Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Just call me Sybil...

There is a struggle between my self and my other selves that is never-ending. There's Morning Grumpy, there's Afternoon Grumpy, and then there's Nighttime Grumpy.

Afternoon Grumpy and Nighttime Grumpy get along fairly well most of the time. But neither one of them likes Morning Grumpy at all. Not one bit.

You see, Afternoon Grumpy (AG) and Nighttime Grumpy (NG) are very motivated. They love to actually DO things... exercise, work around the house, do laundry, spend time with the family, go for walks, etc., etc.

Morning Grumpy (MG) is a lazy, pathetic sloth. The alarm goes off during the work week, and she hits snooze. No. Matter. What. When she's expected to get to work on time, she's the one that takes her sweet little time, bargaining that she can sleep 15 more minutes and still get there with no problem. Usually, she's wrong. And then AG has to deal with the fallout for the rest of the day... having to stay later at work than she really wants to.

Right now, all the Grumpy selves are on vacation. There aren't too many mornings when they have to be up at all! However, AG and NG are very excited about all the possibilities of how to use this vacation time. There's so much that could be done, if only they could drag MG out of bed.

Last week, as well as Monday and Tuesday of this week, MG has won. There hasn't been a day yet when there's been something to do early in the day. Even getting the oldest daughter to summer school by 7:30am (oh, isn't that just a cruel joke for kids during summer vacation!!!)... well, she can drive herself. She's back by 10am, and most days, MG hasn't even gotten her lazy arse out of bed! In fact, yesterday, MG was so bad, that she even convinced AG and NG to lie around all day and watch movies. ALL DAY. Yeah, there was the business of the nasty headache, but that's not the point.

So, I'm just not sure what to do. You see, as great as AG and NG are, they are not in control. MG is always in control, because she sets the tone first thing in the day. And no matter what they say they want to do the next day, MG is the one who makes the final decision:

11pm- Nighttime Grumpy: "Tomorrow morning, I'm going to be up no later than 8:30am, throw in a load of laundry, go for a walk while it's still somewhat cool outside, and then take the girls to the pool." [NG goes to sleep]

8am- Morning Grumpy: "What was that imbecile thinking? I'm tired, and I'm going back to sleep." [instantly returns to Dreamland]

9:30am- Morning Grumpy: *yawn* Hmmm... I might be a little hungry, but OH! Look! Drop Dead Fred is on! I love this movie!" [proceeds to watch the entire movie...still in bed]

11:30am- Morning Grumpy: "I'm hungry. Maybe I should have some breakfast. Oh, look. It's already too late to go for a walk. Oh, well. "

12:00pm- Afternoon Grumpy: "%&#$!!!! That fooking MG wasted another whole morning!!"

I'm starting to really dislike this MG. A lot. (and it's entirely possible I should be in therapy)


goldennib said...

I would like to get me an MG.

don't call me MA'AM said...

goldennib: MG only comes along once children are able to get up on their own, feed themselves, and dress themselves. When they were younger, there was no such thing as a MG.

Red said...

I want to hang out with the Grumpy that likes to watch Drop Dead Fred!

Paisley said...

That's hilarious. I say enjoy it and dont' give yourself such a hard time. I mean, you are so fortunate to have this opportunity. I'm AT work by 7:30 which means I have to get in the car by 6:30. Next time you want to hit the snooze, just turn it off and lay in bed and watch a Lifetime movie for me.


Jaek said...

Drop Dead Fred is awesome.

Being unemployed, it's kind of like I'm on permenant vacaction, so the Morning King always wants to sleep in, but the Diamond Princess and the Emerald Prince always wake up before 8am. They're still little. 5 1/2 & 3.

However, I am in the process of enrolling in college for the fall and have appointments each week. That forces me to get up and get going.

don't call me MA'AM said...

red: I think I needed a Drop Dead Fred when I was a kid. I was WAY too serious. You just put a piece of broccoli in your mouth and said, "Mm, what a lovely piece of broccoli. UGH!"

paisley: If I didn't have so much to get done while I'm on 'vacation,' I would not feel guilty about it at all. But you should see my house. SERIOUSLY. Gah.

jaek: my youngest one didn't sleep through the night until she was 7. She was up at 4:30 every morning. Arrrgh. I know what you mean!

Anonymous said...

Again, I think we're related. This is me, completely.

don't call me MA'AM said...

tammara: well, if you find a solution, share with me, PLEASE! I hate being this way. gah.

MiMaw said...

My Man says, "I use to wake up grouchy, but now I let her sleep." He makes the coffee out of self defense... it was either colored water or so strong it would knock his socks off (if he was wearing any). Mornings should be saved for late afternoons!