Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine Gift Suggestions.. for mega realz...

It never ceases to amaze me how lame some suggestion lists are when it comes to Valentine's Day. Yes, I know... it's not a "real" holiday... it's one you either love or hate... I get that. But I still read the lists anyway, because I find humor in what is assumed as a good gift idea. I rarely use those ideas myself... I much prefer being a little more creative. But the suggestion lists are always good for a few laughs. Like these suggestions, all from actual websites advertising Valentine's Gift Ideas:

1. A Valentine "Assortment of Romantic Cheeses in a Gift Box" by igourmet.com. Romantic cheeses? Don't get me wrong... I lovey the cheeses. Love, love, love. But ROMANTIC? What exactly makes a cheese romantic?

2. 32 oz Wolf Urine Lure. WTF? Is this high on most men's lists? Do that many people have problems with unwanted deer or other wolf prey that buying 32 ounces of wolf urine is a necessary purchase? And for Valentine's Day??? "Gee, thanks, Hon! It's just what I've always wanted!"

3. The Civil War: A Narrative, by Shelby Foote. A three-volume, hardcover set. I know I love nothing more than settling down together on a chilly Valentine's evening, snuggling next to the Farm Boy, reading aloud to each other the details of brutal, bloody battles. Good times!

4. The Kyjen Company Dog Agility Starter Kit. Okay, well, maybe your lover is also a dog-lover. Or maybe there's some interesting angle that works for humans that I don't know about. This could become a little kinkier than I'm willing to imagine. Or, maybe it's just a bad gift idea for Valentine's.

5. The Parmigiano Collection in a Gift Box. Seriously? Again with the CHEESE? Maybe combined with a few bottles of wine, I could buy that as a romantic gift. But the cheese standing alone? Is that really romantic?

6. World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade. This is what you buy for your Valentine if you NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM/HER AGAIN. "Honey, are you coming to bed?" "Yep. Right after I finish this next level." Right. Plan on being celibate for a long time.

7. Couples Key Chains. Yes, I'll admit that this could be a romantic gift, and I do love Red Envelope. Truly, I do. At first, I was all "aww, that's sweet!" But then I looked at the structure of the key chain. How the pieces, together, form a heart. Separated-- similarly to the Best Friends necklace/keychain concept, the heart is divided in half. This particular shape doesn't even look like half a heart. The Farm Boy would think it was a beer bottle opener. Classy, huh? Umm... wait. Now that I think of it... maybe that's what I should have gotten him for Valentine's.

Happy Valentine's Day. :-)

11 comments:

3carnations said...

I love me some cheese...If hubby gave me a cheese wheel, I'd probably be thrilled!

Paisley said...

Whackadoo!

Urine Lure? Um...please! That's exactly what I wanted!

I SO had a best friend necklace in grade school. I was the Be Fri. :)

lizgwiz said...

I, too, would LOVE a cheese wheel as a Valentine's gift. (Or for any occasion. Or no occasion. Loves me some cheese.) But you'd have to be sure you weren't giving it to someone with lactose intolerance--that could be unpleasant!

Stinkypaw said...

To give cheese is cheesy! he! he! I'm sooo funny!

tammara said...

The cheese standing alone - snort! I'm still laughing...

don't call me MA'AM said...

3carn: me, too. I would love any kind of cheese. I wouldn't say, however, that the cheese was ROMANTIC. The thought, yes. The cheese itself, no. ;-)

paisley: oh, good! 'Cause guess what I got YOU for Valentine's? Yep! Wolf urine! It's on its way! hahaa

lizgwiz: or maybe you could give it to someone lactose intolerant as the anti-Valentine. "Here you go! I hope you are sick as a dog after eating this!" ;-)

stinkypaw: ba dum CHING!

tammara: The whole time I was writing that post, all I could hear was that goofy nursery rhyme! Hi-ho-the derry-o!

maliavale said...

I have to say, while all those other gifts are ridiculous, I find cheese incredibly romantic. And by "romantic" I mean "delicious." Send that gift-guide-maker my way! Mmm. Cheese.

3carnations said...

We've all now been established as big fans of cheese.

goldennib said...

I was hoping I'd get me some wolf urine lure. Once again my husband blew it.

don't call me MA'AM said...

maliavale: well, if "romantic" means "delicious," then I'm in total agreement. Cheese is yummy.

3carn: yep, it seems that way! ;-)

goldennib: Aw! I'm so sorry. Tell him he'll need to step it up for next year!

stefanie said...

I actually think the keychain not looking exactly like a heart on its own sort of makes it cooler... it's like your own little secret what it really is. Plus, I read the description, and it's SUPPOSED to double as a bottle opener! Sweet! That actually makes it an even better gift, I think. :-)