Sunday, June 04, 2006

Layers of Flavor? Ummmm... NO.

Okay. I feel a rant coming on.

I understand that "fast food," as a concept, is not intended to be nutritious. However, it seemed like we were making some gains in the last few years where some fast food places were actually offering some healthy (or at least healthier) alternatives to their usual fare.

But now, it's like we're regressing again. The burger joints are racing to see which one can build the biggest, nastiest, heart-attack-in-a-paper-wrapper before all the others. How many pounds of bacon come on that triple?!?!

The nastiest thing I've seen advertised, though, is that mess from the "fried chicken place that shall no longer allow the word "fried" to be uttered in its advertisement." Something Krusty Fowl City? You know of whom I type. Here's how I'm guessing they came up with their new menu specialty--

Some yokel from the braintrust of Krusty Fowl City: "Hmmmm... what can we make now that will entice people to clog their arteries and store fat like there's no tomorrow? How about a cloud of fluffy mashed potatoes, layered beneath corn, deep-fried chicken strips, and gravy... then topped off with some melted cheese! Brilliant!!!"

Blech! Seriously... is there anyone out there that finds this appealing?!?! If you do, please let me know!

You know what it reminds me of? Did you ever go to a family reunion where you had this crazy picnic with all of your octogenarian relatives? Those same great aunts and uncles who filled their plates with everything on the buffet... and then proceeded to stir it all together into one giant mess. And then they ATE IT. *shudders*

I'm guessing that might be how Krusty Fowl City came up with this idea.... 'cause I can't imagine why anyone with all their original teeth would actually ask for it.

22 comments:

Farm Boy said...

Anyone who uses the word octogenarian in a sentence is WAY too pretentious for me....

don't call me MA'AM said...

be nice, honey...

Kim said...

I saw a story on the news the other day about a minor league ball park that was making...

...wait for it...

Burgers with Krispy Kreme doughnuts cut in half as the buns!

Blah!

Master Peebody said...

Did you get my email with them massive burgers? I think they'd be right up there for the biggest, nastiest, heart-attack-in-a-paper-wrapper, but then, they didn't have wrappers on them and they weren't fast food........so i guess there goes that idea! :P

Ludicrousity said...

That just looks and sounds wrong! Go disgusting! What is wrong with people that they would a) think that looks good to eat and b) actually buy it and proceed to insert it into their body! Talk about disgusting!!!

Hey DCMM, do you have msn messenger?

Mmmm... Krispy Kreme. best donuts ever. Apprently we're getting a store in Melbourne. They only exist in Sydney at the moment. So sad...

goldennib said...

This sounds a little like what we did as kids at Thanksgiving. You take your mashed taters, corn and cut up turkey and cover with gravy, then smush all together. After shoveling in a mouth full, you show each other your open mouth when the parental units were looking the other way. No laughing allowed/aloud.

Dboy said...

I am truly agog.

I know! Let's put some ice-cream in there too! How convenient. And then fudge, and topping, and sprinkles, and some bacon (mmmm, bacon), and some shavings of steak... oh! and some caviar, and how about them cow eggs, and last but not least, a tangerine to make it healthy.

I should work for Krusty Fowl City I reckon.

Gabrielle said...

YumBO!! Sounds like my KFC burrito. Take one breast, peel the skin off, plop in some potatoes and gravy, coleslaw and fries, then roll it all up and dig in. Ohhhhh yeahhhhhhhh baby!

I haven't had that in some time, but I just might need to hunt me down a KFC. It's probably a good thing they're rare here :P

Stinkypaw said...

What 's worst though, that they make this crap or that people actually order it?!

Personnally I think the visual image I had reading your post was far worst than the actual Krusty Fowl City idea....

The thought of seeing the plate of someome without all their original teeth... yikes! Thanks for the image!

don't call me MA'AM said...

kim: that made me throw up a little in my mouth. Not the combo I'd hope for, anyway. Eww.

MPB: yeah, I did. Those were huge hamburgers. Blech!

ludi: junk food is addictive. I guess that's the only explanation.
As for MSN Messenger... I used to have it, but honestly don't have time to use it. I am barely able to post and read other blogs as it is. :-(

goldennib: my grandpa never let any of his food touch... separate bowls for salads, etc. I guess we learned it from him.

dboy: If you work there, you have to stir the mashed potatoes and gravy with your arm. haha just kidding

gabrielle: are you serious? Really?

stinkypaw: BOTH. If people wouldn't eat it, they wouldn't have it on their menu for long.

Homer said...

Reminds me of my favorite burger:

2 slices American cheese
1 big, fat dripping burger
Some pork rinds
Waffle batter
More cheese
Some ketchup
Some barbecue sauce
Another burger
More cheese
Pork chop
Ketchup
A chicken wing or two
More cheese, ketchup and barbecue sauce
Another burger
Some ham and or bacon

Serve boiling hot with a couple of Duffs.

Margus said...

Reminds me of way - way back in the day when I worked at Subway and we used to make a sandwich with every type of meat times two, add some cheese and then top it off with meatballs and marinara. Sooo-good!

wire said...

hello vomit bowl.

Gabrielle said...

GF, I am *absolutely* serious!!! Of course, I know it's a heart attack waiting to happen so I don't have it anymore, but when I was a kid, oh yeah, baby! Drove my Pritiken-diet-devotee mother spare :P

hannah said...

Wow, yuck. And I thought I was strange for dipping my "Wenly's" french fries in my "Froosty."

Anyone else do that? Deeeelightful.

Ludicrousity said...

It's really just a DHA. A digestible heart attack...

Guinness_Girl said...

Hannah, I'm a HUGE fan of dipping the fries into the froosty, and everyone I know thinks I'm disgusting for it! Yay - I'm no longer alone in the world!

DCMM, that chicken bowl concoction looks absolutely vomituous (a GG-made-up-word) to me. I commented to Wilman to that effect after watching the commercial once, and he was completely shocked. He really wants to try it, disgustingly enough...BOYS.

don't call me MA'AM said...

homer: you're disgusting... and quit changing usernames, ya big loser!

margus: I don't even want to guess what the fat and cholesterol content was on that sandwich. My arteries are clogging just thinking about it.

wire: my sentiments exactly.

gabrielle: I'm stunned. It reminds me of some of the taco places here that have a meat and potatoes burrito... loaded with everything. yucky.

hannah: Yes, I do dip my fries in the Froosty. It's very tasty... I used to work there, and we all did that!

ludi: Yay! Another acronym for me to use. There's another fast food place here that is advertising a cheeseburger with a Philly cheesesteak plopped on the top. Very high DHA factor!

gg: Really? My husband is even a little grossed out by the chicken bowl thing.

tammara said...

My entire family was silent for about 3 seconds after we first saw that commercial, because I think we were all waiting for the punchline. When it became obvious that they were seriously, we hurled comments of scorn at the tv. And then the older boy said, "Well, maybe without the cheese..." My daughter and I are with Wire.

tammara said...

Seriously serious? Sorry, I'm suffering from loss of sleep lately...

don't call me MA'AM said...

tammara: we did, too! We thought it was some promo for SNL or something. I just sat there like "wha' happened" when the commercial ended, and another came on.

I think some guy at work said the same thing as your son. He thought the cheese would ruin it. Personally, the cheese is probably the only part I would eat! ;-)

Gabrielle said...

No, Hannah, but here's another one for you, only to be done in a darkened movie theater: take your ice-cream (whatever flavor, it's all good) then moosh it into your popcorn and lick the popcorn off the ice cream. 2 reasons: you don't have to put down the ice cream to get a handful of popcorn, and it tastes daaaaaaamn good!