1. Why do we need a show to search for the next Pussycat Doll? Why don't we just show more Girls Gone Wild commercials* and call it even? And while we're at it...
1a. Why is Mark McGrath throwing away his career? First, the anchor job at that hard-hitting journalism jewel, Extra, and now the host of The Search for the Next Doll? Mark, are you still trying to get people to quit calling you "Sugar," or do you really want to become the next Billy Bush? 'Cause, ummm, dude... that's not aspiring to much. (sorry, Billy)
2. Why does Daylight Saving Time hate me? I'm always frustrated at having to change our clocks, and I've said it before. Now, we have to adjust even earlier that usual in the spring, because it's supposedly going to save us all kinds of money. I'll believe it when I see it. What I DO know is that my internal clock will now be all kinds of screwed up for the next two or three weeks.
3. Why is it so fashionable lately to go into rehab... seemingly more so than ever??? You'd need to grow a few more appendages to add up the number of celebrities who publicly announced their checking into Promises or some other rehab center in the last year. Here's an idea: be proactive. Don't put yourself into the situations that are eventually going to result in you needing rehab.
There are soooooo many people who have real problems and need real help. If you go "crazy" because your fans aren't paying enough attention to you, perhaps you need something more than 28 days of the best pampering your money can buy you. Perhaps you just need a big ol' smack in the head.
4. Why are these Why Files crankier than usual? (oooh, ooooh, I know! I know!)
5. Why did it take the US Post Office so long to figure out the idea of a "Forever" stamp? I remember someone in my class in 2nd grade proposing this same idea a bajillion years ago.** It would be nice to not have to purchase those little add-on stamps to accompany the out-dated stamps I buy every time the USPS decides to raise their rates... again. Isn't it averaging out to something like every other day now?
And this concludes this Weekend's Why Files... hope your weekend was just grand.
*Not that I really want that. In fact, that show depresses me more than anything else on the planet, I think. Seriously, girls. Keep your clothes on. You're just going to regret it in a few years. And you just look like drunken fools. Unlike drunken geniuses.
**Well, okay. It wasn't actually a bajillion years ago, but it seems like it.