Friday, June 16, 2006

Friday Why Files... and you know I have to "go there."

WHY #1: There are two people that I try never to mention on this site: Tomas Crazy and The Mouseketeer that Went Very, Very Wrong. But I have to do so today regarding the latter nutjob.

Why did anyone find Britney's life fascinating enough to devote an entire episode of Dateline to her? I know... the paparazzi can be hell. I sympathize with most celebrities, because I'm sure it would totally suck, never having one moment of privacy. BUT... if you make out with Madonna on MTV, aka putting yourself out there to get attention, in addition to many, MANY more press-grabbing ploys, I don't have a lot of sympathy.
btw, we watched about 20 minutes- out of sheer morbid curiosity, akin to a trainwreck- and decided that girl needs a new publicist/PR/spokesperson STAT. I was embarrassed for her.

WHY #2: Did anyone see Garfield, The Movie? If you did, I'm sorry. And so are you. But the bigger issue is... don't movies need to be somewhat successful to result in a sequel? So, then my question is: WHY was "A Tail of Two Kitties" ever made? The reviews are outstanding. Or not so much.

WHY #3: Why don't people read and 'heed' expiration dates? (you'd think the greenish tint to the pancakes would be a big clue.)

WHY #4: Why would they keep building this school on a site known to have been a former cemetery? Didn't these people see Poltergeist? To quote my favorite crazy, Miss Whitney Houston, "Hell to the NO!"

WHY #5: After all the "What Not to Wear"-type shows, as well as ridicule left and right, why do people (mostly men) still wear black socks*, pulled up mid-calf, while wearing shorts? Please. Somebody help me understand.

WHY #6: Why does some idiot at every televised golf tournament feel the need to bellow "It's in the hole!" for every shot? It could be a tee shot, an approach, a chip, a putt... it doesn't matter. Billy Joe Bob is always there, most likely in his wifebeater and denim cutoffs, ensuring that he gets his 15 seconds of air time.

EDIT: I had to include one more: WHY #7: Why does Burger King continue with the crazy commercials? I mean, I like the chicken on the motorcycle. In and of itself, it's pretty comical. A chicken on a motorcycle. Ha ha. But WHY is there a song in the background, "Big Hucking Chicken?" What does "hucking" mean anyway? I looked it up, and it's not even a recognized word.
UPDATE: Thanks to DBJ, who informed this oldster that to "huck" means to launch something upwards... as in motocross, skateboarding, etc.

This concludes today's Friday Why Files.

*Okay, the black socks piece reminds me of an experience I must relate. I saw a real-life Pat today... you know, the androgenous/ambiguously-gendered person who was born on Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s? I saw a person today in the grocery store parking lot... dressed in khaki shorts, Hawaiian print shirt, black socks and loafers. The black socks made me lean toward believing this person was male, but the closer he/she moved toward me, the more confused I became. Hair was curly and just above the shoulder, and the face divulged no gender-specific information whatsoever. He/She was built very similarly to Pat, so I couldn't guess at body parts, either. Chalk this up to Moment # 463,021 where I severely regret not having my camera with me. :-(


Stinkypaw said...

#1 - was changing channel when I saw her - just could not believed how much she had changed, never was a fan and now I'm getting tired of her crying.

#3 - the gene pool is in serious need of chlorine if people don't read/care about expiration date.

#4 - I guess that contractor/project manager isn't superstitious AT ALL!

#5 - black socks? what about white or beige socks in sandals!!

So many questions and so little answers... Have a great weekend! =^..^=

Guinness_Girl said...

"To quote my favorite crazy, Miss Whitney Houston, "Hell to the NO!"


Ludicrousity said...

After many many 'why files' the only thing I think that should be concluded is that people are odd and beyond explanation. We just have to accept that we are part of a race of insane nutjobs. I'm sure I'm guilty of falling into that category at times...

Ludicrousity said...

Oh, and I do feel a bit of sympathy to Brittney. Sure she's done lots and lots of dumb stuff, and I don't really respect her, but the press make her life a living hell. I do not envy her.

don't call me MA'AM said...

stinkypaw: glad we think alike. :-)

gg: Miss Whitney is about tops in the unintentional humor scale. Sad, really... but funny, too. ;-)

ludi: exactly! It's scary to think how many truly stupid people are out there. Of course, that doesn't apply to any of us! haha

I sympathize with celebrities who don't throw themselves at the cameras for publicity, like Reese Witherspoon, for example. Britney, however, wants the publicity when SHE wants it... but then she wants them to leave her alone. You can't have it both ways.

Greg said...

I only heard soundclips of the Brit interview, but there was a point when the topic was K-Fed and Matt Lauer just straight-out asked, "What do you see in him?" And she said, "Well, he's simple..." That kind of made me cringe a bit... I like my husband because he's an idiot, basically. And she's right.

Matt was asking some pretty hardcore questions, though, and I sort of felt sorry, but then again, you make a great point about the publicity stunts she's pulled in the past. You really do have to ask, "Well, what do you expect?"

Garfield's DVD sales (I think) were kick-ass, and I think they made up for enough of the poor showing to make it a good bet for a sequel. Think about it... the first Austin Powers was technically a failure in the box office. And it turned into a SERIOUS brand. I think rental and DVD sales talked New Line into giving Mike another shot. Good call!

Greg said...

Okay, well, I and the makers of Garfield were wrong because the sequel only placed sixth on its opening weekend. I'm originally from the home of Garfield in East Central Indiana, so this is someone with Garfield roots talking here. I think it's about time we put the cat to sleep.

goldennib said...

I only saw a very small part of the BS interview. I couldn't help but wonder in what world she thought chewing gum and having her boobs hang all over the place would help her image. Cow, in this case, would be an appropriate term. I don't feel sorry for her because she seeks bad press. She's one of those people who will go for any attention, good or bad, as long as someone watches her. I feel sorry for her kids.

DJB said...

Huck:to launch something upwards as when a motocross rider, mountain biker, or skateboarder is launched into the air from a ramp.

as in "Tony Hawks boom boom huck jam"

Blogger said...

Anyone else is interested in a FREE BURGER KING GIFTCARD?