Five more years of looking like I’m stoned….

I went to the DMV today to renew my driver’s license. My observations:

1) Everyone. Was. So. Nice. When was the last time THAT happened at a DMV? Maybe they were just mirroring my sparkling personality and bubbly mood… or maybe the planets are aligned just right… or maybe the End of Times is near… I don’t know. I’m just pleasantly amazed.

2) My sister told me that you’re not allowed to smile anymore for your DL pic. She said that it actually distorts what you look like when a cop pulls you over. So, I didn’t smile. Instead, I sort of pursed my lips for some unknown reason. Now I have this little, itty-bitty mouth in the middle of a giant face. I called my husband to complain about it, and he called me “such a girl” for worrying about my DL pic. Like that isn’t important?!?!?! (he’s the one that’s stoned apparently)

3) My sister is full of shit. The lady after me grinned like the freaking Cheshire. So, I look like I’m half pissed off and half stoned while this other lady looks like a nice, jolly person. Gah.

4) You’d think with all the technology advances in this year of Two Thousand and Six that they could come up with a better photo system. Seriously. “Face the camera and look at the tweety bird.” WHAT? There’s a Tweety Bird sticker just below the lens of the camera. A stick-URR. Not that I’m expecting some birdie hologram or anything like that. But COME ON!?! A sticker. Lame. Very lame.

5) Arrival time at DMV-- 11:10am. Departure time from DMV-- 11:20am. It's a new world record (for me anyway)! There must have been some time warp or something that everyone else was stuck in today, except for me. No lines of smelly people waiting and cursing about how long they've been waiting. I skipped into the Examiner's office (tra la la... no tickets for me=no test for me! yippee!) and then shimmied over to the county treasurer's office ($23.75 for a license?!? are you freaking kidding me? Nope. They weren't). Still, I had time for lunch before going back to the prison... I mean, OFFICE.

All in all... a shocking, but halfway pleasant experience. As Pepper Brooks says, "I feel shocked."