many queries!!!

Is that Ass-lee Simpson sans nose?

Is that supposed to be you withe a new red 'do?

Is that a Brit hiding their skankly teef?

Is that the supermodel? Did she lose her nose in the accident? (however, that story has to be, by far, one of the most brilliant news items of the year. Seriously, who falls out of a bus?!?)

Don't leave us hanging here!

Julie_Gong said...

How can everyone not care about Ashlee Simpson! She is the bestest singer in the whole world! BESTEST!

Paisley said...

#8 is so funny I almost didn't believe you. That is hilarious. What is it they say celebs use the RR for instead of potty? Maybe that impeded her BRAIN.

hee hee

...and I agree with Gabrielle. If we've never heard of her, I think she's just a model. So there.

don't call me MA'AM said...

Everyone: I hope that most of the world forgets about anyone with the last name of Simpson, unless they are cartoon characters. Then we can all say "Ashlee who?" ;-)

MPB: Moussaoui is one of the co-conspirators in the Sept. 11 tragedies here in the states.

Hannah: None of the above. It is not artwork that is to resemble me or anyone else... other than the face I was making while I read most of those "news" stories.

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