Swearing. It's a guilty pleasure. I actually relish releasing a torrent of obscenities out of my mouth... as long as no one else is around. Well, okay. Farm Boy can be around. But that's it. It's sometimes good for releasing pent-up frustration. I can actually feel loads better after a nasty rant.
In public, around the kids, in front of friends or family, though... it's just not cool. In most cases, it's beyond inappropriate. I don't swear aloud in public, other than an occasional "dammit" or "what the hell was that?!?" I don't want to be that trashy lady with the sailor's mouth. I also hate swearing in front of my kids, because I don't want them to talk like that.
Ah, but herein lies the dilemma. The more you swear, um, well... the more you swear. And if you hang around with people who swear... it's CONTAGIOUS. When I'm alone in my car, road rage takes over and I swear through my car windows. I guess that's not so bad, unless other drivers can read my lips... or when I remember that there are kids in the backseat (laughing their arses off!).
So, I guess I need to quit cold turkey. I know I won't be able to do it immediately, but it's worth a try. Or at least, I can quit certain words... one in particular. I can type it with creating spellings, or even in a funny Irish accent. I mean, "fooking" is pretty funny when you say it out loud. It's even somewhat funny to type.
But as for you, Mr. F-Bomb, I think we need to part ways. Sure, it's been fun having you around. You function as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and a really swell interjection. You roll off the tongue with such ease, yet you are powerfully crass at the same time. But... here's the thing. I look a lot like the girl-next-door. I'm that "girl" that everyone seems to think is such a NICE girl (well, those who don't read this blog anyway). And you and me? We just don't fit. We can't make this relationship work anymore, and I'm sorry. I'll miss you, but it's time to say "so long." Hasta la vista. Adieu.
(I give myself less than 24 hours before one slips out)