It never ceases to amaze me how lame some suggestion lists are when it comes to Valentine's Day. Yes, I know... it's not a "real" holiday... it's one you either love or hate... I get that. But I still read the lists anyway, because I find humor in what is assumed as a good gift idea. I rarely use those ideas myself... I much prefer being a little more creative. But the suggestion lists are always good for a few laughs. Like these suggestions, all from actual websites advertising Valentine's Gift Ideas:
1. A Valentine "Assortment of Romantic Cheeses in a Gift Box" by igourmet.com. Romantic cheeses? Don't get me wrong... I lovey the cheeses. Love, love, love. But ROMANTIC? What exactly makes a cheese romantic?
2. 32 oz Wolf Urine Lure. WTF? Is this high on most men's lists? Do that many people have problems with unwanted deer or other wolf prey that buying 32 ounces of wolf urine is a necessary purchase? And for Valentine's Day??? "Gee, thanks, Hon! It's just what I've always wanted!"
3. The Civil War: A Narrative, by Shelby Foote. A three-volume, hardcover set. I know I love nothing more than settling down together on a chilly Valentine's evening, snuggling next to the Farm Boy, reading aloud to each other the details of brutal, bloody battles. Good times!
4. The Kyjen Company Dog Agility Starter Kit. Okay, well, maybe your lover is also a dog-lover. Or maybe there's some interesting angle that works for humans that I don't know about. This could become a little kinkier than I'm willing to imagine. Or, maybe it's just a bad gift idea for Valentine's.
5. The Parmigiano Collection in a Gift Box. Seriously? Again with the CHEESE? Maybe combined with a few bottles of wine, I could buy that as a romantic gift. But the cheese standing alone? Is that really romantic?
6. World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade. This is what you buy for your Valentine if you NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM/HER AGAIN. "Honey, are you coming to bed?" "Yep. Right after I finish this next level." Right. Plan on being celibate for a long time.
7. Couples Key Chains. Yes, I'll admit that this could be a romantic gift, and I do love Red Envelope. Truly, I do. At first, I was all "aww, that's sweet!" But then I looked at the structure of the key chain. How the pieces, together, form a heart. Separated-- similarly to the Best Friends necklace/keychain concept, the heart is divided in half. This particular shape doesn't even look like half a heart. The Farm Boy would think it was a beer bottle opener. Classy, huh? Umm... wait. Now that I think of it... maybe that's what I should have gotten him for Valentine's.
Happy Valentine's Day. :-)