Saturday, February 17, 2007

Excuse Me... Can We Have Some Chlorine Over Here??

I hate stupid people. And by stupid, I mean those who choose NOT to use their brains. Stupid people are taking over the planet.

There's a really bad movie called Idiocracy, starring Luke Wilson. Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead, King of the Hill) wrote it, directed it, produced it, etc. The basic plot is Luke Wilson is in the US army, gets volunteered for a cryogenic-like experiment, and through some egregious oversight, is forgotten for 500 years.

When he is 'awakened,' the planet is overtaken with dumbasses. The theory here is that smart people choose not to procreate early in their lives, and then they just run out of time to have a family. The lesser intelligent folks are out polluting the gene pool with everyone under the sun. So, society 500 years later is dominated by complete idiots. I won't go into the details, because much of the movie was incredibly lame. HOWEVER, the whole plot is starting to make sense to me. I am beginning to think it's where society is headed. While watching this movie, I was glad I didn't waste money paying for it. Ever since then, I've been more and more convinced of Mike Judge's brilliance.

Example #1: The Farm Boy and I just returned from a short trip... we drove about 180 miles east of our city. On the drive out, we ran straight into the effects of the Alberta clipper that passed through. There were several winter storm watches and blowing snow advisories. You'd think people in the midwest would know how to handle weather like this. But NOOOOO*. On our way back this morning, we counted 58 vehicles in the ditches, in the grassy medians, and down steep embankments... all in about a 50 mile stretch. 58! And that didn't take into account all the cars that had already been towed out overnight. The basic mistake for most of them was speed, icy patches on the interstate, and sudden braking. We saw some of it happen. People who were in a hurry sped past us, only to have to slam on their brakes when they came upon the other twenty or so cars also going slowly to prevent accidents. Of the 58 cars, 32 were trucks or SUVs with four-wheel drive. Umm, hello? I know you feel all superior-like, but here's a bulletin for you: four-wheel drive does not stop you on ice. I'm not the only person on the planet with this enlightening information. Wake up, pull your head out of your arse, and drive carefully... before you kill someone. Thank you.

Example #2: My mother always taught me not to talk while there was food in my mouth. It's something I guess I take for granted... plus, it just makes sense. Apparently, Mr. Loud-Mouth Moron sitting in the seat directly behind me at the hockey game last night never had a mother who taught him this very important lesson.

I guess it's okay to yell at the refs while you have a mouthful of beer, and I guess it's okay if you happen to spray the nice lady in front of you in the back of the head. I guess it's also okay to call the other team (the one she's rooting for) a bunch of pansies whilst chowing down on cheap nachos. She won't mind that half-eaten nacho chip that so ever-so-delicately lands on her shoulder. And apparently when she turns around and gives you the biggest stink-eye ever seen from one human being to another, you are too stupid to understand why she is pissed. Luckily, her mother also taught her that she is too small to kick your ass... because, believe me. She had every intention to do so. Actually, you're lucky your little boy was there, because, even though she's too small to take you on, she would have taken the heel of her shoe and smashed your skull in. You know, your skull? That part of your noggin with NOTHING IN IT.

*I know some accidents happen in bad weather and are truly no one's fault... bad weather just happens sometimes. Last night was ridiculous, though. People were driving over 70 mph in that weather, weaving in and out of icy lanes with blowing snow and low visibility. That's just asking for something terrible to happen. Plus, it's just STUPID.


Aimless Penguin said...

that sounds rather depressing actually... it's amazing how stupid some people can be. maybe lack of blood to the brain will cause them to be wiped out instead?
that's not a stupid suggestion at all :P

goldennib said...

I'm kind of getting used to really stupid people being stupid, but the thing that is making me angry are the stupid people blaming other people for not protecting them from their own stupidity and even expecting to be paid for not being protected from their own stupidity, like the lady who was awared millions for drinking hot coffee. Coffee is F-in hot, you idiot. Oh I sorry I should have blown on it for you. Asses everyone one of them.

metalia said...

I heard about that movie; it sounds ridiculous. Also, because I'm making a habit of commenting on stuff from your sidebar, are you enjoying The History of Love?! I *loved* that book.

don't call me MA'AM said...

aimless: I agree! Every time I encounter some moron, I feel more and more hopeless about the future!
Oh, and I just realized that you somehow disappeared out of my blogroll, but I got you back in! Yay!

goldennib: Exactly. Maybe we could put some kind of restriction on lawyers about certain parameters being met before they accept a case... like, you can't be stupid and win millions of dollars for doing so!

metalia: It wasn't a very good movie, but I'm telling you... every day since I watched it, it's starting to make more and more sense. Scary.

I haven't had time to read much of "The History of Love" yet, but I do like what I have read so far!

Julie_Gong said...

Isn't there a Mel Gibson movie that is very close to this same plot?

3carnations said...

Yuck to the guy behind you. Did no one teach him manners?

A couple weeks ago my 2 year old son reminded my husband that "We shouldn't talk while we're chewing."

Sparkling Cipher said...

Ah, shame that it's bad. I like Mike Judge usually - I love King of the Hill enough to forgive Beavis and Butthead. And Luke Wilson is adorable.

The stupid drivers - I hear you. I'm just waiting for one of those idiots flying down the highway to hit me so that I can poke my finger in his chest and yell, "And just WHAT did you think was going to happen when you hit an ICY PATCH! Are you TRYING to KILL PEOPLE?!"

lizgwiz said...

Stupid people are a big part of the reason I'm increasingly leery of driving in bad weather. Stupid people + giant SUVs = big time trouble.

Driving along a nasty stretch of highway in a storm once (actually my friend was driving, I was frozen in fear in the passenger seat) we saw one huge pickup fly off the side of the road and land upside down, then another big vehicle come sailing up behind us, only to throw on his brakes and plow right into a car that had already slid up against the median, effectively pinning an elderly couple inside. All within about 20 seconds, and all completely avoidable. It was terrifying.

Stinkypaw said...

Winter driving is often dangerous by itself so adding stupid drivers to the mix makes it very risky. THEY are everywhere!

Manners are like intelligent people; endangered species! least you made it back safe & sound!

don't call me MA'AM said...

julie_gong: kind of... the Gibson movie was more of a chick flick and serious and all that.

3carnations: Let's put it this way... I was surprised that he had teeth.

sparkling cipher: the movie grows on you, though... the more I think about it, the better it was.

lizgwiz: I was white knuckling most of the way out there, so the Farm Boy drove back. Plus, he likes when I let him be the man. ;-) It was pretty terrifying, though!

stinkypaw: stupid drivers, stupid everything. It's getting too scary around here.

Paisley said...

#2 - that is so disgusting. GROSS. I don't think I would have been able to stand it. I may have lost my mind.

Also - glad Chipotle made you feel better.


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