Sunday, March 11, 2007

Weekend Why Files... Now With Even More Grumpiness

1. Why do we need a show to search for the next Pussycat Doll? Why don't we just show more Girls Gone Wild commercials* and call it even? And while we're at it...

1a. Why is Mark McGrath throwing away his career? First, the anchor job at that hard-hitting journalism jewel, Extra, and now the host of The Search for the Next Doll? Mark, are you still trying to get people to quit calling you "Sugar," or do you really want to become the next Billy Bush? 'Cause, ummm, dude... that's not aspiring to much. (sorry, Billy)

2. Why does Daylight Saving Time hate me? I'm always frustrated at having to change our clocks, and I've said it before. Now, we have to adjust even earlier that usual in the spring, because it's supposedly going to save us all kinds of money. I'll believe it when I see it. What I DO know is that my internal clock will now be all kinds of screwed up for the next two or three weeks.

3. Why is it so fashionable lately to go into rehab... seemingly more so than ever??? You'd need to grow a few more appendages to add up the number of celebrities who publicly announced their checking into Promises or some other rehab center in the last year. Here's an idea: be proactive. Don't put yourself into the situations that are eventually going to result in you needing rehab.

There are soooooo many people who have real problems and need real help. If you go "crazy" because your fans aren't paying enough attention to you, perhaps you need something more than 28 days of the best pampering your money can buy you. Perhaps you just need a big ol' smack in the head.

4. Why are these Why Files crankier than usual? (oooh, ooooh, I know! I know!)

5. Why did it take the US Post Office so long to figure out the idea of a "Forever" stamp? I remember someone in my class in 2nd grade proposing this same idea a bajillion years ago.** It would be nice to not have to purchase those little add-on stamps to accompany the out-dated stamps I buy every time the USPS decides to raise their rates... again. Isn't it averaging out to something like every other day now?


And this concludes this Weekend's Why Files... hope your weekend was just grand.

*Not that I really want that. In fact, that show depresses me more than anything else on the planet, I think. Seriously, girls. Keep your clothes on. You're just going to regret it in a few years. And you just look like drunken fools. Unlike drunken geniuses.

**Well, okay. It wasn't actually a bajillion years ago, but it seems like it.

10 comments:

Gabrielle said...

Ok, 1. Mark McGrath??? WTH???? You're right, he's too talented for that crap.

2. Re: rehab--I have to disagree. I'm GLAD some of these people are getting rehab. I think yes, they're too often involved in silly behavior, but that's sometimes because they don't have a compass to guide them, because they have too many people sucking off them. Some people are cut out for that business and can handle it (usually the people who don't live in L.A.!); others become famous at such a young age that they don't have the skills. Sure, there's a lot of self-indulgent behavior and I'm not a fan of that, but my heart goes out to people who are genuinely trying to turn their lives around and deal with their pain, but who don't know how to go about it. I don't think being famous and rich is any consolation. We've lost too many talented people who couldn't deal. (Elvis!!)

Phew! 'Nuff said!

stefanie said...

I had no idea the Pussycat Dolls were still around until I saw the promos for that show. I was equally confused about the need for the show until I remembered that we're also deciding via reality show vote who should be the next stars of "Grease." I'm not saying that cleared matters up for me at all; I'm just saying I realized I'm simply not meant to understand, I guess.

lizgwiz said...

Yes, the "Forever" stamp is definitely an idea whose time should have come long ago. Maybe the Postal Service thinks that will get people writing letters again. Sorry, postal people--I'm all about the email now.

Daylight Saving Time gets me all screwed up for weeks, too. And we were just getting to the time of year when I don't have to try to wake up in the dark. It upsets me. I think I might have to go to rehab to get over it. ;)

Paisley said...

I read that Mark McGrath actually hated singing and LOVES his new career. Did you ever see him on Celebrity Jeopardy (all music)? The guy knows EVERYTHING about music. Insane.

Also, WHY did the post office think it was a good idea to get rid of the number system? Do they really think that having a line out the door and people leaning on the stand where you need to fill out your form is going to increase the amount of people using the po? That alone makes me investigate ways NOT to go there and use them. Dumbasses.

Stinkypaw said...

1. No need for that/them, and yet...

1a. Sad, I guess he just wanted to be with the dolls...

2. Same here - yuck!

3. Rehab = Their home away from home!

4. I know too! he! he! ;-)

5. Also got those this year - it's about friggin' time!

don't call me MA'AM said...

gabrielle: I agree that for people who really need help, they should get it. However, it just seems all too trendy now to go to rehab to save face or make it look like you're putting forth some effort (La Lohan?), but continue with same bad habits.

stefanie: exactly! I prefer shows where I don't have to vote for an outcome. ;-)

lizgwiz: YAY! Rehab for people who have problems with DST! Woot! Let's start it. I'd bet we would make lotsa cash. haha

paisley: I read that, too. I had just hoped he'd aim higher than Extra and The PC Dolls. He is too talented. And yes, I LOVED him on Celeb Jeopardy!

stinkypaw: 4. Is it that obvious? haha

tammara said...

I HATE-HATE-HATE daylight savings, and I don't care if it saves anything, because like you, my internal clock is now whacked for the next couple of weeks. And I don't know about anyone else, but I'm now flipping on lights in the morning that, last week, could remain off due to, um, DAYLIGHT.

(And to answer the question you left on my blog - no, it doesn't feel like it's ending anytime soon! Waaaa! for both of us! Does it qualify for a pity party if there are only two of us??)

goldennib said...

I used to like MM until he lowered himself. Why?

I took today off so I wouldn't have to suffer the time change.

Girls Gone Wild - idiots.

Alyssa said...

GF - the Pussycat Dolls are teaching us about how to be empowered women. Okay?

Jeez.

don't call me MA'AM said...

tammara: that's kind of like the water-saving toilets that you have to flush three times more often... gross, yes, but true.

And we can totally have a pity party. Maybe that will be my next blog post. :-)

goldennib: you were the smart one then!

alyssa: yes, if by "empowered," you mean that I can dance ike a stripper and sing gems about guys wishing their girlfriends were hot like me so that men will be so impressed that they would eventually respect my mind. Yeah. ;-)